Long Purty Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Font Din Black

so u real??? 
Warning! The following choppy, batty, 
dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, 
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, 
sketchy material prone to find the reader 
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably...

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~~~~            ~~~~            ~~~~          ...

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snuggled up to the gentle fire
under the moon and stars 
he rests his head
and nestles into
a long lingering
swig of whiskey 
that drifts his mind
on the night breeze
like the billowy puff
slowly eclipsing
the moon 
a sparkling stream...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause...

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Fellow African-Americans Please Don't Get Offended...This Is Purely Fictional

...Sitting comfortably in the shade, I'm trying to relax
Muscles aching from whipping 20 blacks on their backs
Teach them White Power
For the last 2 hours
Had to get some...

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The Mocking-Bird


He did n’t know much music 
When first he come along; 
An’ all the birds went wonderin’ 
Why he did n’t sing a song.

They primped their feathers in the sun, 
An’ sung their sweetest...

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"My dear Hannah:  We're camped nigh a town called Gettysburg tonight.
I take pen in hand to write to you, my love, by the flickerin' candlelight.
From afar I hear the beat of Rebel drums preparin'...

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He rode in to Santa Fe one summer day on a broken-down, sweaty nag.
All he owned was the clothes on his back and the Bible in his saddle bag.
He wore a suit of black, an...

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Today as in every day I battle with whats carried within.This accumulation,this compilation of aberations of spirit and mind.Why do I continue this struggle,to be the invisible woman wishing to be seen.Who is willing to...

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Things wuz purty quiet 'til them thirsty cowpokes stormed into Abilene town!
They'd been on the long and dusty trail and wuz ready to toss some whiskey down!
The trail boss paid 'em thar wages sayin', "Boys,...

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There was a rumor that I heared ‘bout Pete
Goin’ and committin’ matrimony—
But that’s likely as ol’ Scratch getting’ beat,
And who said it is full of baloney!

But John-Bob done says he was the best man
And shore...

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The poker game wuz progressin' purty well 'til Iron Mike started a ruckus!
Seems he had some spare aces up his sleeve, that dirty, sneaky cuss!
One-Eyed Pete didn't cotton to them shenanigans and drew his forty-four!
Iron...

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Last Saturday night I dropped by for a few beers at Kelsey's Bar.
Archie Bunker was there, drinkin' beer and chompin' on a nickel seegar,
Expoundin' on religion and his pinko, atheist son-in-law, Meathead!
If you dared to...

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An old cowpoke throwed his leg over the well-worn saddle horn,
And tilted back his ten-gallon hat that was sweat-stained and worn.
From his shirt pocket he took a Bull Durham tobacco pouch,
And with one hand made...

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"Rise an' shine you lazy cowpokes!  Time to saddle up yer hoss!
Time to move them moo-cows to summer range!" yelled th' trail boss!
"You've lolled around here all winter, now it's time to earn yer...

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Hank rested his boots on the railin' of the bunkhouse when day was done.
The pointy-toes of his scruffy boots framed the slowly settin' sun.
He leaned back in his rockin' chair, his hands embracin' the back...

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Now its purty well knowed that cowpokes prefer to ride a horse,
An' movin' pitchers show 'em astride prancin' horses of course.
But Hank, a cow-puncher fer many years ain't like th' usual pack;
He prefers to mount...

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Cowboyin' seems so romantical as seen in th' pitcher shows.
Ain't a lick uv truth in that as ever' workin' cowpoke knows.
Movie stars is paid big bucks with a fancy saddle fer thar horse,
An' always ride...

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.
             
            From mine dream'd
       ...

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The sun settled over the mountains jes' 'bout two hours ago.
Now the moon is risin' in the east a-castin' its meller glow.
In the distance, howlin' wolves render a very discordant choir,
As weary, sleepy cowpokes lounge...

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'Tis purty easy to size up a feller by the cap he wears,
By glancin' at the message that on his cap he shares.
Boldy emblazoned is a logo bright and clear,
Revealin' his dubious tastes and facts...

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Dear Ma and Pa:  I'm now a proud United States Marine!
I've found it purty easy to slip into their tough routine.
Some of them city fellers think things is really rough,
But growin' up on the...

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.
                    yup
              ...

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