Long Jealousies Poems
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I really have outdone myself this time!
My ‘God Machine’ is finally in place!
I’ll never have to fret about a rhyme,
Or stop for a red light that changed from green
As if it sought to put me in my place
A random hiccup clearly quite obscene.
I really am quite clever I must say
My ‘subtle knife’ (1) allowing me to splice
My ‘God Machine’ into time’s tawdry day
The true God left completely unaware
That He is now controlled by my device
And just another victim of malware.
It seems there’s quite a lot that ‘God’ screwed up
That I intend to change now I’m in charge
I think that its bad form to cover-up!
So what’s the deal with dying anyway?
Let no one die will be my countercharge
And life is just a breeze on my freeway!
All pain mere nuisance, manna heaven sent
And sin gives you enormous facial zits
While love and kindness clear up all your rent.
Though talents differ, jealousies dissolve
As differences bring none real benefits
And non-destructive social moves evolve.
All birth defects, parental wealth passé
Genetic weakness gone with dodo bird
No accident of birth gives worth per se
Sins of the parent cannot taint the child
That God might favor one is just absurd
The color of one’s skin no more reviled.
But now I find my plans have gone awry
My God Machine decided I’m a flaw
It seems that I’m outdated samurai
Humanity endangering MY plan
Just plankton in the future’s yawning maw
Machine judged only advocate for man! (2)
Brian Johnston
November 5, 2014
Poet's Notes:
(1) subtle knife - A reference to a magical knife that can open windows in time in one of the 3 books in the Phillip Pullman trilogy 'His Dark Materials' including The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass.
(2) My poetic version of the lesson of the book and movie 2001 (written by Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke) where HAL, a computer so smart that it becomes sentient, decides that that only way to really protect a manned mission of a spaceship to the planet Jupiter is to kill all the humans on board the spaceship. The crew's humanity HAL decides is just too big a risk to the mission that HAL is charged (by its human programmers) to protect.
In the shadows of my heart
I feel the shame growing, strengthening
Itself through the memories of a past
Where I just didn’t grasp the meaning of His Grace
His love and His kindness, His mercy
So inspiring…
In the shadows of my heart
I feel like I should just give up, but where
Oh where could I go…
Even in doubt, even in despair, even in dishonor
He is my only answer. He is the only way
He is the where who I embrace when I can’t see
Past the fears and tears, through the darkness
That seems like it will never lift, - feels like I will
Never see the light of the SON, THE SON
The MOST BEAUTIFUL SON!
In the shadows of my heart
I feel the humiliation of my own jealousies,
My own fears, my own dishonor and indignity
Destroying my hopes and dreams, discrediting
Me, my belief… oh, please – Savior, beautiful SON
Shine down through my soul, bless me with Your love,
Silence the doubts, the sorrows, the destroyer…
Who comes to kill and wreck the beautiful that
Will never fade, the beautiful that is the way to see
Into the spirit of those who believe HE IS THE LIGHT
He is the King! He is the reason for everything –
He is the SON who lights up my soul!
In the shadows – there are sorrows untold,
Fears that I’ve never spoken, tears that have never
Fallen – yet, when I remember Him, the SON
Who abides with me, through every dark place,
Through every disgrace… I remember this LOVE
That gives meaning to the word – JESUS!
In the shadow of my heart, I know SOMEONE
Who casts away every hurt and brings me into the light,
Where I can finally see – He is brighter than the sun,
More beautiful than the moon – He silences every hurt
He is the ONE who brings me hope, faith and love
He is the only REASON I seek Him, overcome with the knowledge
That HIS LOVE abides through every shadow, every fear
WITH HIM, I can face the worst there is with the assurance
That WITH HIM, I will never be without a prayer
Because of Him, my intercessor, my prayers are met
With God’s acceptance!
I love HIM more than I can say – with love that never doubts or fades
Thank YOU, Jesus.. for everything!
END TIMES : TWO
End time dramas continue
to unfold as foretold
tribes of Judah and
Gad united in ether
descending conspiring
to pull Matrix strings
across rooms boom
death Will hidden
documents forged
a trigger activates
illicit action
Centre remains perfection
resurrection
Claim no marriage for
money honeyed
both are paper thin
dust speckled dragonflies
glide into geraniums cry
Truth mourns
hen-chicken ferns
hush murky tears
car ignition fear
burns
Pain has nowhere to
pulse but deep within
stealth sidles sleep
jealousies bleep
forever laced in viral
lanced cellular haste
Antares and Arcturus
watch spiritual warriors
discuss hush actions
gush
Clothed in black head
to toe racing an Audi
making it glow, split
second disappearance
Light sees ass twitch
seeking protection from
words rained in past
reflections
Outgrown forms collapse
to usher in cycles of
initiatory synapse
What is this past anyway ?
Another man’s download
in a desert of dialectic
redemption fast
These end times hold
keys to Uruz strength
so wrenching deep
mouldy ceilings weep
glass teapot aches
growth changes rune
stone answers fake
Passages of Dark part
once again decay
death fertilization
gestation rebirth
this is progression
as mirth
Then Melchedzidek spoke
in cloak to Sham’s Forty
Rules of Love inked across
my marked forehead
mint plant pegged
ancient fern atop torn
garden statue stern
Who will take the
Leap of Faith leaving
to proclaim missions
without a fission
Spiritual warriors know
their inner laws when
writ in cursive upon
open doors
they care not when
orders to leave
fly thick and fast
not cheap
Miners died in vain cold
digging for gold sold to
adorn Draco throats torn
glistening gloat
forms dying disguised
as boss lost tossed
we know no collapse
will not be flossed
our timing spot
on glossed
We live life potent
respected radical
transition
seize a moment
seen the vision !
©GhairoDanielsPoetry
&Song2025
They were loyal sisters.
The older
was also more fair,
prettier in an Original Barbie kind of way.
She had been sick
when her younger,
darker,
more tomboy sister
met and first desired
my tall, dark, and handsome Uncle.
When older and fairest of all Sisters
returned home,
after a long healthcare absence,
she too desired Uncle Handsome,
as did we all,
in our time and ways,
but Handsome's eyes never wavered again
once reset on older and fairest Sister.
Young darker Sister, left behind,
began to heal
when tall, dark, and handsome #2
showed up
and spoke smokey truths
of happiness,
kindness,
quiet gentleness.
But not too gentle.
Slow and steady; confident
integrity could heal all guilt
and angers
and prior disappointments.
These two Sisters
and their TD and H husbands
lived near each other
and grew old together
with unspoken neighborly mistrusts,
unresolved struggles with and about envy,
jealousies and jilts,
but also laughter and deep mutual regard.
Who can control chemistry,
or timing?
Who can forgive,
and how long could this revolution take?
Yet even restrained love
can grow abundantly rich
with both age and generosity.
Younger and darker Sister
lost her husband to cancer
and then her memory,
while older fairest Sister and husband
moved into assisted housing
after reaching golden fifty years
together.
Then good-natured patient waiting
to embrace final retirement,
a journey we each take alone,
as when we entered
except without Mom nearby,
or maybe this too remains the same, somehow.
Older ancient Barbie Sister
did not let go
until younger jilted Sister
quietly stopped breathing in her deep night sleep,
lost in memories not accessible by day.
Ten nights later
Barbie Sister passed out of embodied memories
in this same way.
Safe at last,
knowing it was then too late
for TD and H Uncle
to go back before that place
where they had started.
They say death comes in threes.
I wonder why.
July 25 Scripture Meditations Based on Isaiah 56-59
Key Verse – Isaiah 58:14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
MY GOD, THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME WELL
Thank You for feeding me well with spiritual delicacies
Despite sin-spoiled taste of jealousies
So that I can delight in Your Word’s policies
Really assured of Your secured salvation-mercies.
Thank You for feeding me well with healthy faith-provisions
Despite fretting-aroma of doubts’ vexations
So that I can trust in Your promises’ actions
Really guarded by Your eternal redemption-functions.
Thank You for feeding me well with divine vitamins
Despite worldly junk food promoting humanism-dins and pride-gins
So that I can ask for Your strength-packed bins
Really loaded by Your sure standard-wins.
Thank You for feeding me well with biblical supplements
Despite vain beauty and physique advertisements
So that I can enjoy Your holy principle-bestowments
Really taught by Your wise directive-endowments.
Thank You for feeding me well with heavenly fillings
Despite earthly burps of temporary satisfaction feelings
So that I can stay around Your grace-fulfillings
Really contented with Your constant goodness-fuelings.
Thank You for feeding me well with soul-nourishing meals
Despite body-building, weight-loss peals
So that I can choose Your spirit-revival deals
Really nurtured around Your bountiful plate-seals.
Thank You for feeding me well with everlasting diet-supplies
Despite scarcity and poverty crises-lies
So that I can seek Your welfare-care replies
Really treated within Your abundant benefit-slice.
July 25, 2022
Where the floor meets the wall,
She stands in her usual spot,
Craving a cigarette,
Observing, processing, psycho-analyzing,
Another Saturday night with her friends.
Their forced civilized exchange of small talk,
Boasting, intellectual competitions and back handed compliments
Vainly covers the tension of secret love triangles,
Unspoken resentments, jealousies, and
Bruised egos until the alcohol takes effect and
people start going to the bathroom in groups.
That is when someone puts on jazz album,
And suggests a game which
brings out the "realness" in everyone:
They tell stories, make confessions,
Share moments of tenderness before
Declaring war
Shattering several expensive wine glasses and
Dissolving into fits of hysterical laughter or sobbing
Until
a fight is taken outside
a couple is having sex in the basement,
and someone is vomiting in the kitchen waste basket.
Except her,
Lightly buzzed by some cheap white box wine,
She will comfort and offer sage advice to
the histrionic and the clueless
which they will soon forget or dismiss.
Refill the pretzel and chip bowels,
Break up a fight between two romantic rivals,
Pour countless whiskey shots and shake 20 mean Vodka martinis,
Nurse the drunk and clean up the mess in the kitchen.
Years from now, these alleged group of friends will
Rewrite this night filled with fun and merriment
Where the drinks, drugs and conversation flowed,
and the fire never died,
While she will accurately recall every detail and wonder
Why she allowed this group of sparkling, beautiful, broken people
To cast her as their resident
Gopher
Maid
Bartender
Unpaid therapist
Keeper of secrets
Enabler…
What was her incentive or her reward?
Beyond their peripheral acceptance.
Some lover's jealousies are such a tight squeezing embrace
that the loved one can't help feeling
coiled and embroiled
like in the grip of a loving beast or literally a bear's hug
And which makes her sigh,
why God ever chose to model her into a beauty
For the near perfection of her face and figure
highlights to him his imperfections
such that her illustrious famed facial grace
transforms him into a suspicious tamed beast!
A possessive kind of guy miner tis he
who jealously guards
this beauty secret
like upon having struck gold
and wishes to lock her up from the world
like a real-life Rapunzel's witch.
Yet as no black clouds can hide the radiant sun
her world soon comes to know
of her innocent screened charms and beauty
despite his protests and measures.
Yet in a world of unscruplous looters
this louvred love cage turns out to be that blessing in disguise
She can no longer be preyed upon by any predator guys.
Thus both lucky and unfortunate is the comely woman
But let her bloom and breathe
in love's cell or engulfing dungeon
for a free bird she was never meant to be for long.
And let her wedded man be her love's protective warden
so no body but he is lured by her look and lovesong!
She can't just forever fly and sing foot-loose and fancy-free.
A plethora of cocks out there might try to charm her
with their new feathers
serenading her with new love songs in the wind.
All she must do is
snap out from
and slip away from
their flirty fantasy.
For she can either opt out and walk out
or stay in and stay on, but not both,
for the sake of her beloved
and wise values of scruples and principles.
Love, you and I, being all love's essence, shall grow old
Older than we are
And yet never be a black hole like an old dead star
And shall invite with candlelight, you and I
The world to dinner or to tea, with some honey from the sky
And they sitting with us, sup with us
To warm their cosmic loneliness away
Love, their leaching eyes will milk us for joy
And thrill more when my stiff pen caress
With a compass of confidence, the nipple of a word on a breast of page
From this point wet with joy
They will hear you read to me, and I shall read to you
Tongue full of poems like a tender picture framed
Lisping the memories under your name
And memories of jealousies dead like Methuselah in our head
Love, perhaps you will tell the flower petal of your tears
Forgiveness no one remembers, for we have no sorrow here
They will ask us how, curious to go to bed
And we shall say that those who said they are sorry never loved
For where forgiveness comes first sorrow never blooms
And you perhaps will me again
That trust grows here, my dear, and forgiveness
Is just a little dew we use to freshen up the leaves
Then friends shall say good night in peace, and we to bed will go
Nothing between us, not even dusty spread
To shutter us from the melted night
When we shall hear the angels trumpeting our dreams
Unraveling the music that love writes into little streams
O love, sweet shall be the promise of our heart
The tender succulence of lips that fed us this repast
This voice shall wake us, and dew will touch the buttercup
And we shall say, I love you forever
Joy forever of my heart.
Transcend the world of darkness, beyond where human senses can go
perceive the existence of this reality, you would otherwise never know
waiting for you is your destiny, preordained, you alone have this control
preparations for the future, by casting off the body, elevating the soul
Transcend all physical boundaries, limitations are a figment of the mind
close your eyes and you'll see, following others is what keeps you blind
achievements are within your abilities, only others try and hold you back
hoping for you to stumble, harboring hidden jealousies, waiting to attack
Transcend the pettiness of an egotistical world, where the center of all is Me
until your life changes, until you become a giver, the truth you will never see
a world without is connected to our world within, bound by words and actions
another paradox of human existence, finding unity among conflicting factions
Transcend the selfishness of your surroundings, none of us are really fully immune
witnessing people with two faces, feigning kindness, wanting us to play their tune
surviving instability of an ever changing world, seek comfort in things of purpose
find consolation in this truth, the world is not what it appears to be on the surface
Transcend the resident evil clouding your thinking, and you'll free yourself to finally live
escaping from those pitfalls of hatred and bigotry, realizing the ultimate good is to give
now having come full circle in your life, you will understand the jewel you have found
spreading goodness to others, with an endless light of happiness, will you be crowned
I know there's no excuse,
For the way I've treated you.
All the lies and the abuse,
And the pain I put you through.
Every time I made you cry,
I was just too blind to see.
But the fact I can't deny,
You're the better part of me.
Chorus:
You're the better part of me,
In each and every way.
And all the people that we see,
Can't understand why you stay.
The simple truth can only be,
You have a heart that's just so kind.
You're the better part of me,
And I'm the one that's just so blind.
My jealousies, so insecure,
Where it comes from, I don't know.
But still you're willing to endure,
All the anger that I show.
Heaven knows why I act this way,
But no one would disagree.
So now I'm here to finally say,
You're the better part of me.
Chorus:
You're the better part of me,
In each and every way.
And all the people that we see,
Can't understand why you stay.
The simple truth can only be,
You have a heart that's just so kind.
You're the better part of me,
And I'm the one that's just so blind.
The little things you do each day,
Speaks for your love loud and clear.
The tender words I never say,
Are the things you need to hear.
I don't deserve someone like you,
But I hope you'll wait and see.
I've got to change, I know it's true,
Cause you're the better part of me.
Chorus:
You're the better part of me,
In each and every way.
And all the people that we see,
Can't understand why you stay.
The simple truth can only be,
You have a heart that's just so kind.
You're the better part of me,
And I'm the one that's just so blind.