Prickly Pete Gets Hitched

There was a rumor that I heared ‘bout Pete Goin’ and committin’ matrimony— But that’s likely as ol’ Scratch getting’ beat, And who said it is full of baloney! But John-Bob done says he was the best man And shore nuff Prickly went and tied the knot— But I cain’t see Pete wearin’ a gal’s bran’, So I done thinks it’s just as likely not! But lo and behold in rides ol’ Prickly With a purty gal all strawberry blonde— But ol’ Pete, he is lookin’ might sickly And of his nose ring he just ain’t too fond! Then right in front of the whole dern ol’ town, Stoney, smilin’, he just pops the question: “Is you hitched Pete? With yer feet on the ground? Or is we dreamin’ and you’s still our bastion?!” Ol’ Pete, he climbs down back to earth and yells: “Not many call me a bastion and live! I ain’t never heard me no weddin’ bells And here’s a passel of advice I’ll give: “Never jumps to them conclusions, mister, That even your eyes may lead you to see— Ya see this here is my dear young sister— And all you cowboys better let her be!” Well, all the town folk done apologized— And there sure weren’t no ring on a finger— But we gets to thinkin’ that they had lied When their kisses did linger and linger! “Well, gosh dern! That proves it!” Stoney did say, “It’s shore nuff somethin’ that ya jest cain’t miss! If Pete and that gal married up OK— An ol’ married couple wouldn’t still kiss!” So I reckon the moral here ain’t neat— Don’t jump claims or to no dern conclusions— Specially ‘bout the ol’ cowboy called Pete Or you’ll wind up with just more confusions!