Long Guffaw Poems

[Well, ShallowMan’s ne’er at a loss
for voicing shallow thoughts that gloss.
With trenchant wit he reaps the dross
when seeking sense in applesauce.

But to his aid flies FactoidMan
who always has a Fact at hand;
with him, who needs...

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How I Got Richer and What I Did Next



I struck a sly deal with some Wall Street investors.
I shorted 'em stocks that didn't exist!
But they got me back (those post-empty-nesters)
by making fake deals I couldn't...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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My friend told me that she said that I was a pooh pooh butt.
Who told you?
My friend said that he was talking about my mama.
Your mama is wonderful.
Is it possible they were saying something good?
I...

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I feel your anxious pivot to create
We flow the same irresolute way,
Often in raging storms
And sometimes in playful gallops
We see ahead 
That path onto the light of laughs
I am in awe of your effort to...

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Off kilter

Yup
I sobered up
despite expressing regular
(unleaded and unlettered) 
urge to shtup
expunged courtesy 
system of a down
with shuga (mush)
and everything nice.

	The following crafted some time ago,
when empty nest syndrome 
pulled me psyche taut 
analogous to an...

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all the stuff going on that motel was heating up but the locksmith didn't speak
Irish too well & besides he got drunk & robbed the wrong merry-go-round anyway...
Sigh
Banal as it might seem, it's not how...

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Elderly Driver On The Highway

This is something to raise a laugh and  a guffaw or two…
I’m pretty sure all readers here will agree with me too…

A  patrolman was holding watch over the heavy...

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Why I keep a low profile i.e. namely remain invisible

Alternately titled -
dear readers ye each saddled as exegete
to make sense little known excerpt
referencing obscure passage printed
calligraphy style groovy and neat

found scrawled in book of Matthew
which...

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The day was short and I was tall,
oops, got that backwards after my fall,
for I was mixed up and worried,  befuddled I say
on this brand new morning in the month of May.
I set out...

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(Part 2 of 4)

They Want To Defy or Re-Term It
But The Faithful Always Affirm It
In These Last Days of Attack On Truth
They Want All of Mankind To Refute

The World Wants Us To Crawl In Dirt...

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There's an old English song called  All Jolly Fellows That Follow The PLow.  The tune works fine as is for the chorus and with the verses if the tune for the 3rd and...

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[A classic example of a tale that wouldn’t 
Behave itself]

Pilchard the penguin shed icicle tears
He cries at the movies as Christmas time nears
While watching ‘The Snowman’ he claps and he cheers
But cries when the friendly...

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out there in our world
there are brilliant individuals
whose minds are incredible,
awesome & inspiring,
bearing thoughts, ideas &
theories, which many of us
wouldn’t be able to fathom
if the thinker her/himself 
sat down at our breakfast table
& spoon fed...

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I was sitting at the bar
Cursing my absence of a lucky star
It had, for me, been an awful year
When much to my surprise
In the mirror before my eyes
Was a reflection that reflected rather queer

Sitting in...

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A Sky of Water
Arabic Poem By: Falah Al-Shabender*
Traslate By
 Inaam Al-Hashimi (Gold_N_Silk)
====================

A sky of water
Doesn't blaze in a glance;
It follows us, as we head towards it, 
Fraying its essence, 
And transcending in its mysteries;
Emptiness .....

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Only when yours truly busies himself...

Feigning to emulate NON GMO
garden variety English major oh just so
ho-hum, this ousted son and cingular bro
biological byproduct of papa's yoyo

after mama taut Peppy how to grow
big and become vein,...

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With darkness scintillating in my soul,
And the seven of wands in my hold,
I take up the challenge upfront,
Paper planes ready to fold.

The sea washed away my sandcastles,
But isn’t history made of the remains?
Lies may plunge...

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One evening an old ailurophile strolled through a forest with her blackest of cats,
To brood on her once goldenrod hair and the callipygous bottom on which she once sat.

Her head hung low upon shrugged cathartic...

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'Twas an ominous moment when rode into town
To its marshal defy and outdraw and gun down
A notorious, murderous varmint named Slade 
Who had widows and orphans throughout the west made.

The next morning, as destined, they...

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(Inveniam viam)

Far beyond these eerie things, where limits have no scales
Fish are replacing gills, with turbine aerated tails 
Sea level’s losing all meaning, for the humpback whales 
Ships piggyback them, harpoons syphon wind from their...

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encapsulated within the providing of fun through ha-ha’s


if you feel that you were born with the unfortunate reality of not being able to laugh at
anything---
if you cannot find anything
humorous---
if you have
never
ever
belted back & guffawed amongst...

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Mama was going to be very busy today
(very busy cos it was Saturday)
There were jobs and work to do 
Piles of clothes and washing too
Usually she would be preoccupied
And the children will have a day...

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Well boys and girls, the staff here at Lim’rik Flats is very pleased to announce the first ever GIGGLE-OF-THE-DAY award goes to:

(insert drum roll, ticking tock, annoying quasi-music and extremely annoying pause like they do...

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Stood on the roof of the Empire State
Two American men and their new English mate
It’s true that a bourbon or two had been had
Perhaps that’s what made them all act a bit mad

The Englishman, clearly,...

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