Long When push comes to shove Poems
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“One more word, just one more word!’’ before I start to break,
I feel the anger rising up, I tremble and I shake.
I try to think it’s not their fault, their only little kids,
But it isn’t enough to stop the anger breaking through the lid.
I leap to them with vacant eyes screaming “that is it!”
Grabbing at their little arms while I curse hiss and spit.
Dragging them to their bedrooms, throwing them to the floor,
Storming out to get away, slamming at the door.
Next I’m in my bedroom, my head held in my hands,
Trying hard to calm myself while I figure out a plan.
“Help me someone, help me please,” I mumble quietly,
“I just can’t take this anymore,” I pray to god, I plea.
10 minutes pass, the storm has gone, I’ve realised how I’ve been,
The calm makes me aware of this and guilt has now set in.
I slowly make my way into the quietness of their rooms,
Their little red faces wet with tears from their mother’s angry fume.
“I’m sorry darling for hurting you, I just got really mad,
I never meant to make you cry, or meant to make you sad”.
I hug them tight and tell them that I love them very much,
Hoping that their still comforted by their mothers touch.
“I need you to be helpful, I need you to be good”,
“Ok” they say in solemn tone, with hope they understood.
Wiping away remaining tears of the sadness that had been,
Hiding every single trace of the anger that they’d seen.
Now once again all is well, this feels a happy home,
Motherhood is oh so sweet when the angers overblown.
It’s all so unpredictable, when push comes to shove,
One day it fits so perfectly, the next it’s hard to love.
The trials and tribulations of motherhood, I’ve had,
Some days it comes so easily, some days it seems so bad.
I used to think I’m teaching them the ways and how to be,
But as time passes quickly by I cannot help but see,
That their the ones teaching me, in many ways then one,
They’ve taught me of a selfless love that comes from being a mum,
Self control is what I lack, they’ve taught me how to see,
If I don’t control my anger, my anger controls me.
So next time that you feel you just can’t take it anymore,
Don’t grab their little arms and shut them out behind a door,
But realise there’s a lesson that their teaching you right there,
And hold them close gratefully, with tender loving care.
The facial expression I wear; it gives nothing away
says nothing to no one except the mirror only to scream 'HELP ME'
There's no doubt that I've been this way before
I only thought I closed the door
not pessimistic, just melancholy yet so optimistic
Things are complicated, so complicated
could it be that I am clueless
it's part of the million haunting reasons
but the world decided to give me its weighted issues
and let my shoulders do the rest
though it leaves my only two greatest friends and family in peril
yet when push comes to shove intangible I return
ready for a fight
and in my mind, I always ponder the same old entry
Will the world ever accept me for the real me
I feel as if it may once I erase my clueless title
then on the other hand, maybe I deserve it
I've constantly placed irresponsibly the ones I care for in danger
I'm the never ending punchline of a school housed joke
I'm at the bottom of the food chain
And the only one who deems me as somebody important
has a reserved spot in the ejecter chair
for my reckless rejection infatuation with someone
who loves the part of me I try to keep secret
I've always wanted to be someone other than this
I've always wanted something more than this
even though I've complained before, it was all fake
I have no complaints
just a few mistakes that I wish I could erase
How could I be the hero when I'm just the zero
how many times does my story have to repeat and fall back on me
I've tried playing hero before, just being my real self
but denying the part of me that makes me who I am
all my seasons before I leave sealed wit a miss
The last one ripping me apart
just leaving me a single kiss on the cheek
I was the blue rose she wanted
until I turn intangible and the rose withered away
but it gave way to my real feelings
don't remember when I noticed
could've been the day her eyes captivated me
at our first high school dance
my final season has ended, sealed with a memorable kiss
the whole world knows my identities
my name in both senses
I just changed my last name so someone
would notice something different
nobody has except for one
I love every minute I've spent with her
and under her clouds of black, I know I'm her warmth
I could say I don't love her but I'd be lying to everyone including myself
When in Paris do as Romans do where pardon me I lost my Latin there
What is love truly like not to quench the stereo type
in clicks and cliche's let us count the ways from one liner's to hopefully the refiner
My face my mother has good taste grace please do not waste
Faint hearted love does not hurt only a shallow flirt
Fair love not everything goes in rules of the court
Next to you sugar taste like salt I wronged you it's my fault
In small houses best not to hurt the one
but forgive least that be turned to stone
Love thy neighbor a gift from above do not throw stones or live in
glass houses when push comes to shove
A many splendored thing not a splintered thing with kid's glove
One size fits all comfortably when God is your Love
For the Love of God is the truth better than the kisses of an enemy a rebuke
To love immeasurably the only measure to set us free is His pleasure
Love has everything to do with Love and contrary
to the other opposites do not attract well rarely
So when your bow you are a singing love is not blind just forgiving
So quit playing cards save your money and love your wife
looking for one choose words carefully ask a right
one will return as with promises, doves and ravens
one is wise but the other a safe haven
If you will and if it pleases how do I spell love JE SUS
There’s something about my love for my daughter,
maybe it’s all the lessons I have taught her.
Her bubbly smiles and ways only youth can display,
her growing independence, she’s too old to play.
Yes, there have been many times I have fought her,
but she shines like the constellations in array.
The angels danced when Ella Rose was born in sweetness,
now I shall confess she is my one true completeness.
A simplistic love we share with trust without obligation,
for I am so grateful for her God-given creation,
even though sometimes she wallows in discreteness,
I have full confidence she will show me appreciation.
As an infant she laughed at everything in sight,
those big brown doe eyes made everything all right.
Toddler years arrived with sassy days indeed,
but of course, me and her daddy met her every need.
For she is my saving grace, my eternal light,
I was born to give her roots as God planted the seed.
Her daddy will watch out for boys during puppy love,
as she will fall in deep with a boy she dreamed of.
Sincere adoration and complete devoted affection,
we share a bond beyond compare, a rare connection
she tells me girly secrets and when push comes to shove,
she is flawless to me even through imperfection.
She’s an aria of a melody with absolute splendor,
she can make a three pointer, yet so elegantly tender.
Her gifts of drawing and painting are excellent,
for she is my magnificence and has been heaven sent.
When she cries little girl tears on my knees I surrender,
trying everything in my power to heal her discontent.
I never knew a love could be so strong without romance,
and I am so grateful God gave me a second chance.
See I had a baby before her that gained angel wings,
now I have a sweet daughter and loveliness she sings.
There’s nothing like watching her graciously dance,
and oh, knowing she writes of such silly things.
I shall exalt Ella every day and nourish her necessities,
and show her my love and compassion shall never cease.
38 lines total
Non Romantic Love Poetry Contest
Emile Pinet
April 5, 2018
A right pair of dim wits, leaving one other emotionally scared
That’s her and him, but true what they say old habits die hard
Always a storm, again at each others thoats, this girl and guy
Is it the norm? comparing notes, if they'd let sleeping dogs lie
He tries but though in oblivion, she fails to even notice he's their
But could she be forgiven? shes doing her nails or fixing her hair
Then shed ask why he did not ring her? and he is not yet home
Because of course the poor blokes working his finger to the bone
I'm actually suprised! that she did not buy a lead for his birthday
But he's one of those guys, an unuasl breed, not the sort to srtay
She says jump! a lap dog he comes runing, tail between his legs
But at times she can be cunning,I think she like's it when he begs
And when push comes to shove their back to the same old routine
Is it just called puppy love? as at times that is what it would so seem
Do they realise what side their breads butterd on? a very unusal mix
Or lack of pride? I mutterd can anyone! teach an old dog new tricks?
WRITTEN 2/10/ 2012 ABOUT TWO PEOPLE I ONCE KNEW ALWAYS
A FOLLW UP TO TWEEDLE DUM TWEEDLE DEE......written 2012...........................
NOTE TO READERS,,,,,,,,,,
sorry I’ve put this on again much easer than having to reedit while on soup
just tweaked last couple of verses as felt this reads better and as one i like allot
and personal to self it was bugging me for quite a while as seemed a little all over the place
originally this was eight verse long but felt to much so tried cramming a lot into six verses
which took a while trying to keep a pattern but also with the metaphors
to adda little humour on top this is about an ex girlfriend and myself but lousy based on
alot of other relationships Ive seen at times in past ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
this has BEEN A BIT UPDATED AND CHOPED DOWN TO FOUR VERSE RATHER THAN SIX
I FELT THEIRS ENOUGH IN HERE TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT DRAGING
Daddy you know I love you you're my favorite person to love.
But daddy I'm so confused when push comes to shove.
you say you love me so much Daddy then why at me do you always yell?
And when you hit me Daddy do you know it hurts like hell.
Why do you call me fat and stupid Daddy when you helped make me.
When I want a hug and you push me away it hurts my heart don't you see.
When it's time for bed and you're gone I always ask mommy why and she tries not to cry.
Because she can't tell me Daddy would rather be out getting high.
wouldn't even hurt you if I suddenly were to die.
Does it even phase you daddy when my little brown eyes cry.
You promised you would never leave me Daddy I'm starting to see it's a lie.
You taught me my first word Daddy remember it was goodbye.
Don't you miss my kisses Daddy and the hugs where I would hold on so strong.
When I'm hurting Daddy where are you to ask me what's wrong?
Don't you miss my little voice Daddy telling you I love you so.
Don't you know it fills my heart with hurt when you still walk away after I beg you not to go.
Why do you leave me in a heartbeat Daddy as your son how did I fail?
You have already missed so much of my life Daddy because of Friends , drugs and jail.
Mommy tells me I'm special Daddy and the most amazing thing in her life too.
I'm starting to think she's lying daddy because if I was so amazing I be good enough for you.
I always beg mommy to call you so I can ask you to please just come home.
But she won't its like she already knows your answer Daddy we feel so alone.
why do you yell at me when I wake you up daddy all I want is a hug.
My love should be addicting to you like a drug.
To you would I be a need if I was weed don't my smile keep you high?
How can you look into my eyes Daddy and lie?
When I Grow Big Daddy I'm going to hate you for everything you put me and my mommy through.
Just remember we are not the ones who walked away from our family Daddy that was you.
Form:
It’s hard for me to take
My own advice
I’m writing what I’m fighting
But I’m still playing
With my life
I don’t even understand
The issues of my own brain
I go from addiction to affliction
But I married my pain
I find myself in consistent miscommunication
Simple minded people
Believe it’s the only form of communication
Passive aggressive
They breed confusing situations
Then when it comes to confrontation
They admit no responsibility for
The feelings of hostility and aggravation
I have already run the out of
Patience
I’m ready to put myself into solitary isolation
Me myself and I
Is the only consolation
In the face of the nonsense
I’m constantly facing
This anxiety still has my mind racing
Adrenaline in my bloodstream
Has my senses on heightened elevations
Eyes wide open
And a mind perceiving
Shocking Revelations...
Is there anyone capable
Of really loving me?
When push comes to shove
Why is it the ones closest to me
That are shoving me?
And it’s usually in the direction of the door
I remember all the places
I’ve been thrown away in
And that I can’t go back to anymore
So I stay ready for War
Post traumatically traumatized
Means I’m not the same me anymore
I have a disorder
That seems to puts my perspective
In a different order
I see sabotage and problems
And a pervasive sense of chaos
And disorder
So I’m never really at ease
A mind like mine
keeps me on the Battle Lines
So it’s hard for me to find any Peace
I see relationships I used to be in
Spiraling away
Like fallen leaves
I know why hearts
are always drawn with wings
Because love flies away and leaves
And when it’s gone
the feelings
That were once the feelings of love
Turn into a sickness
Like it’s become a disease
Bring me to my knees...
Take the blade from out of my back
And draw it across my throat
She said she loved me
But it was really murder she wrote.
Have we gone to far to take it back?
Like a fast running train that has jumped it’s track
Can we gather the pieces that we’ve thrown away?
And seek redemption in the words we pray.
How can we expect forgiveness from what we do?
We’re so unfaithful and so untrue.
I know we weren’t there when Jesus died for us.
So we take on the attitude what’s the big fuss?
They say He will return and claim His throne,
Will you believe then when the proof is shown?
We can remove His name from everything,
But when the final day comes whose praises will we sing.
Our government was suppose to be a voice for the majority,
Instead they do what they please in this land lead by the minority.
In God we trust is what has always lead us through,
But now they are saying God is not allowed only you.
I don’t know how this country got so turned around,
But I know the course we’re on and where we’re bound.
I hope someone out there knows what to do,
And lead us back to the things that will sustain us through.
I read an article about how HUD would not let this eighty some odd year old lady
place an angel on her Christmas tree.
Said it might offend some of the other tenants, WELL EXCUSE ME!
It reminds me of a one Adolph Hitler and what he did to the Jews,
If we don’t stop this idiocy before it gets full blown then Christians might start
feeling the point of the screw.
It’s not a joking matter and we can’t laugh it off anymore,
Or we are going to have the Gestapo policing Christians like they did in
Germany once before.
If you’re a Christian open your eyes and look,
They’re removing our rights one by one, day by day, book by book.
I don’t want to start trouble but I want what’s right,
And when push comes to shove are you ready to fight?
Is just Love an oasis in ‘desert of self’
Where my talents seem fossilized bones with no life?
I bless remnants of forebears (expired, long past prime)
That caress life, the breeze that cools brow, whose moist breath,
Does suggest some direction, moves me off the shelf
Of indifference! All I invent is my wife
Or mirage that just silently glistens and I’m
Fool’s gold’s victim who wrestles a vacuous death?
Yes, the “Little Prince” spoke ‘Truth,’ the desert that hides
An oasis is beautiful. Poetry’s less
Than the stardust metastasized facets of gems
That form crystalline structures, though contents of thoughts
Bring a smile to God’s lips or cause angel’s insides
To do cartwheels! Can rhythm or rhyme then possess,
Is it hatred or Love of this life that condemns
Grace that God gives to Jason and all Argonauts?
Let us all take a break from what some might call sin,
From the ones we trust Love us, for whom we feign Love!
Just remember God’s rain falls on ALL life! That’s ‘Kind!’
But does life that adapts thrive on Nature that’s here,
Or is all evolution ‘designed’ chance to win?
Do we profit by judging when push comes to shove,
Or gain more from God’s judgment when pride’s left behind?
Do you think truth’s a virtue to crowds that swill beer?
More than Love’s in the wheelhouse of life if I’m right,
For it’s stocked with provisions that lighten our loads.
There is Reason, there’s Math, and now Science as well,
And if Faith’s not an answer, it’s Faith that floats ‘Ark
Of All Wisdom’ that’s human, that’s ether for ‘Light
Waves’ that bend and refract as dark matter’s mass goads.
Can Man’s models of Nature, Sums, Logic then tell
Us how waves of light form? Faith’s God’s watermark’s ‘quark?’
Brian Johnston
2nd of October in 2019
My shadows are tender and easy to miss,
Like a smile seems innocuous, stealthy as kiss,
Still these shadows add weight, create drag in our life,
Though they rarely, if ever, cut deep like a knife!
Too, sunlight wracks havoc though most never feel
All its subtle intrusions till later we peel;
It brings low orbit satellite’s life to an end,
Just the pressure of sunlight can make craft descend.
A shadow's like weed's buried seeds in the ground.
They can spring up in garden where Love should abound,
Weeds drain soil of the nutrients man’s harvest needs
If our vigilance fails us, then entropy (1) leads.
Pay heed to your shadows; they're baobab trees, (2)
That if left unattended, bring worlds to their knees,
Yes, ‘The Little Prince’ (3) warned us, and he’s just a child,
Let us pray that the future won't find man defiled!
Examine your light source if it comes from man,
Try to filter it often before choosing clan,
For all men are your brothers when push comes to shove,
Can a winner rest easy who owns bloody glove?
Long Tooth
November 10, 2017
Poet's Notes:
(1) Entropy is a concept related to the degree of “disorder” found in the universe. At the instant of the “Big Bang,” the disorder was “Zero” or perfect. As time goes on however and the stars all burn out and die, the disorder will presumably be “infinite.”
(2). A “Baobab Tree” is an African tree that can look like anything from a “Coke” bottle to a large “Elm Tree” that has been hit multiple times by lightning! In short, the Baobab is extremely primitive, twisted, and unique (but to me) ugly species! But it is a valuable source of vitamin C to native people.
(3) "The Little Prince" is a favorite book by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.