Long Miffed Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Lumi's hand pressed upon his shoulder in a surprisingly firm grip guiding him into the dining area and to the second of two long slender tables where sat five older elves including DynDoeth.
  ...

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This is, as indicated, the 1st HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd half had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No other way I could manage to make it...

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One day not long past our economy faltered
And wouldn’t improve if our course were unaltered.

'Cause we buy stuff at Wal-Mart (where things are dirt cheap)
'Cause they buy from China (treats workers like sheep

(So farmers left...

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Here's why this was necessary...

   This is, as indicated, the 1st THIRD of a lengthy 3-part poem. The 2nd and 3rd THIRDS had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations....

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Here's the deal, folks...

This is, as indicated, the 2nd HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. Due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations, this piece, like several of my story-pieces, had to be posted in 2 parts....

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JOE VERSUS THE RACCOON 
By Kate H. Stark


Each night ‘twas the same old proverbial shout. 
“Hey Joe, will you please take the garbage bags out?”

Joe sighed, rolled his eyes as he walked toward the door....

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Winter Weary
A rhyme that sends a winters “chill’.
With snow, not knowing where to start.
But as he’s had some time to “chill”. 
A fellow with a changing heart.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...

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Attention please…I’d like to have a minute of your time
To tell you why I rarely understand the “weaker sex.”
Always struggling hard to break their stupid verbal code…
I’ve never really figured out why things are so...

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I bought an older dresser at an auction late last month, and also snagged what I believe’s a super ancient chair.
Both, I think, are solid oak, and luckily the dresser is nicely trimmed with fancy...

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Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
Or Dragon Hood and the Secret of the Burning Pants


Our traveling actor trolls, came home to help with ‘Shakespeare in the Park’.
We wanted ‘Romeo and Juliet’, our neighborhood witches wanted ‘Mac...

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I could be way off base, but I think that ‘Control’
and ‘Graced Giving’ are opposites, poles that can’t meet
in a space with dimensions, where sanity floats
and integrity lives (for one can’t buy a gift!)
‘Good Samaritan’s...

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Both of my daughters 
have married and moved on
both now have lives 
and homes of their own 

both their “old” bedrooms
now empty of them
their laughter 
and music  

still harbour their presence
their energy and love
and...

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I know that I sail close to the wind
It's something I do to counter lack of confidence
Let's get in a frenzy of mixing metaphors now: I throw myself past the point of no return, seeing...

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Around that lonely house by the hill
The stray cat prowls through
His eyes glowing like meteors in the dark
And his fur's fawn rough
The stray cat strolls to the casement
Meowing for succour
The owner-occupier sneaks with a rod
Ready...

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"England and America are two countries separated by a common language." 
                          ...

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I'm an orange monkey
in China I was made,
stitched with much affection
and garlanded with braid.

Purchased then on eBay
and wrapped to make a gift,
I was posted to a friend
who felt a little miffed.

I felt I wasn't wanted
when...

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Nutter Butter. Almond Joy, Mounds Bars, and Cherry Mash.
Those candy manufacturers know how to name to get their cash.
We contenders scoff; we snicker and sneer.
The toymaker crazy idea brigade has just arrived here.

Someone throws out,...

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Prissy Patti was placed in the running competition 
Not because she was the fastest, but she was the pushiest.
And hares are well-known for backing off in most fights.
She was preening and twirling in the large...

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Take nothing for granted, little kids,
It was library day for our kids,
Lateral epic lit. for the kids,
The kids' librarian was off her tits,
Reading new wave epic lit.,
Such as "Paddington got Pissed,"
Then there was a new...

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"The Folk Dance"
On the backs of well formed muscular miners 
Working hard in the trenches on a daily basis
For the men who need coal, fat cats and such
Dirty, sweaty and tireless toil try to wear...

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"The Better Side"

It's possible to sacrifice so much of yourself people think your Band-Aids are clothing labels. Never stop to ask how they may be beneficial, grabbing,  pulling so you never heal. Always underwater...

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Coup d'oeil, you tried to comport
For your sake, I obscure my discomfort
As a man of refinement, I dismiss bizarre incitements
Yet the verity of my deeds I shall say in perspectives most iridescent

Compulsive are your manners,...

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*Image of Smallest Dog by Bio.

The Small Dog from Shansi

There was a scholar from Shansi City,
Miffed by folks he stayed in an priory,
Peaceful, but bothered by its many bugs,
So he bundled like a baby in...

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