Long Smugly Poems

She looked at him concerned
"Oh my God, we forgot the buns!"
A barbeque happening
Guests arriving
Coals flaming
Food prepared
But nothing to put burgers on
For their housewarming

Hasty instructions and some cash
From his Lover and her roomies
Then he starts to...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Having been avid antiques collectors for nearly 4 decades, my wife and I met our share of rascals like this sneaky dealer - 


Damp and chilly winds were blowing, leaves would paint the ground,
As me...

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This is a tale of one of the orneriest dudes there ever was, and how someone much smaller, but easily more clever than he was, managed to cope with his belligerence.  

  ...

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On the night before Christmas, alone in my house, 
Sorrow gnawed at my soul, like a ravenous mouse.
Entombed in my blankets, I struggled to sleep,
Ready to snap if I counted more sheep.

I rose at the...

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Written in summer of 1976.


I used to eat my lunch with groups
of businessmen from Campbell Soups.

We drank a drink at lunch each day
Of Coca-Cola mixed with hay

And talked of pending corporate plans
And willow-haired orangutans.

I spent...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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Our anti-racism, pro-polyculturing health
anti-egopatriarchy, pro-ecofeminist wealth
anti-homophobic, pro-trans-regenerative
anti-injustice Team, pro-restoring peace Organizers

Meet inside a viciously anti-outdoor
windowless
airless
music-less
museless
left-brain oppressively dominant room,
climate,
atmosphere,
attitude of ungratitude.

Two women I passionately admire,
would warmly accompany within any outdoor sacred space,
are doing their best to...

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This poor dope needs to work on his memory - 


Early one morning while me and the wife were lying in bed…in the raw…
She caught me staring at what I would feel was the cutest...

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A war you can win

                              ...

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Hard lessons learned when brought into my home at the age of 3                      ...

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Consonant Like A Vow (el)

Now ma nada twirly (to early) twittering 
condolences to the esprit de corps, qua 
(just recently) late John McCain, and his 
surviving family suddenly damning original 
way word odd did see,...

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Arms and head missing.
Not an accident.
This was intentional.

Bobby Bendarino smiling.
Busting with pride over his handiwork.
Unashamed of his behavior.

Convinced he'd get away with it
He even winked.
Making the young girl's screams louder.

"Damn," I thought,
"Why do I have...

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February 13th, 2023 - old man winter gave a one...two punch

Overladen snow covered crackle and crunch
though, this skeptic owned a doubtful hunch
that such 24/7 round the clock whether coverage
would make laughingstock of forecasting
how Jack Frost...

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Cluttering above huddled rooftops
Of sprawling villages 
And shy provincial towns;
Rising sharply amidst swooping
Declinations;
Hesitating when gathering at the
Tangled woodland perimeters of
Outlying greenland bounds,
Jostled apex ridges detach among
Themselves...
When habitually roused from early
Mornings
Newly awakened sounds.

Electrical milk floats whir...

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When I think of the times in therapy that I spent with Lenny, they weren't that of a therapist to a patient.  They were more of daughter to father or daughter to grandfather. Like...

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I was only allowed to go, after much whining 
     begging, promises of unlikely saint-hood
     if my brother, (much to his displeasure) made a pledge
  ...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his iron balls ginormous!


I Learned Too Late
by Michael R. Burch 

“Show,...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS II

Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
“With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow!”

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why...

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Emotional guillotine clefts
     irredeemable psychological umbilical accord
witnessing heart breaking,
     woe-begotten inhumane rip cord
gut wrenching shuffle board
     (indiscriminately sporting)
     most...

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Trump Poems and Epigrams VI

Poets laud Justice’s
high principles.
Trump just gropes
her raw genitals.
—Michael R. Burch



Dark Shroud, Silver Lining
by Michael R. Burch

Trump cares so little for the silly pests
who rise to swarm his rallies that he jests:
“The...

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1) I hate brown-nosers far more than I hate most other nosers 
of virtually any known color!

2) I will make it a point to slap you in front of your superiors,
with a biblical fury, the...

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Before restoring outside perfection,
perpetual pleasures
of prosperous peace

I remain responsible,
compulsively responsive,
habitually receptive
to repairing inside win/lose
past competitive aggressions,
negatively suppressive 
non-communications

My most resilient repentance
includes self-forgiveness
for over-stressed addictions
to trauma repressors,
for failing to do my best
on a bad day

I usually...

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How I Got Rich and What Happened Then

I used to eat my lunch with groups
of businessman from Campbell's Soups.

We drank a drink at lunch each day
Of Coca-Cola mixed with hay

And talked of pending corporate plans
And...

Read More