Long Guffaw Poems
Long Guffaw Poems. Below are the most popular long Guffaw by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Guffaw poems by poem length and keyword.
While we sit with our coffee and poetry,
The Fear Frenzy Makers burn the midnight oil.
Digging up lies, just anything man!
To stuff up your brain like cement in a can.
They've succeeded in making you believe the
world is ending and...
That only chemicals sold by a fracture led
pharmacy nation
Will lead you to be a health sensation.
The Frenzys have determined God to be
extinct!
You can replace him with shrooms, ganja
hash or a drink?
Try Don Lemon at CNN, inhumane and so
vicious, the latest god on the street.
Worse, get your news from social media,
Driving the country nuts!
With our Congress making a new law
(I had to guffaw)!
That we don't need lawyers with integrity,
Just let mob rule take over this country.
(Oh,yes...and everything free)
The hatred of police is growing.
The rise of criminals is so revered and
spreading.
The body count of innocents is growing,
The murder of Jews is spreading.
Frenzy Feeders are nothing more Hitler
youth.
Spying and lying on Americans who
have done no harm.
Envy driven monsters...
It doesn't matter whose life they will
ruin.
We face a very formidable foe!
Big Brother is here- following you with
your cell phones everywhere.
Cameras on streets in dressing rooms.
As poets we can alert others to the
manure being peddled by fear smugglers.
Not all of us, but a few, may remind people
hard.
That God is in charge of when the world
ends not them.
Hate to tell these scientific brains, that
God created the world not them.
We cry over the extinct animals!!
But have not a thought nor remorse
to murder a baby.
66.000 babies were aborted alone last
year!
If we support murder, we have plenty
to fear.
5/8/2019
11:39 pm PST
Aah Harry ! How can we not ode a domestic cat
cousin of the great Lyrans of Cosmic Fate : leo, jaguar, panther, lynx, tiger, cheetah to name but a few — you carry their genetic makeup across dews, giving these chosen their gross due ~
geometric accurate your agility to leap onto roof
imitating their ricochets into branches rustle, to view jungle, forest or curious humans tour ogling
as you sound your mellow meows to starlings
harking —- even to crows soaring, cat darling !
across time’s hours your intuition assess a neighbour’s aches and pains, where you visit
to dish cat medicine by purring for gain, so sane
is your senses, paws not profane, making us guffaw our admiration raw —-
salute we your leadership as you hold whisker
seminars at night discussing needless cat fights check mates who are late, ruin ardent rodent runs through drains insane, shaking your
head like a lion did his m a n e !
comical beloved Harry ! how you wrinkle your nose at flavoured sardines we feed you as a treat
no way will you eat what we think of as sweet
sit you meditative at garden gate, patient for a
purr-fect date ~ she does not arrive, contrived another mate ——
care you not since sovereignty is your mark, hark
independence gains your favour to savour every
moment free — no leash for your gallant strolls
among trolls, your joy watching crawling ants
kiss-kiss as they scurry in a hurry collecting
winter stores galore for quiet insect snores
Aah Harry ! let this be one ode to you, another shall be sung, maybe scrolled, to be sold, on a
“I love my cat’s hat” mug, so snug —
sadly, you do not want my bug hug
today, you say…
as you rush into garage hay !
—————————-
Third Placement: Ode to Cat
August 26
Mr. Bean has made the world go laughing
and if laughter tis the best medicine
then Mr. Bean sure is doctor of laughter
for quite apt is he at appealing humour!
Perhaps the world's best most beloved buffoon
with antics that could beat and defeat any clown or cartoon
King of joke, king of mock
he could send you rolling with laughter
With a serious silly face he played his pranks
to send you laughing ever after.
A funny man who purposely makes slips
or amuses the audience with amusing quips
A man immune to derision and ridicule
for he deliberately prefers to be comic
Funny is to watch him break any rule
for we all know it's just an onscreen antic.
Laugh and laugh, laugh till your sides ached
but watch how he has the last laugh
This jocular chap has mastered the art of comedy
He amuses quite single-handedly without aid or staff.
So before him on your small screen
your attention span for once shan't be mean
Just prepare to broaden that jaw
you're totally free to guffaw
at this engaging man of mock
this deliberate laughing-stock!
Few have not gone into rhapsody
over this funny fellar, King of comedy
So come heal yer malady
The king of jest
Jester's truly best
(I wrote dis last yr n recently i heard n confirmd it thru google too the nice news that mr.Bean converted to Islam. Skeptics had rather doubt it yet im sure d news has some basis. If true then mr.Bean im more yer fan than eva )
Stood on the roof of the Empire State
Two American men and their new English mate
It’s true that a bourbon or two had been had
Perhaps that’s what made them all act a bit mad
The Englishman, clearly, had drunk a bit more
His friends shared a secret which made them guffaw
One asked their English friend if he had heard
That bourbon allows you to fly like a bird
The Englishman grinned. ‘I’m not falling for that,
If I tried to fly I would fall and go splat!’
So one of his mates jumped right down to the street
Bounced all the way up to land back on his feet
‘My, that’s amazing,’ the Englishman said,
‘If I had done that I would be a bit dead.’
‘Nonsense,’ the other American said,
‘If you won’t do it, I’ll do it instead.’
True to his word he jumped down to the street
Bounced all the way up to land back on his feet
The Englishmen gasped. ‘I can’t believe that
You jumped off the roof but you didn’t go splat.’
So both the Americans said he was scared
And after a while the Englishman dared
‘Okay,’ he said, ‘I think I could do that.’
He jumped and smashed into the ground with a splat
They gazed at the gory result of their plan
And Spiderman said, ‘That was mean, Superman.’
***
Secretly watching from behind a tree
He thought to himself ‘They could never kill me.’
For they hadn’t known his identity.
Or that the ‘splat’ was ground beef for his tea
He hadn’t harboured malicious intent
When he had adopted an English accent
But in their ‘day wear’ he still knew what it meant
When young Peter Parker said, ‘Meet Mr Kent.’
It was nice to see that the graveyard was stuffed
He grinned to see Spidey and Superman cuffed
Soon he'd step out for his mourners to see
For now, Batman giggled hysterically
6 September 2022
For contest: superheroes or Supervillains
Sponsor: Robert James Liguory
He foils all jokes, punchlines and jocularity
He foils all contrary philosophies in hilarity
He's sarcastic and sardonic, he's even ironic
Soon to be iconic and witted supersonic
He stands for absolute truth, this trailer trash sleuth
Rap Reynolds is his name, giving noogies is his game
This spark started in a trailer park
Conceived to be, and to leave his mark
A foiler of all who attempt comedy
And the outcome (for them) is a tragedy
All those who claim contrariness will be slain
He will counteract the bane of the vain
Spoiler alert The Foiler has come to foil the plans
Ready, aim, fire and all the funny business dying with a laugh
Oh no it seems every time an Eighties tune is played
(Within earshot) I transport instantly to that time and space
And for every knee slapper there is a counteract-er
He never went to college and he'll steal all your musical knowledge
P.S. Does he chortle and guffaw at every flaw
Is he witty and urbane towards the lines that are flubbed
Nah he just needs his tummy rubbed
And even though she is in a different dimension
He thinks a lot of Emma Bankz, she's his cardinal direction
some sunny saturday
i want us to meet halfway
drive to the coast and just cool out
want to see you smile in the moderate sunshine
want to put suntan lotion on your thighs
want to hear your unique guffaw when i tell an unfunny joke
want to be surprised when you steal a kiss
now i know you won't steal a kiss
however if you want to steal a kiss, you ain't gotta worry bout me now
I'LL TAKE IT!
okay, i am just kidding
okay, really, no i'm not
you do not have to look at me like that
you know i have been digging you since day one
every moment with you is like a house in a mode of solid quietude
i yearn for more of that....but you only see me as a friend
i respect you way too much disrespect you on any type of level
i just choose to accept your occasional 'yes' and take the fullness of it as it comes
sometimes in life, it is not always meant to be....but what it is meant to be....
God is Always In Control, so to Him i pray....for some sunny saturday....
Harsh is life’s reality.
Each trial we endure is a sword of steel
that pierces the jagged edges
of our imperfect souls.
We cannot escape
the occasional slashes from life’s rapier
that fall upon us when times are hard,
but neither can we get through life
living with sorrow and angst
without a relief valve.
Even in the midst of great tragedies,
humans have found ways
to cope with stress.
I cannot equate my own tragedies
with those endured by prisoners
of concentration camps or anybody else
enslaved by abuse or torture.
For the most of us, however,
we have the spontaneity of humor
to lessen our heavy loads:
the absurdities coming sometimes
from the mouths of children or the foolish;
the funny little blunders we see
that cause us to laugh out loud;
a beautiful day of sunshine changing
to one of rain, causing us to chuckle
for trusting the weather channel.
We can do nothing more than laugh
at things like these.
To dwell on small accidents
or on silly mishaps does nobody any good.
Don’t let life’s rapier
cut you down with despair.
Stress less; laugh more, and especially
learn to laugh at yourself.
Chortle, chuckle, cackle or guffaw,
and by no means, do not always simply smile.
Find a stand-up comedy and let yourself
fall on the sword of belly laughs,
for a good sense of humor blunts
the sharp blades of reality.
(Inveniam viam)
Far beyond these eerie things, where limits have no scales
Fish are replacing gills, with turbine aerated tails
Sea level’s losing all meaning, for the humpback whales
Ships piggyback them, harpoons syphon wind from their sails
Today I woke up early, lately I’ve let dreams flow
Into an abstract yonder, where visions often go
A wave came over me, up from my downy pillow
When tidal forces passed away, many moons ago
As the ocean waved goodbye, I called for an encore
Behaving like a poultice, the beach drew back old gore
You could’ve bowled me over, sent ripples to my core
Never again I’d sleep soundly, near this bloody shore
After a fretful lie-on, facing truths with each turn
My sundial running on empty, stars can’t always churn
Moribund in dimness, til an old spark can return
Reigniting glory days, (let supernovae burn)
Overhead the vacuum grows, just to make more space
Stretching my dysmorphia, to align with gods face
No one knows for certain, who enhanced his human race
Gave an artful hand, outsmarting evolution’s pace
As life spirals forward, in a world out of control
Entropy dismantles, stripping back our maker’s role
The poet in me keeps goofing, digging deeper holes
He’s a junkie rhymester, overdosing on this soul
So hail all billionaires, who never walk down my street
Flying above fake cripples, with power in their feet
Prodigies of bad and worse, scheming to make ends meet
Leaves an aftertaste of smugness, one that will repeat
As for those big questions, some take a straightforward twist
Two things I thought might go away, stubbornly exist
Not death or taxes, I’m already over that list
Each day I arise, how come lies and bullsh!t persist?
First there was oblivion, til I woke up and saw
Now fully awake, dead ahead looms a fatal flaw
But so long as I can dream, and able to guffaw
It only hurts when I laugh, Don’t you think? vents my jaw
By David Kavanagh
Hms
What if I interchange
my place with you tactfully
and be the interviewer ma'am,
you the nervous interviewee?
My jumbled head with statistics
from economics to weight of moon
and from Osama to Obama,
will be a blank space soon.
I will measure you inch by inch
taking a careful look at you,
suddenly without an apparent cause
let out a huge naughty guffaw.
This will make you nervous more
sweat beads appear all over face,
casually I will enjoy this,and
let my mind to start caress.
Very much enjoy change of roles
with the peoples surrounding me,
frequently I am the Boss of all
anytime can be 'he' or 'she'.
What if I want to judge this time
to get the first time judgement taste,
will you sponsor write a poem
and enter in your own contest?
=============000==============
A FAIR PAIR
Willy the worm would want to wiggle
Just a joke joining in with joyful jiggle
Gaity I guess, giving guffaw or giggle
Delighted to dig and dive down deep
Why one would wish to walk or weep
Continually checking, caution to keep
As surface security seldom seems safe
Worried to wander as a whining waif
Choices change, yet chancing to chafe
Stop being silly, Sam Snail softly said
I’m slimy and I slither slowly instead
However heavy to hold I have a head
No shame sheltering in a shiny shell
I’ll try to tempt you with tales to tell
Quiet questioning quite easy to quell
My mistake made if I’m mild or meek
Supposing no special space to speak
Being breakfast in a blackbird’s beak
None need know any new unknowns
Both born blind, bare with no bones
Grudgingly, grinds grates and groans
Great, gradually going underground
So silent, simply still sensing no sound
Finer feelings of fairness finally found
Basically being what a bare belly begs
Dripping not drowning, draining dregs
Laughing’s allowed, even lacking legs