From My Lips To Santa's Ears 'Crowned 3-Piece Sonnet'

Hello Santa, Nice to meet you this year I've been very good, come rain or shine I know what your thinking, you have your fears But I don't want anything big this time I just want some books (ten would do) Maybe some Tolkien, or Verne perhaps? Some Sanderson would be good to And a book on how to take a nap (Insomnia Is very rough) I also want a lock pick set One that's strong, and very tough And this time around I do not want a pet Now, I know what your saying, You haven't been good Coal's in your future, you can knock on wood Well, I know I mocked that presenter But he was as bad as Lincoln was good And I know I became my family's dissenter But truth be told they needed one They always were a sheepish bunch They always had the same kind of fun Then I went and ruined their lunch And that time where I drunk my sister's drink She had no label on it! She knows it was that or the sink It's her that needs to take a sit Now, I know your naughty list has my name reserved three years running, I've been bored But this year Santa, Let me tell you To invest in me, though undeserved You see I wrote a letter or two To some high-ranking fellows at the Station This Fellow named Tom and One named Tim Is letting me do a presentation If I a piece of coal (Or five, or ten) I'll say You did me a great disservice I'll talk about you all day And you'll be right to be nervous I'm sure you know what I will say So dear Santa, I expect to get my presents Or else I'll do some newsy segments