Get Your Premium Membership

Reflections of Cold Wars

Dad is that you? What are you doing there in the mirror? I am trying to shave and I don’t need any help. Do they shave in heaven or is it just cribbage and puzzles? Do you like it there? Does it matter? Yes of course it does. As long as you feel better that’s all that matters.
*
Inside the monkey smiles and knows you want it to be better you don’t to have to sweat it. The guilt would kill you. After everything he did for you…….. Shutting down your dreams of college and trying to force you into the military . Making sure you never had enough money to get out of the hood and for Christ’s sake take care of your sister’s virginity. I survived only to look and be just like him.
*
And now what are you going to do? Dig the same hole. To late some ******* out on the peninsula has already started. He claims it cures cancer. All I know it that he stands in it for hours without moving and chants some mumbo jumbo. Too many years in special ops with the Air Cav can cause that to happen to a man. Hot LZ’s and medevac’s can make a man plum crazy- the things he sees.
*
They are everywhere and nowhere. Kill them all and let God sort them out was my mantra. If it can’t shoot and it ain’t breathing then it can’t hurt me. Stay low and keep moving cause if you stand still you become a target and if you get hit you become as statistic on a chart going round the world while they zip you up in body bag. And for what the CBS evening news with Dan Rather? Was it worth it; is it ever worth it to save freedom? What are we saving it from? Common belief would have us think that within every gook there was an American dying to get out. That ain’t the truth. For every gook there was a man and wife and a family and at the least they wanted peace. The question is who didn’t want peace? Was it the war machine in America? The Soviets do not want Americas to have a foothold in their territory. Is the domino theory still in effect or are there men that just never forget? I think when it comes to safety money wins out every time.
*
Wars leave people lonely; waiting and wondering what happened to the people they love. Some times they find each other and share the pure joy that only a human can fathom. Other times it never comes when we are left to wonder why we lost someone in the first World War. He was young and full of spirit. The old men egged him on trying to remember if they were peeling potatoes or sitting in a forward area shooting at Germans.
*
The cicada’s are out tonight and they are busting my balls. I can’t get that noise out of my head. I saw my head Doc today and they did an CAT scan but from preliminary sources it appears to be A OK. I don’t care what they say I still hear the Cicada’s and they aren’t waiting around for the next 17-year cycle. They are here now and they are in my head. No amount of drugs or alcohol seems to be able to drive them away. My Doctor chalks it up to my rock-roll-days and basically says that I am all but screwed and will never get better. I guess he's betting the odds that I will be dead before they find a fix. I am good with that. I am always up for a good wager. One day he will hear the choppers. And as old Willie Nelson once said, “There’s more old drunk’s than there are all doctors so I guess I will have another beer.” But if this buzzing doesn’t stop there’s going to be a momma with one less cowboy to have to have worry about. War kills people in the strangest and most mysterious ways.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 10/22/2013 11:17:00 AM
I saw this on the 'Featured Poem of the Week' (last week). Congrats.. A little recognition can be nice sometimes. . Thanks for commenting on 'The Moon Only Cries' again. I'm still wondering where I came up with that. :)
Login to Reply
Date: 10/19/2013 11:48:00 PM
Hello Stephen, ... CONGRATULATIONS:) on having your poem featured on the soups HOME PAGE. Goodnight poet friend <3 =)LINDA
Login to Reply
Date: 8/24/2013 7:23:00 PM
I've read this several times. There must have been a number of things going on in your mind to have written this. "But if this buzzing doesn’t stop there’s going to be a momma with one less cowboy to have to have worry about. War kills people in the strangest and most mysterious ways." ... There's the wars that are fought in other countries and wars that we fight within ourselves.
Login to Reply
Kilmer Avatar
Stephen Kilmer
Date: 8/24/2013 10:54:00 PM
Most wars leave a lot of walking wounded. More deaths from suicide than actual combat deaths. So yes there is also an inner war that is being fought constantly. Kilmer
Date: 8/5/2013 7:39:00 AM
Dear Stephen - Holy moley these get right to the gut. My favorites are the first about the (your) dad and the last. "Cicadas in the head" What a hell is war, yet I only understand as a watcher and hearer of tales or misser of the dead or the living dead. This chills the heart and makes me so want to soothe. Not possible it is said. Is this poetry based on you? It seems sadly personal. love, Kathy
Login to Reply
Kilmer Avatar
Stephen Kilmer
Date: 8/5/2013 8:51:00 AM
Some of it on me and most of it on friends I new in the military. I never saw combat but I saw some of the results. Also my father spent 20 years in the military and 2 years in Nam. He was never the same after that. Kilmer
Date: 8/4/2013 4:23:00 PM
What a narration! I've written a couple of poems about wars, but wow. This is immensely deep here. It seems you have or someone close to you have experienced it yourself. War leaves people lonely...even people that haven't fought in them. It's a universal grief really. It was a nice reflective read. THanks. Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Kilmer Avatar
Stephen Kilmer
Date: 8/4/2013 4:28:00 PM
I never experienced it but I had a lot of close friends that did and or course my father who spent 20 years in the military. Their stories when they tell them are chilling. I have a great respect for all Vets. Kilmer

Book: Shattered Sighs