Long Quirky Poems

Psychologically still thirteen 

Ordinarily meaning pre Internet days
familiarization with me would entail
bringing the avid listener 
into my private mancave hideaways
less a physical place than a juncture in relationship, 
(whereby one or the other of us)...

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Highlight of Goofus and Gallant 
bred within the survival instinct 
of hungry hordes of prey, 
when Earth in the balance 
against an uncomfortable truth 
smug smurf like scavengers. 

     Punishment meted...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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Increase In Head Size

impossible mission to encapsulate notion 
flitting hither and yon, to and fro
within cranium attached to mine body,
whereby irrefutable proof prevails
predicated when yours truly
scrutinizes other people visibly aware,
I a modest married male 
blessed,...

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Immortal Al, the poet. 
Yes, and don’t he know it 
And forget me not, his imaginary friend, Mortal Lee, that’s me! 
He has a Masters in Authorship. Me, his penmanship. 
He’s not just any or...

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(alternately titled: idolizing childhood's end
today April 25th, 2021
generates elusive warm treasured memories).

Akin to significance my eldest sister
felt toward her “Willies” –
(totally tubular fuzzy bendable contrivances
analogous to an outsize pipe cleaner)
until she became a tweener
my Matty...

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Yours truly embarks on wild goose chase after elusive pot of gold

alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon...

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Her back never faces the door

“I’ll only need you on certain days”

she says
(absently)

“I’ll have to write them down
my memory doesn’t work so well
especially when I am caught up”

she’s thinking
(a lovely stare)

“Who is that in the...

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An unexceptional turning point in our marriage...

unexpectedly came about,
when possible prospect
of the wife going
to Puerto Rico by herself
(for a fêted celebration
of our eldest daughter
and her significant other,
which occurred years ago
courtesy justice of the peace)
attended by...

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Galley slave to obsessive compulsive disordered behavior announces...

Fore score minus xv orbitz ago
from being centenarian
strong contractions forced me
to pass thru cervix,
buck naked bare lady,
I ranked as only grandson sharing
same surname as Aaron,
(mine paternal grandfather)
me the...

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Existential crisis still encompasses mein kampf Valentine's day 2022

The following lines written disjointed fashion
attempting to mimic strategically 
moving pieces erratically on chessboard
ideally yielding ultimate resultant checkmate
opposing men captured for the queen to use.

Jurassic throwback terrible...

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Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time 
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to...

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Yuletide pageants vis a vis merry go round revisited

healthy progeny regaled being alive
analogous to children ecstatic twenty-five
on December exhaling joie de vivre at dive 
in into neat stack of wrapped gifts, when...
what! out of thin...

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By some quirky short circuit.
A drone mutated itself 
and became intelligent
.
As fate would have, 
The drone decided to take revenge. 
Chose Chill Bates as its target
The drone altered its algorithm 
and started re-programming.... its fellow...

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I posit picayune propensities prevail among pesky management

Most favored renter status imposed on us
i.e. meaning myself;
(one tarnished prince of Highland Manor)
and the missus, his princess consort
who must abide by rigorous writ
of tidiness, whereby
every flat surface...

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Written: December 31, 2024, Contest: Sponsored by: Kai Michael Neumann
                         ...

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Adolescent infatuations...never consummated

Greetings reader from a cross between an aging seventy inch long (ringing ding dong) haired pencil necked geek and a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe; meaning yours truly actually a virtually married Pennsylvania man,...

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Argh daylight savings time ends – 2:00 AM November 6th 2022

Hour hands of o'clock get set back 
sixty minutes gaining extra hour of Autumn
round about this same day of November 
every year, what a bum
er,...

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Daylight Savings Time Ends – November 5th 2023 means...

discombobulated, harried, and lobotomized
state of body, mind, and spirit triage.

Onset of dark shadows signalling edge of night
occurs earlier as the world turns  
beckoning, hinting, robbing passage...

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Argh Daylight Savings Time – March 13th, 2022

Once again, yours truly
dishes out his regular dose
of literary gobbledygook
even Count Dracula
would not even bat an eye
nor give me his evil curse,
butta I avoid tempting him 
courtesy fanged...

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I'd love to paint, a picture for you, of images in my head.
Of a quirky old town, I'll set the scene, as you rise from a crooked bed.
The room you're in, whilst large in size,...

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Yuletide pageant merry go round

Panoply of mystical elements of holly day style 
breathe prez sense frostily exhaled aired
per millennia athwart 
(this terrestrial spaceship planet Earth)
two plus seventeen carousel rides resonated
veritable pantheon of pagan rituals 
and...

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Across figurative and literal blackened white board...

Where death of democracy writ large,
nevertheless psychological strength predominates
unlike earlier chapters of mein kampf.

Mine hardscrabble existential debacle 
spelled losing game
swept me up in malevolent mindset 
far adrift from harbored...

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I, A. Robbie - Ham guilty for gobbledygook...
and ruffling turkey feathers!

An innocent A1 miss steak kin kith
once, a former main lion resident 
living social where Tigress and Euphrates 
converge and pool into Lake Wobegone ...

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