Vanishing from memory…
Memories of endless hours…
spent talking the daylight
away…
Memories of secrets told…and
no longing for yesterday…
Memories of jokes shared…and
of summer’s endless nights…
Memories of wasted time…when
hours were spent to say
nothing…
Memories of talks about
nothing…the near end
unknown…
Memories of the last day spent
together…when more love had
never been known…
Memories of the last
conversation…held in the heart
forever…
Memories of the joy you
brought me…lost in the pain of
losing you…
Memories of having you with
me…lost in the desperation to
have you alive…
Memories of the happiness you
brought us…forgotten in the
longing to keep you…
Memories of seeing
you...ruined by the pain of
missing a chance to reassure
you…
Memories of laughing with
you…lost in the tears that
mourn your absence…
Memories of knowing you…lost
in the pleas to save you…
Memories of your protection…
stolen in the search for your
life…
Memories of planning to see
you…traded for their right to
keep you…
How cautious I was while going my way,
When adversity upon me was thrust;
Words spoken in my ear to stay,
With evil thoughts to break my trust.
But you who trifle with my heart,
I once loved but now cause such grief;
For when the pain that tears apart,
Is now the soul for each reckless thief.
Now all these things need be confessed,
To bring conclusion to this affair;
To rid the soul of its forlorn unrest;
And ease the pain that lingers there.
For even if I go my way I fear,
My thwarted heart would shed a tear.
It’s a funny thing.
Has a connotation of pain and hate.
To me:
Its survival. It’s all I have.
If I lose it- I die.
If I see it, if I feel it- I live.
So far its been pain and only that
I wait for my chance
Until then, I live off of it.
My blood.
I just can’t find the words,
To ease the pain you feel.
Please know that you are not alone,
And somehow time can heal.
My heart, how it breaks for you,
As tender teardrops fall.
We may never have the answers,
To understand it all.
When everything around you crashes,
The roots of faith are tested.
Yet, beneath a devastated land,
The seeds of love are rested.
Once again, to rise, and be reborn,
New life and hope restored.
May Jesus hold you now,
The one who truly knows.
Our Lord and Savior,
He’s been there,
Fragile hearts and souls enclosed.
The pain and hurt you feel now,
So few have ever known.
He knows the feeling,
He bears the scars,
My friend you’re not alone.
I too, have walked in shoes you wear,
The path of thorns unfolds.
His footprints will alone remain,
He carries kindred “Soles”.
Sweetest child, in the poorest of health.
Sweetest soul, waiting to go home.
Sweetest smile, trying so hard to be like everyone else.
Sweetest laughter, that will echo in many hearts after you've gone.
Soft skin, hiding the pain beneath the surface...
a pain that no one but he could understand.
Through all, you remain better than us,
happier,
lovlier,
stronger...it is you that comforts us.
It is you that holds this family together.
Purest soul, one that can not be marred by sin.
Least deserving of any pain, any torture...any worry.
And yet it is I who can walk...and i walk for you.
For every step you can not take, my strides become more significant.
My love, unconditional.
My life...and everyone elses's you have touched...better for having known you.
Oh how I wish I could go back,
To heal the pain inside my heart;
To say goodbye before it was too late,
To see you smile at me once more;
To heal the pain inside my heart,
To hear your laughter fill the air,
To see you smile at me once more;
What I wouldn’t give to just go back,
To hear your laughter fill the air,
To say goodbye before it was too late,
What I wouldn’t give to just go back;
Oh how I wish I could go back.
~For Paula's Back to Bacl Contest~
Shh...
Hush...
Don't speak those words,
We don't want to hear them.
Remember us...
Do not forget...
Though we are gone,
Our memory remains.
Don't joke...
Don't laugh...
It's not funny,
The pain we deal with.
You ridicule...
You mock...
Who are you to judge us,
Have you forgotten we're human too?
This Day is for us,
When our pain and loss
Speak through the silence of others.
March 4, 2011
You left i cried
im lost inside
this pain i gain
tears fall like rain
it hurts it cuts
i miss you so much
three years have passed
im suffering atlast
realizing my pain out of no where it just hit me
wishing everyday that you'll come back to earth to get me
but your never comming back
and they'll never see me smile
due to all the love i lack
i wont be happy for awhile.
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Roxanne Lynnette
It hurts me
it kills me
this emptyness fills me
these memories they cut me
my arm is so bloody
my hearts barly beating
im possessed with this feeling
im loosing controle
tords the darkness i go
my cutts just wont heal
my pain just surrounds me
as im standing still
this world moves around me
im lost and alone
with a heart made of stone
waiting for the day you come back to me
but your gone and your souls free
and im suffering painfully
now im left to deal
with this pain that i feel.
-Spencer Coggsdale R.I.P ROXY
Tears in my eyes
is something I can not deny
with nowhere to go
and nothing to show
happiness just seeming to be a dream
and nightmares ripping me from the seams
a pain that is so deep
a torment I will always keep
searching for a purpose
one that never seems to surface
thoughts that are out of control
emotions that take there toll
finding someway to depart
to rid this pain in my heart
I see the sadness behind those eyes.
I feel the sorrow when your soul cries.
The pain of loss I:ve been betrayed,
Bye the dirt of the earth were your body was laid .
I"ll dig down deep to the box ,coverd with hurt
the pain and rocks .
The love of my life she has gone her way .
I would burn forever,
If in my life she could stay...............
James......................................................
PAIN
I HAVE NEVER DREAMT OF
THIS WILL BE MY
FATE.
THE THINGS ARE TURNING
INTO SIROCCO OF LIFE
AGAIN AND AGAIN.
THE TIME SHOULD HAVE
STOPPED BY ME.
AND SHOULD HAVE GONE
ON AND ON.
TH E FEEL IS HORRIBLE
FEEL TO FOLLOW
AND CAN'T BE CHANGED FOR
FOREVER SO.
IT HAS BEEN RUINED
ALL ALONE.
AND LEFT ALONE ON
ISLE OF MY OWN.
FEEL IS KICKING DEEP
IN MY HEART.
AND GIVING ANEURYSM
TO ME IN MY HEART.
THE PAIN IS UN-BEARABLE,
AND COMING OUT OF THE PAIN
IS DIFFICULT FOR
ME TO FACE.
IT IS NOT AT ALL
WAY I THOUGHT.
WHY CAN 'T IT BE
THE WAY I THOUGHT.
THE THINGS COMING BY ME
ARE NOT THE THINGS I THOUGHT.
THE FEEL IS KILLING ME
DAY AND NIGHT.
ELOPE IS THE THOUGHT
I AM THINKING OF.
TO GO ON ISLE
WHERE I CAN FIND MY OWN.
AND FEEL SHOULD BE GOOD
TO FEEL.
Streetlights steadily strike my head with their illumination. The light throbs to the beat
of my heart. Cold pain begins to take over. Night time consumes my body. All around me. In
silence, I watch as the car carries you off, far, far away.
Cold wind catches my breath, and steals it from me. Yearning for your presence, causes me
to suffer. I wait, wait, wait. Hoping you will turn around; run to me; embrace me. You
only abandon me…
Memories flash like slide shows. My vision; blurred by tears; dripping to the corners of
my mouth. Bitter salt soaks into the crevices of my tongue. I want to push the pain away.
I want nothing more than for you to return. I want the sorrow to subside. I need
happiness…I have nothing.
Dark sky; cloudless. Empty heart; loveless. Nothing in this world will ever replace you,
nothing at all. If only time would have stopped for us, if only you had just a few more
minutes, even seconds. Then my pain would not be here, my tears would not be falling to
the hard, chilled pavement.
Thinking of you while I lay dying
The pain is so intense
I lay here screaming in pain
Hyperventalating to keep the oxygen coming
Crying over the one I have lost.
If only I could go back
And erase the wrongs I've done to you.
For now though,
I continue pining away in your shadow
I lay here dying
THE PAIN HURTS SO BAD
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT BE SAD
YOU WONDER DAY AFTER DAY
WHY THIS ALL HAPPEND THIS WAY
YOU FEEL ABSOULTLY HELPLESS
CAN YOU HELP THE HELPLESS
THE ANSWER IS NO
YOU CAN ONLY WAIT TO KNOW
EVEN IF THE PAIN GOES FOR A LITTLE WHILE
YOU TRY ALL YOU CAN TO SMILE
BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
PICTURE YOURSELF IN THAT PERSON'S SHOE
EVEN IF YOU TRY YOU CANNOT STOP CRYING
BECAUSE ONE PERSON YOU LOVE IS DYING
REST IN PEACE UNCLE MIKEY DECEMBER 27,2008
ONE DAY WE WILL ME AGAIN IN HEAVEN
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