Long Knock on wood Poems
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Attention! Attention! Read all about it, and don't you dare doubt it. You know me. I
thrive in controversy! When it comes to poetry, some of you is showing mercy! So I'm
gonna be 110% real. So here's the deal. I must get this sickness off my chest. So allow me
to address these member contests.
I see a lot of favoritism, it's borderline racism! See I'm a grown man, so understand
I'm not into games. Now these members, I won't mention names, and no this ain't no verbal
gun. I'm not gonna take shots at anyone. So you can remove the bullet proof vests. Go
back and view the last 10 contests, and that person who ran it. I don't understand it! It
must be a sin that the same 10 win over and over again! Knock on wood. Ain't no one that
damn good!
Attention! Attention! Read all about it and don't you dare doubt it! So what if a fellow
poet gets mad. It's sad to give them something they didn't earn. They need to learn.
Nothing in life is free! That's reality. You need to erase that first place! You did not earn it
and that "ribbon" you need to burn it! Now this is legit. Something really smells and surely
ain't s#%t!
Attention! Attention! Read all about it and don't you dare doubt it! On this site well into
the night, relationships are made, but don't be afraid to tell it how it is! You can tell the
quality in poetry between hers and his! The poets you've come to love, and are fond of
without a doubt don't need a handout! What cha mean, you don't want to hurt no ones
pride?! You're setting that poet up to commit suicide! Rejection can really sting! Especially
going through life not earning a thing! I guess that is the difference between you and me.
Because materialistically I had to sacrifice. I earned everything I got in my life!
*I'm aware the contests are judged by the "opinion" of the person that sponsors the contest.
But stop letting personal feelings get involved. It's a sign of weakness!
rules to play by
ring the bell then knock on wood
one good turn deserves another
take one thing replace it with another
stalking a box
circled with chaos
we only have eachother
take out your name replace it with a new age
in the center stage its all the rage
down right fist fight
no rules left
so give them a right
we say one thing
they said it right
we say tuesday
we said nothing the got it
nothing means something
multimedia
digital
resurrected digital
slider
pass it on
ressurected hero
play by the rules
one day i was meant to be permanent
an excuse to be an illusion
time ticking
pick up the string
tie a knott
hang on to the dream
inside the envelope of the fates to be
so many abstract things inside this box of everything
cursing objects
stalked because of what they represent
clues of the final end
the curtains and the sentence we never said
the thing we cant pretend
final destination
overated
smiling overcrowded
walll to wall overwhelmed
animals
sitting ducks
fancy and wild eyed
slow helll
and three days to try
try to give it up
and change pandora
close the box
make up another rule
replace aname
rinfg the bell
close the box
send it along
forewarned is forearmed
ressurect the blue slider
player on your other shoulder
the past of the red slider
gonna be on your team gonna get the box back
replace what i need to
wash my hands clean of it
lety that be my only prize
ressurrect the perfect message
the rules to play by
item by item
pointing to my hiding spot
will they ever find me
among the marbles and spoons
the missing children
and you replace the only thing
with what changes the slide
to where i was
you come to get me
so we run away to where they will be
but not for long
a window of opportunity
close the door
knock twice
turn the wheel
we got a tie
the loose ends
that slide
all this to replace my will
Coffee, it is evident, is not Sherry's cup of tea;
She likes spirits like sherry and brandy
and knows the ropes of winemaking to a tee;
An oenologist by profession, like her pal Brandy,
found her niche in viticulture. Numbers of spirits
she's tasted, as a sommelier whose forté is wine
tasting. Oddly enough, she will actually whine
if I try to talk her out of dealing with other spirits.
She's involved in paranormal practices
and that chills me to the bone. She will lock up
in her tiny cubicle for hours to "communicate
with the beyond" and claims to have connected
with certain famous individuals after their
departures and says they are doing fine.
At least she says my "poems" blow her socks
off but I ought to massage her ducky feet
so that she read my verse. If I don't, she socks
me right in the gob! I feel I accomplish a feat
without an oxygen mask. It's not easy to bear
whatsoever the task of massaging her bare
dogs though I'm glad I don't have to polish
her toenails. She never paints 'em. Her Polish
friend concurs that Sherry is a little cracked
in the upper storey.
Dating a 146 IQ girl isn't all it's cracked
up to be. End of story.
I'm wondering: If we were in the North Pole
would she be barefoot so often? The Pole
thinks so and misses the golden days
when they both made money doing pole
dancing. "Boy we would definitely daze
the men at the club. They voted each night
for the best dancer. Most times the polls,
I have to admit, were in Sherry's favor.
Jolly times. But don't you dare have the gall
to say a word. She helps folks lose weight
today and loves it. Be kind to my half-Gaul
half-Brit friend and don't have her wait
when she wants foot massage. You would
be putting your foot in your mouth. Now go
put your feet up." Well, knock on wood,
the Pole's words made me feel lucky. Yo!
I woke up this morning,
and then without warning,
I rolled off the bed,
soundly bumping my head.
That was just the beginning of what I call,
my most exasperating day of all.
Here's what happened next:
Got into the shower,
then suddenly lost power.
Stubbed my toe getting out,
causing me to curse and shout.
In the dark I tried to dress,
hoping I wouldn't look a mess.
Lights came back on and sure enough,
mismatched socks and other stuff.
Spilled hot coffee on my blouse,
just as I was leaving the house.
Back inside to change my clothes;
so far this day really blows!
Ran some errands, so far so good,
maybe I should knock on wood.
Called a friend and met for lunch.
While eating I felt a startling crunch!
A tooth had broken - I wanted to wail!
Why couldn't I have broken a nail?
Now I'm feeling mighty stressed;
this dental problem must be addressed.
Dentist saw me right away,
and told me what I'd have to pay.
Tears welled up at his words.
The price was totally absurd!
Maybe I should just go toothless,
these dental fees are way to ruthless.
Driving home I was so distraught,
I didn't stop as I ought.
Police lights flashed in my rear view;
now what am I going to do?
The policeman asked for license and registration;
I started to blubber in frustration.
How could so many things go wrong in one day?
Now I have a ticket to pay.
I made it home without more trouble,
and then I poured myself a double
portion of sweet iced tea,
to refresh and comfort me.
I think I'll just go to bed,
pull the covers over my head,
and pray that tomorrow will be,
a much better day for me.
8/7/16
(Fortunately, this is a work of fiction)
The Fortune Teller
By Rick Rucker
I sat there as my fortune was read,
Wondering if I would soon be dead,
As she turned over each new card,
The waiting was very hard,
Finally, she asked me to form, in my mind,
An important question, of any kind,
The answer would, to her be known,
She would receive it, as if by phone,
Then she would answer my query,
I admit, I was leery,
I had already paid her money,
And I wanted to know about me, and my Honey,
Would she, forever, be my mate?
Would being blissfully happy be our Fate?
After some lively interaction,
She answered to my satisfaction,
Now, we came to the crux,
This nervousness really sucks!
Now, for the big ending,
A wish, to the Spirit, I would be sending,
The most important thing in my life,
A wish, with emotion, rife,
I thought long, and hard,
My fortune dependent on my next card!
She talked before turning it,
Finally, I could hardly sit,
As I was getting weak,
She gave the card a little tweak,
It obediently turned face up,
Falling near my coffee cup,
I did not know what it meant,
My emotions were completely spent,
She said, “Oh, that is very good!”
I hit the table, to knock on wood,
My most fervent wish would come true,
But what it is, I can’t tell you,
To reveal it, might be a jinx,
That is what the fortune teller thinks,
But, in two decades, near the end of my life,
You can ask me, and my wife,
By then, we will have had the time,
To have a Life, so sublime!
Hello Santa, Nice to meet you this year
I've been very good, come rain or shine
I know what your thinking, you have your fears
But I don't want anything big this time
I just want some books (ten would do)
Maybe some Tolkien, or Verne perhaps?
Some Sanderson would be good to
And a book on how to take a nap
(Insomnia Is very rough)
I also want a lock pick set
One that's strong, and very tough
And this time around I do not want a pet
Now, I know what your saying, You haven't been good
Coal's in your future, you can knock on wood
Well, I know I mocked that presenter
But he was as bad as Lincoln was good
And I know I became my family's dissenter
But truth be told they needed one
They always were a sheepish bunch
They always had the same kind of fun
Then I went and ruined their lunch
And that time where I drunk my sister's drink
She had no label on it!
She knows it was that or the sink
It's her that needs to take a sit
Now, I know your naughty list has my name reserved
three years running, I've been bored
But this year Santa, Let me tell you
To invest in me, though undeserved
You see I wrote a letter or two
To some high-ranking fellows at the Station
This Fellow named Tom and One named Tim
Is letting me do a presentation
If I a piece of coal (Or five, or ten)
I'll say You did me a great disservice
I'll talk about you all day
And you'll be right to be nervous
I'm sure you know what I will say
So dear Santa, I expect to get my presents
Or else I'll do some newsy segments
Defined By Idioms
Naked truth, bent nails
dead men tell no tales
bad Apple, broken mirrors
burnt out light bulbs, crocodile tears
spilt milk, goose chase
two cents worth, rat race
rotten egg, bad to the bone
eagle eye, no place like home.
bat from hell,
pulled punch
big cheese,
no free lunch
can of worms, bleeding heart
knock on wood,
till death do us part
bite the bullet, checkered past
good as gold,
last laugh
burning bridges,
ball of wax
hold your horses start from scratch
wooden nickels ace up your sleeve
hair of the dog
all Greek to me
axe to grind
behind the eight ball
bigger they are
the harder they fall
jack of all trades cat's got your tongue
fair weathered friend
like father like son
small world
on thin ice
speak of the Devil roll of the dice
blood's thicker than water
lie like a rug
dime a dozen
when push comes to shove
dog eared pages
eye for an eye
bury the hatchet how time flies clean as a whistle C
chew the fat
crime doesn't pay. cover my ass
throw me under the bus gentle as a lamb
cold shoulder
hit the fan
buyer beware
woman's work never done
never say never
takes one to know one
come Hell or high water
pissing in the wind
pretty as a picture through thick and thin
beat a dead horse pass the buck
whole nine yards down on my luck
life’s a
don't rock boat
needless to say
go for broke
My life is the sum of trite cliches
Jaded expressions
so worthless so worn
I couldn't give it away
I would rather be a hammer than a nail. "Yes i would, if I could, out
in the open ocean," would I sail.
If I could, and if I should ! I will not take for granted the physical view of
seeing my mother working herself singlehandily and instill in us the mentality
of endurence that is not to be_______"Misunderstood.."
"If I could, and had I my wings to fly !" "{for} then I would go somewhere re-
pudated where there is no crime against humanity." My wings to fly, amidst the
yonders on high, and I got into a conversation with the great wise owl. And I ask..
...oh yes-would I, "O'Wise Owl, would you care to tell me...will this bread of (poverty)
be enough to feed my family!" "I would if I could, is his reply-as he stares out be-
yond the massive blue sky..."Alone this is not the essence of a happy home, but the
everlasting word of knowledge is the fruit of endurence, and God's present in your
life is how feed the Multitudes and recieve the fulness of my seed." "O'Great Owl..
...I must obey, and then he up's and flies away....(!!!).."
I rather to have been the diamond than the pearl, if I could, I surily will make the
wealthy pay their share of taxes, and then perhaps it just might be enough to help
feed the hungry childrens of the world. So, in this divertsified world in which (we) all
live day too day, and play the game of life as if it shall lead us as a metaphor society
to knock on wood.
I rather be in Heaven than in jail if I could, I surily would because I do care,
I used to walk carefree around this world,
My shoulders light and free of any chips
Not thinking fate would ever come unfurled
By nonsense escaping naïve lips
I thought Murphy ’s Law was ludacris
Karma for a mind that over thinks
Superstition existed to dismiss
All part of fate’s anxiety hijinks’
Until it came to my moving day
I lived high up on the 11th floor
Casually to the moving guys, “Hey,
Do this quick, I’ll tip you a little more.”
A few shortcuts to speed things up a bit
“What’s the very worst that could happen?
Throw straps on that piano, get on with it,
Hurry up now, I’m too busy to tap in.”
Off I went to an important meeting
Signed the client that made everyone wary
Called 3 times for this face to face greeting
I wonder why they call her bloody Mary
No bad ever gets to me, nothing could
I stepped on cracks all the way home, too
And I refuse to ever knock on wood
Who could be so down with a sky so blue!
I peered up toward the aforementioned sky
A feeling unfamiliar appeared
A trick of the reflection in my eye?
Or warnings come to fruition I feared
Hurtling down due to a broken pulley
Was my big beautiful baby grand
No one took the time to check it fully
And I stood right where it was to land
I wish now I watched my fate testin’ talk
Cuz that piano is really hummin’
Whose ivories tickled me into sidewalk
Damn, I guess I shoulda seen it comin’
January 27, 2023
Shoulda Seen it Comin' Contest
Sponsor: John Lawless
(my lyrics for a country song, but with no music yet.)
Well, my momma -bless her soul - she brought me up good.
She taught me all she knew and she taught me what she should,
She took me to a church and she made me knock on wood.
Still, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
‘Cause I’m sittin’ here and thinkin’ that you’re look’in mighty fine.
You set my heart to pound’in and I’d like to make you mine.
But I’m such a careful gal though I walk a thin line,
Yeah, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke,
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!
Well, I’m contemplatin’ things with you I’m not supposed to do.
If I’m halfway to Hell, they’ll put me all the way through!
But I’m only HALF-stupid - unlucky for you!
Yes, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Yes, I know you’ve got your pride, but listen, so do I.
I might not tell the truth, but I sure don’t tell no lie!
And I never will give in, for if you ask me why,
It’s because I’m just a half-baked sinner.
Repeat Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!