Long Gook Poems

Chief garbage taster as fifth grade Halloween gag
at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School
interestingly enough landed me a grubhub grab bag.

I rooted thru poetry anthology of mine,
and came across an unpublished poem
by one obscure poet (me),...

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Priscilla Penelope Thurston was a young Brazilian beauty with jet black eyes and amber skin that shown like a natural pearl.
You didn’t need to look real hard to know, by any measure, that Prissy was,...

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at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School

As a Halloween costume, 
one year during early grade school, 
my father got the brilliant idea 
for his sole son to be dressed 
with one of a kind getup.

Missus Shaner...

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Dad is that you?    What are you doing there in the mirror?

I am trying to shave and I don’t need any help.

Do they shave in heaven or is it just cribbage and...

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Chief egalitarian garbage taster i.e. “white trash”

As Halloween costume, 
one year during early grade school, 
my father got brilliant idea 
for sole son dressed
uniquely rubbish qua 
putrid offal getup. 

Missus Shaner (talon clawed, 
shriveled relic...

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The Ever Shifting Pattern of Life by
Terence David Cooper. June is wife's
name and they are Basildon,  Essex, 
England.

As children we learn lessons clear
Broadly defined lines we hold so dear
Constants to which we can easily...

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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

My humblest apology if the following account
doth gross thee out forlorn childhood of mine 
found further ostracization of me tantamount
being shipped off to  a...

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Everyone nose, I haint no otolaryngologist

Nonetheless this bard arse feels gratitude
courtesy Laurence V. Cramer, D.O.
without cerumen eye zing
May 17th, 2022 'ere
and thank dog guardian angels,
who find me continually blessed
regarding audiological sense to hear,
whereby faculty sound...

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Morbid fascination (mine) as covid-19 pandemic...
foments rampant monopoly on bedlam

Wreaking ball (his stick) havoc (think ostensible
civil war scale not seen since Vietnam),
whereby microorganisms jamb
Homo sapiens immunity system
complements of gook
resembling green eggs and ham
necessitating Doctor Seuss

to...

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slipping sideways
cant think straight
blind date confiscated
see through side view
in the trees 
the whispering breeze
thoughts slipping away this way

The morning the rooster screams us awake
cant speak my language
new wave gobblede gook
you will never see through
just hope...

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Alternately titled: Get out of my head mister chatterbox!

While inside me noggin legions
of monstrous demons abhor
protest being force fed
arcane and obscure
assaying into religious dogma
hence mind chatter goes full bore
thus crafting poem quite a difficult chore,
one...

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Get out of my head mister chatterbox!

Ransacking treasure trove 
of maximum headroom.

To remedy a fate worse than death
or orange hair oaf becoming 
forty seventh president
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight...

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Four Letters Spelling Blah...

generally define mine anatomical phooey zook
corporeal status, essentially feeling like gook,
not my usual babbling brook
self, thus finds yours truly whooshing, he
could wave a magic wand (all thee
while exjaculating abra
cud dab bra, or...

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Four Letters Spelling Blah...

generally define mine anatomical phooey zook
corporeal status, essentially feeling like gook,
not my usual babbling brook
self, thus finds yours truly whooshing, he
could wave a magic wand (all thee
while exjaculating abra
cud dab bra, or...

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(sung – in a round pussy willow warble - to the tune of -- 
Oh Where Oh Where has my little dog gone)

With a flam boy hunt deft jais nais sais quois 
firm lickey split...

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Since youth, I've been a big foodie; every goodie I've tried, even sushi.
At 18, I traveled abroad, first to France; Thank heavens I didn't try frog!
I got to try crepes (sweet filled envelop shapes) and...

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Get Out Of My Head Mister Chatterbox!

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" sexual exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,

boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near...

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Isn't life funny?
  You spend hours and hours writing and revising
  re-revising and rewriting
  and then starting almost from scratch again
  making sure each line sounds right
  each and every...

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Here’s a bunch of Gobble-de-Gook
There is no sense or reason
I just threw together some stuff I read
Which constitutes poetic treason!

Here’s a fact about knowledge and wisdom
A fact which I know is valid
Knowledge is knowing a...

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VENTRILOQUIST    POETRY

Ventriloquists can drink gottles of geer
Gut their skeech is odd  to our ear:
They can’t say   Keter Kiker kicked 
A keck of kickled kekkers  -  they’re ...

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A Redneck Visits the Eiffel Tower

By Elton Camp

I hadn’t never been over to that Paris before
And I shore don’t care to go there no more
Most of those folks look like some sorta kook
And they all...

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Long prior - I took to the wheel 
On a day, fairly, surreal
Amid one of my visits back home
I went to see, tailgating, all alone
My boyhood city. A city on its knees  
I began...

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Snipes are a kind of bird, difficult to spot
because they’re quiet  and they hide a lot –
a kind of cross ‘twixt stool pigeon and an owl,
it is a bird that deserves to be called...

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When I was young and had zero dollars to spend
Grandpa's skiff with succulent mangoes I loved to tend
With view of City canal, flowing not far from home
Near thoroughfare with perfect patrons; few not so grown
Not...

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For those of us whose lives are nearly complete
  Who can recall life before computer spreadsheets
I'd like to point out a most marvelous technical feat
  Which is, of course, the cool little button...

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