Long Miffed Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Lumi's hand pressed upon his shoulder in a surprisingly firm grip guiding him into the dining area and to the second of two long slender tables where sat five older elves including DynDoeth.
  ...

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One day not long past our economy faltered
And wouldn’t improve if our course were unaltered.

'Cause we buy stuff at Wal-Mart (where things are dirt cheap)
'Cause they buy from China (treats workers like sheep

(So farmers left...

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JOE VERSUS THE RACCOON 
By Kate H. Stark


Each night ‘twas the same old proverbial shout. 
“Hey Joe, will you please take the garbage bags out?”

Joe sighed, rolled his eyes as he walked toward the door....

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Winter Weary
A rhyme that sends a winters “chill’.
With snow, not knowing where to start.
But as he’s had some time to “chill”. 
A fellow with a changing heart.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...

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Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
Or Dragon Hood and the Secret of the Burning Pants


Our traveling actor trolls, came home to help with ‘Shakespeare in the Park’.
We wanted ‘Romeo and Juliet’, our neighborhood witches wanted ‘Mac...

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I could be way off base, but I think that ‘Control’
and ‘Graced Giving’ are opposites, poles that can’t meet
in a space with dimensions, where sanity floats
and integrity lives (for one can’t buy a gift!)
‘Good Samaritan’s...

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Both of my daughters 
have married and moved on
both now have lives 
and homes of their own 

both their “old” bedrooms
now empty of them
their laughter 
and music  

still harbour their presence
their energy and love
and...

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I know that I sail close to the wind
It's something I do to counter lack of confidence
Let's get in a frenzy of mixing metaphors now: I throw myself past the point of no return, seeing...

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Around that lonely house by the hill
The stray cat prowls through
His eyes glowing like meteors in the dark
And his fur's fawn rough
The stray cat strolls to the casement
Meowing for succour
The owner-occupier sneaks with a rod
Ready...

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"England and America are two countries separated by a common language." 
                          ...

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I'm an orange monkey
in China I was made,
stitched with much affection
and garlanded with braid.

Purchased then on eBay
and wrapped to make a gift,
I was posted to a friend
who felt a little miffed.

I felt I wasn't wanted
when...

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Nutter Butter. Almond Joy, Mounds Bars, and Cherry Mash.
Those candy manufacturers know how to name to get their cash.
We contenders scoff; we snicker and sneer.
The toymaker crazy idea brigade has just arrived here.

Someone throws out,...

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Prissy Patti was placed in the running competition 
Not because she was the fastest, but she was the pushiest.
And hares are well-known for backing off in most fights.
She was preening and twirling in the large...

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Take nothing for granted, little kids,
It was library day for our kids,
Lateral epic lit. for the kids,
The kids' librarian was off her tits,
Reading new wave epic lit.,
Such as "Paddington got Pissed,"
Then there was a new...

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"The Folk Dance"
On the backs of well formed muscular miners 
Working hard in the trenches on a daily basis
For the men who need coal, fat cats and such
Dirty, sweaty and tireless toil try to wear...

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"The Better Side"

It's possible to sacrifice so much of yourself people think your Band-Aids are clothing labels. Never stop to ask how they may be beneficial, grabbing,  pulling so you never heal. Always underwater...

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I nearly fell apart, felt despair
Picked myself back up and focussed 
Just split seconds can devastate when resilience is low

My teenage daughter hadn't got ready on time, I tried gentle encouragement, step by step advice,...

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Coup d'oeil, you tried to comport
For your sake, I obscure my discomfort
As a man of refinement, I dismiss bizarre incitements
Yet the verity of my deeds I shall say in perspectives most iridescent

Compulsive are your manners,...

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*Image of Smallest Dog by Bio.

The Small Dog from Shansi

There was a scholar from Shansi City,
Miffed by folks he stayed in an priory,
Peaceful, but bothered by its many bugs,
So he bundled like a baby in...

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One afternoon I went digging in my purse
For all the change that I could find
But all that was there in that big empty purse
Was two quarters and two dimes

Not enough that day to buy that...

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I once knew a poet called William,
Of renown was this Stratford lad.
A writer of plays and sonnets was he
And his gags, they weren’t half bad.
Now Queen Liz wanted him to join t’ army
Cos she’d ...

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Dots and line and blips on a page. 
Squiggles. Dashes. Swirls. Short and long ones.
Some with loops. Others just plain plain. 
None meant anything to Charles. They never had.


He had gotten along fine in forty-six...

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This is a story about a boy so bold
A story around campfires; a hero I suppose
When people talk about him, some say he knows
The truth of his story still yet to be told

A strong young...

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