Long Heimlich Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Poems about Poems (I)



What the Poet Sees
by Michael R. Burch

What the poet sees,
he sees as a swimmer
~~~underwater~~~
watching the shoreline blur
sees through his breath’s weightless bubbles...
Both worlds grow obscure.



Muse/Goddess
by Michael R. Burch

“What will you conceive in...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Sweet Centerless Sixteen
by Michael R. Burch

Inconsolable as “love” had left your heart,
you woke this morning eager to pursue
warm lips again, or something “really cool”
on which to press your lips and leave their mark.

As breath upon...

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Poems about Poets



Long Division
by Michael R. Burch

for Laura Riding Jackson

All things become one
Through death’s long division
And perfect precision.



Nod to the Master
by Michael R. Burch

If every witty thing that’s said were true,
Oscar Wilde, the world would...

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Im stillen Kornfeld dort,
wo sie verborgen lag,
des Schnitters Sense,
da liegt jetzt sein Grab.
Und nur der Wind
verweht das letzte Wort,
das niemand mehr vernehmen mag.

Bezwinge deine Seele
und stiehl dich heimlich fort.
Damit nicht Angst dich quäle 
an jenem...

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She’s a switchblade, blackjack,
Knuckle-duster dame.
Got the proper block and tackle,
Lash your rigging to the frame.
She put the drill press to your taproot
And the grindstone to your saber.
Good for sharpening your senses,
Keeps you on your best...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and I was waiting for a blind date
He never showed, I decided to leave as it was getting very late
I downed my wine and quickly ate the burger left cold...

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I’m a-starting to *pavo tremble
this time of year
From all of the oven symbols
rack-et I hear

I’m a seasoned Mestizo pheasant,
best strutting actress
in the whole Oaxaca alfalfa field

But I’m beginning to feel a bite unpleasant,
putting on my...

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Twas the night before Christmas, up in the North Pole
The pressure of the season was taking its toll
Deadlines and long hours were causing some stress
“Some” might be an understatement. They were a mess

The elves were...

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Death tried to snatch my young life several years ago.
He came uninvited, and gave an ominous hello.
My husband and I were having dinner on a warm summer night,
Then something happened to give us both quite...

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Bumped into a friend
just yesterday
I was driving my car
and she got in the way

She said nothing was broken
the impact was minor
Mostly bruises and cuts
and a pretty good shiner

I took her to breakfast
and told her a...

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In times like this it’s pertinent to stroke the longest cord
for hummer is impertinent and seldom brings discord.
Each slippery politician who runs yelling, “Come on Board!”
is asking for some hummer from constituents lapboards.

He wants them...

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in a moment of true tragedy
when reaching, grasping for anything
to stop the blood from gushing 
to hold the bone so that it will not tear
permanent damage &
the first person to discover just what has happened
may...

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A Fine Way To Dine – No Reservations Needed

Death comes to all who wait
In line for hours to be seated
Eating solid food at cafe Heimlich
Can be a challenge for the living
A place of distinction for...

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A baby cries, why cause it has no voice yet;
No intellectual communication skill it…
Seems to bother us so
And the screams and hollering, woos…

Moving on
Crying long
Melancholy
Moving on
Crying so
Speak the words
You do not know
Such a mess
Has no...

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Hiding in the bushes he waits to pounce,
he enjoys Goobers and Gobstoppers, right to the very last ounce.
He might settle for a Snickers or even a Kit Kat,
he’s black, shiny and sneaky this Halloween Cat.

He...

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It was work week in boot camp. I had a bad cold.
I was working with two sailors, preparing desserts.
I ate a cherry off one dessert. 

CHERRY CHOKEHOLD

the cherry chokehold
acute asphyxiation
black curtain climax
i’m fascinated
unexpectedly unafraid

heimlich births
a...

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