Long Hooey Poems

"You see this here spot on the bench, where it's all worn away?" Clarence asked.
     "Yeah, I've noticed that a few times, and wondered why they didn't paint it again." I...

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ETHREE

Witch
Sneering
Bubbly
A pimply nose
To be feared by all
So Halloween friendly

More terrifying than ghosts
Placing eye of newt in cauldrons
Pure evil in our fantasy books
Horribly foul and mean in faerie tales.
A frozen heart places children in ovens

Crones of...

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As a child, I was taught that God created everything
But when I went to school,
the theory of evolution was the accepted doctrine

That kinda teaching didn't sit well with my parents,
they gathered the kids around, read...

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I may be all wet, but I sure ain't no bluenose!
And, while it's none of my beeswax,
Let's have a bull session-lesson !
Take a gander around, and tell the guy with the cheaters
I'll give him an...

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A rather dashing and exquisitely designed purple weather balloon was racing against a dark grey sofa, a beach towel, a cotton bud and a statue of king Kong the eighth. Across the beaded sky joined...

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My friend has few friends except me.
I call her twice a week, because of this.
And she is always available.
Her phone line is open.

She stands in the street and yells at speeders.
I have asked her not...

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I can’t just ignore how tight it hugs me
How it caresses through my soul
How it exposes pretence of innocence overhaul
A touch of it sending goose bumps all over me
I can’t hide anymore, from beautified macabre
Coz...

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Have you ever been hypnotized?
I was always the one they led up to the stage from the audience.
I could be so easily hypnotized it was nuts.

Infatuated by it, I took some classes 
Teaching me how...

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 One might think I've gone crazy,
Sure because I act loony.
This is far from being lazy
T'is neither piquant nor funny.
 

Why reminisce on the life of a friend?
When he is out to strife for his...

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Let's talk
On a short walk
I'm might be a super freak
But I have things to speak
I want to have a word with you
And I know that won't be enough
But you need to know my coddle thoughts
The...

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The map of my hands
Reveal many roads
Some now traveled
Some untold
I look at my hands
And wonder what's next
Will the coming road be simple
Or maybe complex
They say your hands tell a story
Of the life you are to...

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By Elton Camp

Call him yeti, bigfoot or snowman
Then seek to find him if you can

For a hulking, brutish guy
He’s extremely hard to spy

Peoples’ imaginations are pliable
Eyewitness reports are unreliable

There are photos for us to see
They’re...

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Some songs are sad songs: dum de dum dum dum.  
Others are cheerful: tra la la  la ling 
And people are the same. Some may become
A sadden lot, see gloom in everything.
And then...

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love is not a plague - punctured plumes:
hoisted hooey, disaster's hood
quack qualities dripping nectar
worn whooshes, malady's fosters

love ain't bounty bliss - Utopia:
numb nature's cloak sewn by favor
timid oak oozes pruned pleasures
sassy stream girded in leisure

lanky...

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I once had a friend named Louie
who never gave a hooey
about when he ate
as long as his mate
fixed his favorite chop suey.

Louie was married to Betty
who much preferred spaghetti
but when Louie said, "Please,
fix my favorite...

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