Long Seltzer Poems

Allow me to be disgusted at the jest
and your halfway happy surprise at the end result
of the missile timed precisely:

Did he just splatter?

And allow me to feel the brunt of the bruising
upon my saddened heart,...

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On a cobblestone street,
cracked and ill-repaired, 
I rifle antique shops 
  for a jeweled music box 
     to cradle my empty locket. 
I wish to drop it 
  ...

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1. Write a poem
2. Call up an old friend
3. Read a book
4. Make sandwiches to save for later
5. Call your mom
6. Go for a walk
7. Go for a jog
8. Draw fantastical creatures
9. Eat healthy snacks
10....

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The Stop & Shop strike v. Game of Thrones. 
In Game what’s not made plain
is the condition of the people
compared with warriors and queens.
There’s no mention of land-clearance, tree-felling, 
pruning, chopping, digging, hoeing, 
weeding, branding,...

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Zenith University   

I am a proud graduate  
of Zenith University,  
where the quality stays on  
until the little dot  
shrinks and goes away.  

I attended that fine institution  
with Tom and Jerry,  
Heckl, Jeckl, Mickey, Minnie,  
Da?y, Donald, Daisy,  
Huey, Dewey, Louie,  
Speedy, Wile E., Gumby, Pokey,  
Yogi, Boo Boo, Dino, Chucko,  
Hobo Kelley, Lassie, Bozo,  
Betty, Barney, Bam Bam Rubble, 
Wilma, Pebbles, Fred,  
Casper, Felix, Sheri? John,  
Gentle Ben, and Mr. Ed.     

Astro, Elroy,  
Judy, George, and Jane--  
Eddie Haskell, Wally Cleaver,  
Mom and Dad and Little Beaver.    

Favorite Martian--Flying Nun,  
James Arness--smoking gun, 
Spanky and Alfalfa,  
Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Tests consisted   
of posted patterns.
To see those,  
you had to get up early  
like Jack LaLanne and Buns of Steel, 
Captain Kangaroo.  

Mid-morning classes included  
Monte Hall (quite a deal), 
Bob the Barker (not the builder). 

Allen Ludden passed the words, ...

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I see you hipsters in rustic coffee shops with pictures of Marlyn Monroe and contemporary art, 
the girl in all black with a black beret to make her look more avant-garde and red colored hair...

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7/25/21


Until infinity
In any vicinity
Let me put it out there officially
I smoke and drink religiously
Call it the holy trinity
Initially
You'd think it does not mean s*** to me
And that all of it was done deliberately
Don't need your...

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My stomach's like a rumbling pit
     That any moment may explode.
My stomach's like a roiling pot
     That's holding way too big a load.
My stomach's like Vesuvius;
 ...

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Feeling the need to put my words/thoughts in a letter
Not sure if hearing from me makes you dither...
Or rather makes you want to quiver
Sending shock waves to your liver

Saying you want to get to know...

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Take me back to a time when have a Pepsi was for merry people at Christmas,
When General Electric fairy lights hung on real trees and pine needles fell,
Father Christmas smoked Pall Mall cigarettes because they...

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It was the night before Thanksgiving, had 
trouble sleeping, counting sheep don’t work…

Kept thinking of the leftovers that we would have, 
knowing that they would be calling my name before long…

With no will power to...

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I am like a little seltzer pill.
Effervescent bubbles deep inside.
You are the liquid all around me, all around...
Uncovering the joy that I would hide.
	I want to dissolve myself in you.
	I want to dissolve.
	So, wrap yourself...

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July fireworks bring together families and friends 
for a much needed vacation from worries and work.
Picnics at and on the lake just for memorie's fond taking.
I remember the days of old when watching a movie...

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Sitting in the “Peanut Gallery”  in the centre of Doodyville
Clutching my Clarabell Clown Marionette , such a Thrill
No tangled strings, on my gift from Mom  and Dad Vacing
Buffalo Bob says ”Please put on...

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Whilst I hover here
wondering if i'll be sick
The hazy details of the nights debauchery
Become clearer with every retch, 
And nothing. 

Who took that photo with the silly face?
I really thought id be able to pace
Myself...

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From Queens to Manhattan, I rode the subway.
I will never forget that late spring day,
when I walked into that Greenwich Village café.
This young girl practically stole my heart away.
With a long white dress, and a...

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Naked Clowns Demented Brother

Alas one disaster follows another,
naked clown - demented brother
dancing for the heads of state
asleep with faces in their plate
and as the rubber chicken stretches
they send again the fool who fetches
red noses from...

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Modern Appetite
by Michael R. Burch

"Women, wine, song ..."

It grumbled low, insisting it would feast
on blood and flesh, etcetera, at least
three times a day. With soft lubricious grease

and pale salacious oils, it would ease 
its way...

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On a blustery cold day
   Before a terrible snow storm
Such an awful thing happened
   Unbeknownst to me.

After celebrating at a Christmas Party
   To my surprise
I will never know why
...

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PEPTO BISMOL said to her friend, "MLANTA's coming over, what should I serve?"

Her friend replied, "Perhaps your ANTACID would like a PRILOZEC salad, if she has ZANTAC
of her TUMS.  If she's not hungry, you...

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NOISE ANNOYS

Externally it might emerge as a belch
Especially as the seltzer may just fizz
But inside, one may just hear the stomach squelch

Maybe a hiccup, well you know how it is
A grunt is quite the opposite,...

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A Coca-Cola bottle shape, sweet bubbly peaches, and cream
A moment, a time, could this be a Love Supreme?

My throat's parched and my tongue's lonely. I can't wait to pop that top, I'm serious so stop...

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Show me a man, not engulfed in lust before love
Nor in the beginning craved her enchanting groove
Then I will show you a liar
As the burning wools, enliven the pride of a cooking stove
So inevitably depends...

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Soon, it got up to Dr. Spencer
Burning incense on coppery censer 
In pursuit of a fitting answer 
To the craziest hard hitting cancer:
A line he’d toed for an ulcer 
And it result gave him for...

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In truth, a glass is never empty
    except in space, low pressure bell.

Though it appears half full of water,
    the top half's occupied as well. 

In fact, the moment...

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