Long Grog Poems

(A somnambulistic drama in four acts)

Actors:

Jean-Paul Marat; 
Charles Barbarou;
Charlotte Corday;
1st Philosopher;
2nd Philosopher;
The Commentator’s Voice.

Act 1. A tavern. Two philosopher sit at the table; 
Marat sits at the other, some distance away.

1st Philosopher 

…or even worse:...

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from island corner, big Antrim lad
  to Belfast city, a tiny pad
  shattered windows, tilted clocks
  Goliath had lost his socks
  gargantuan giant going mad

  Armagh apple girl, any topic
...

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‘She’s on again - the annual campin’ trip regatta,
and we’ve got ourselves together for our plans to Wonnangatta. 
The high country; you can’t beat it for the peace and quiet
unless of course some plans get...

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There's a Senior's home called the Shady Lane
    and life's curse is at an end.
Where a hundred souls are kept in line
    till Death its message sends.
They built a...

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Blossom
                                  ...

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Blossom

Just grab a seat on that stump lad, and I'll take centre stage, 
With a yarn about a small brown donk, and a lad about your age.
And thanks much for the offer, but I'll give...

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I blame me brother for the likes of this predicament,
when we pub crawled up to Bunyip, and where our night was spent.
Thank God I wasn’t in the driver’s seat, ‘cause we wouldn’t be alive, 
but...

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I’ve always been a prankster and a lover of a joke.
I love to see the puzzled look on an unsuspecting bloke,
when he looks around and lifts his hat - totally confused.
Some take a joke for...

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Five rings for fifty-one again and once more winning brings,
another pot of loser’s beer for throwing rubber rings.
That’s twenty-seven ‘freebies’ in a row, so by now it looks
like I’m the bloke who changed the record...

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The figurative nail hit on the hirsute covered head!

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy 
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer 
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the...

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There's an event in the country that few city people ever know,
It's called the Greasy Pig Competition held at the local show,
It's a novelty event put on when the riding's been all done,
A greased up...

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David Jones, the best rat catcher Shropshire has ever had
must take some criticism for young Molly turning bad.
Even though his daughter found rich co-incidentals,
no credit could be taken by rat catching Dad's credentials.

At nineteen she's...

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Candy floss, seaside rock, smoothies, and flags sporting
Union Jacks
Replace the old traditions of striped deckchairs 
And Kiss-Me-Quick hats.
Chipwicks for our salt and vinegar fries
And their pole-and-line freshly caught local Cod;
The Vintners Parrot: For thick sizzling...

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WE ARE CANADIAN, EH?

We came across the Bering Strait twelve thousand years ago. 
We didn't linger long up there – 'twas 99 below!
We wandered south while looking for a Timmy's 'round each bend,
Just something in...

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Write a limerick of your own about a Muppet. 
If you post it in a comment or in soup mail to me, 
and I find it appropriate, I'll add it on. ;-)


Sesame Street's Count von...

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I got a phone call from a mate of mine I hadn't seen for years,
and I could tell by his quivered voice that he was close to tears
so I asked Ken what is wrong then...

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Joy and I have been to Melbourne and we’re coming home at last,
From a family get together that I’m glad has come and passed,
It was good to catch up with the rellies who we haven’t...

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Sargasso
..by D Johnson
Fourteen days adrift time slowly slipped 
on the good ship Cavalier 
Becalmed, morose, no water they sipped 
drank rum to calm their fear 
The fog was thick o'er water and ship 
On the...

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Malignant gangrenous political cancer
corrupts, festers, and poisons United States,
thus opposition cannot wait,
especially since Gospel in accordance

with feeble minded Donald Trump
implemented wrought ugly trait,
particularly obliteration, sans progressive
human rights legislation

more or less pronounced positive
in every L ionized...

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JOE WHITE

Back in 1880 you will find, Joe White he was about.
The Brumby runner master mind. Of this I'll leave no doubt.
He took from Mugan station, 600 Brumbies yes my friend.
Had the best riders of...

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Back in 1880 you will find, Joe White he was about.
The brumby runner master mind. Of this I'll leave no doubt.
He took from Mugan station, 600 brumbies yes my friend.
Had the best riders of the...

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Kelly Ghosts!
         Dan Kelly lived and Steve Hart too,
          though the police thought they had fried.
  ...

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My dear little boy, I’ve a question, you see
Just what in this world do you want to be?

Mommy, I would like to be,
A little boy high on the sea. 	

In a pirate ship with adventures...

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"Paint" -Part the First-

Paint paint paint away...
Paint away this day...
Paint to paint our taint is paint...
Paint away this day...

Keep that paint away from me!
Says that Skipper to his krewe...

Why oh Captain... Why our Captain...
Should we...

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Blue was feeling melancholy and was far from feeling jolly 
by the window of his quarters on that moonlight night in May. 
The old mate was broken hearted since young Jess and he had parted:...

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