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Chief Egalitarian Garbage Taster Ie White Trash

Chief egalitarian garbage taster i.e. “white trash”

As Halloween costume, 
one year during early grade school, 
my father got brilliant idea 
for sole son dressed
uniquely rubbish qua 
putrid offal getup. 

Missus Shaner (talon clawed, 
shriveled relic archaeopteryx dinosaur, 
who taught fifth grade) gave 
me first prize, and subsequently 
felt so convinced about authenticity 

of this kid being “white 
trash”, she notified another 
classmate dressed as janitor 
to dispense me in school dumpster. 

The receptacle sanitation 
disposal company bequeathed 
altruistic dumpster vis a vis 
to dive amidst maggoty muck 

(in addition to real rubbish 
in dumpster) nearest landfill 
loaded with all kinds 
of junk, viz food scraps, 
recyclables, and soiled diapers. 

Over short span of time, 
detritus commingled into 
one brew of despicable, 
fly haven, jiggling lifelike, 
nursing putrescence re: teeming 

vibrantly, mark kid lee, 
noisomely... with yum zuck 
for swamp thing, I seemed 
metamorphosing into 
by cruel hoax. 

Nothing prepared, neither sickened 
nor violated senses of smell, 
sight, taste, and touch to 
maximum factor tolerated 
of each odious blast, each 

pestilential assault issued an 
appalling refrain sans: 
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than 
the Driver of the Screw 
and Whipping Cords Will 

Serve You More than Ropes 
Will Ever Do, before mine 
myopic bespectacled eyes 
(smarting from constant comet 
drubbing irritants (which 

glasses kiddie bifocals caked 
with smudge good as naught), 
stayed shut while inundation 
of corrosive gaseous shaped 
oxbow wreath wisps. 

Liberty vis a vis in sight envisioned 
visibly threatened offshoots 
of tendril spikes; snaking sneakily, 
sordidly slithering silently, 
yet straightaway as a scene from 
some spooky sideshow, 
or “haunted house”. 

This ugly slop 
splashed upon mine formerly 
pristine academic uniform 
appeared near identical to 
l grubby, crabby, arguably 

meanest lunch lady 
served i.e. via lob stirring) 
splattered sundry speckles
sundry detritus found me 
writhing with nausea. 

Thee nasty muck and mire found 
formerly introverted boy 
transformed into sponge bobbing 
squarely panting creature 

from the black lagoon, whose 
sea legs set sought semi-
solid stated surface to stand 
upright amidst variegated 
flotsam and jetsam. 

Dishabille appearance acquired 
fresh splattered coat of rancid 
slimy ham and bacon 
covered arms (among other 
pieces of moldy clothes, 

food and iconic library oddment 
ricocheting unpredictably 
as trash truck violently 
shook up and down all 
night long en route on 

highway to hell to Moyer’s 
Dump, which toxic brew 
would be declared Superfund
Site and shuttered 
in near future. 

Once Robert 
Hall wardrobe affixed with 
capital one fancy feast of 
grateful dead roadkill, 
kickstarter from some automotive 

contraption, and plenti of 
fish heads (with square 
pants trimmed with 
lovely bones), I felt 
indistinguishable from regular 
riffraff riding shotgun. 

When trucker parked and stopped 
awful bin laden made ready to 
empty contents within mountain 
of olfactory noxious material. 

A thought occurred, now might be 
golden, (or rather gook steeped) 
opportunity to extricate 
myself from morass of 
mish mashed, linkedin kind
dulled juggernaut, icky 
first class bric a brac.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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