Long Smartass Poems

I wanna trade in my stubby spindleshanks...,

(a poor excuse for legs),
and get me the latest
sophisticated prosthetics advancements,
whereat integration of cultured stem cells
into custom made appendages
allows, enables, and provides
unfortunate recipients of amputations
to experience sensations.

No more will...

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Little child
Your tiny hands hold a little flower
Delicately, you start weaving a story about peace
In your gentleness, you understand how happiness works
It is the sanctuary of warm softness in the heart
Free of all clouds and...

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Damn them computer hackers...
nothing but persistent 
pesky sniveling, snot nosed 
beastie boy buggers.

Data breach conundrum with Gmail rectified...
courtesy MacKeeper computer technicians
in tandem with the geek inside me,
who finally resolved elusive quandary
that befuddled and frustrated yours...

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Restorative justice programs
empower victims
and enlighten remorseful perpetrators

To become active co-responders
in a partnership
to brighten win/lose
left-brain dominant trespassers
in the win/win grace of forgiving
fore-gifting all us Trespassers
as we forgive our TransPassive exploiters
straight white privileged monoculturists
overpoweringly competitive capitalists
climate eco-extractive...

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Wanting what I can’t have,
That seems to be my M.O.,
Why I keep doing it I’ll never know,
You’d think I’d understand that I can’t have it;

(Yeah yeah yeah,)
(Go ahead,)
(Make a blonde joke,)
(I’m not even blonde dumb...

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I looked at the room broken bottles blood fragments of clothes.
maybe a tooth from somebody not fast are to drunk to get outta the way of a conversation 
turned bad. 

The juke box had almost...

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Virtual trophies (wife for I)... 

offered, husbanded, and collected 
when winning solitaire
Nothing beats that exaltant rush of adrenaline
watching the computer generated cards
automatically routed 
to their respective suite (spot)
(after they get turned face value up)
generates countenance...

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Sassy sobriquets schooled sissy spindleshanks...
studious sexagenarian skinny scruffy scribe

My utmost humblest apology
for inducing the following
cerebral calisthenics upon your cranium,
but the cost of friendship
with yours truly 
(me – a foo fighting,
eagle eyed, beatle browed, beastie boy...

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Nuttin boot mieskeit goyim...
lives among this nebbish atheist of Jewish ancestry

Tongue in cheek Yiddish
humor to playfully scold
often time sounds
like a compliment
yours truly, (a run
of the mill Shlimazel) behold

only knows a smidgen,
yet grew up within household
where...

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Sassy sobriquets schooled sissy spindleshanks...
studious skinny scruffy scribe

Scathing, scolding, screaming,
scorning, searing, sing,
sociopathic sarin soaked skewed
squirt, sputtering, squawking, sleepily
staggering, stabbing, swaggering
sweltering sadistic, sarcastic,

savage, systemically systematically
stigmatized, supersized saber sharp
schick shaving, shunned, sabotaged,
scarred, scorched, smote, sanguine,
stippled, speckled schizophrenic
sensibility,...

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The boundingly large Dwarf shook his head, disapprovingly,"
discussing payment afterward is
not the Dwarven way"-he winced 
his annoyed -- half displeasure liberally and spat,
while stroking his sword sized dagger.
Massaging into it; his family crest emblem 
with...

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December Twenty Seventh 
Of Two thousand and Nine
Is the night I lost my brother
A Best friend of mine

The night two paths were chosen
One for him and one for I
A night I'll never forget
The night he...

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Goddamn smartass squirrel goes through a window and starts slapping a plush toy. 
Turning it over and over.
"You got jacked, !"
Up on its attention antennae, sealed in clover.
Up for all comers, winters and summers, 
Springing...

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Save Your Lousy Self


Save your pity for a fool that is not witty
  save your sorrow for a jerk with no tomorrow
Save your scorn for your future unborn
  save your smartass for another...

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I wished for love to come and find me and that’s how our story began
You invaded my world with your charm and understanding heart
I knew you were different from the start 
We had many ups...

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You called me a smartass, and this I must confess,
                  it’s better than that other part it seems...

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