Long Moaner Poems

I must tell you of a yarn 
About the Prince’s barn 
It sits on a hill 
Overlooking an area where there was so much kill 

Today it is a place where one goes to find...

Read More

Minnie was a moaner
She was always blue,
She had lost all her friends
Although she only had a few.

She moaned about the weather,
Especially when it rained.
She complained about her neighbours,
Who thought she was a pain?

She didn't like...

Read More

(For Beloved Pets competition, submitted June 16th 2015)



Tell-tale marks from your last climb, those claw marks in the paper
removing the wall coverings better than a shop bought scraper
the light pull I have had to change,...

Read More

I don't want to sound like no rant nor raver
But when people say to me love thy neighbour
This woman has no once of common courtesy
It's like shes always there ready to pouce on me

A fussy...

Read More

I have become a moaner,
Huffing, puffing, growling, groaner
I find it hard to bend and stretch
My dog is too old to 'Go fetch'
'You fetch yourself.' my old pooch said.
As he snuggled up in his doggy bed.
I...

Read More

He will make everything fabulous
Wait and see
He has a way of doing things
He knows what needs to be done first
And every step thereafter
He knows how to do things
Plan things and make things to come
We don’t...

Read More

You have an Alice band, keeps your hair in place,
Dum and Dee said you're so modern, have an interface,
long time since Terry"s tea party, we were timeless,
the Mad Hatter said: 'Poof!' Couldn't care less.

The Doormouse...

Read More

Shirley girl it’s been a thrill
Let me introduce you to Bill
He has a dog called Jet
He’s a solid bet
You’re dumping me after an hour
One hour
Sixty minutes of bliss
How you reminisced
Your ex Ted
Shot himself in the...

Read More

The Moaner.

Too many cooks in the kitchen they're bound to spoil the broth.
Too much soap in the bath tub it's over-run with froth.
Not enough coal on the fire it needs stoking to keep you from...

Read More

The sound of the light
Like shimmering grace.
Walk slowly through the night,
Marigolds and greens we've laced.

Like a shimmering grace,
Fret not your weary ways.
Marigolds and greens we've laced,
Take time with your brand new ways.

Fret not your weary...

Read More

Will you notice inside?
There’s a pain you can’t hide
Will you feel used and broken?
In your purse are there tokens?
For the cost of a ticket to ride

Do you think you’ll stay pretty?
Will you be quite as...

Read More

Whenever I’m able I raid the bird table
I snap up some mealworms and go
The nearby house owner a bad tempered moaner
Berates me because I’m a crow

That snotty Rob Robin just sits there bob bobbing 
And...

Read More

What the hell you looking at
It’s rude to stare you daft old bat
I think I’m gonna look right back
Some might call that tit for tat

That bloke you're with seems quite refined
Doesn’t seem to be your...

Read More

i do not have a girl, its just no im not a phoner, i do enjoy my bread, but just no im not a sconer, i know i like to laugh, but just no im...

Read More

Jocelyn, secretly puzzelled 
over how she could marry a man named Morely. 
Morely the moaner she secretly called him. 

As most women do, 
she understood the perversities of men 
She made leeway for their impracticality,...

Read More

I have become a groaner
Misery and a moaner,
My body is becoming frail
My eyes are fading my face is pale.
My legs are wobbly, I wear a brace,
Behind these wrinkles, I have a face
Not one that would...

Read More