Long Gert Poems
Long Gert Poems. Below are the most popular long Gert by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Gert poems by poem length and keyword.
Miniscule male member doth bend sinister
impossible mission of mine to bare witness
whereby mine (whore rubble) puny phallic
describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first observed by the missus when
we consummated intercourse, though nicht
married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both
of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the
leap day, which arose because planet Earth
doth circle around the sun within 365 days,
5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds
to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA,
and while that calculation (rounded down
established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the
16th century, when he proposed heliocentric
model - quite controversial to the church ladies -
upending geocentric theory placing the Sun
at the center of the solar system, with Earth
orbiting around it; his theory was detailed
in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium
Coelestium" published in 1543) to three
hundred and sixty five days, we - twenty
first century *****sapiens, recognize as
a typical year, those nearly 6 extra hours
do not conveniently disappear bitta bing
bitta bitta bang: I recognize omission of
most chitty word choice, but latched on
to a song which shares the same name
as the movie, a 1968 children's musical
adventure film directed by Ken Hughes
and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (not
necessarily the guy kids wanna blame for
their favorite vegetable) starring Dick Van
Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries,
Gert Fröbe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill,
James Robertson Justice, Robert Helpmann,
Heather Ripley and Adrian Hall driving the
innovative idea (credited to Julius Caesar,
who introduced it as part of Julian calendar,
adding another extra day every four years
to more accurately align the calendar after
segueing into the Gregorian calendar, a solar
calendar used in most parts of the world today
based on the Earth's revolution around the sun
and named after Pope Gregory XIII introduced
in 1582) with the solar year; essentially
making him the "inventor" of the leap year
added to account for the difference.
(I'm really sorry if I left your name off, but I tried to do
all the premium members I could imagine plus the
non-premiums with whom I regularly communicate.
If you are not here, I'm just not seeing you around!)
Adeleke and Amy, Andrew, Audrey, Barbara, Brian, Carol, Caroline, Carolyn,
Carrie,
Caryl, Catie, Cecil, Celene, Charles, Connie, Constance, Chris, Dane Ann,
Daniel, Danielle, Daver, David, Deb, Diamond, Doris, Dr. Ram, Highlander,
Elaine, Emily, Faleshia, Farah, Francine, Frank, Gareth, Gerard, Gert, Grace, Joyce,
H.G. Iolanda, Irma, James, Janette, Jared, Jerri, Jessica, Jimmy, Joe, John, john, Joseph,
Karen, Karla, Katherine, Kimberly, Kristen, Larry, Laura, Linda, Lynette, Mac, Margaret,
Marie, Matthew, Max, Michael, Mitch, Moonbee, Nathan, Nick, Nikko, Paula,
P.D., Phyllis, Ralph, Raul, Ravindra, Rhoda, Robb, Robert, Rueben, Samir, Sara
Sean, Sheol, Sharon, Stephanie, Tavarus, Tim, Tirzah, Travis, Virginia, and Wilma
are poets looking great
forward and
- backward -
and forward
great looking poets are
Wilma and Virginia, Travis, Tirzah, Tim, Tavarus, Stephanie, Sharon, Sheol, Sean,
Sara, Samir, Rueben, Robert, Robb, Rhoda, Ravindra, Raul, Ralph, Phyllis, P.D,
Paula, Nikko, Nick, Nathan, Moonbee, Mitch, Michael, Max, Matthew, Marie,
Margaret, Mac, Llynette, Linda, Laura, larry, Kristen, Kimberly, Katherine, Karla, Karen,
Joseph, john, John, Joe, Jimmy, Jessica, Jerri, Jared, Janette, James, Irma, Iolanda, H.G,
Joyce, Grace, Gert, Gerard, Gareth, Frank, Francine, Farah, Faleshia, Emily, Elaine,
Highlander, Dr. Ram, Doris, Diamond, Deb, David, Daver, Danielle, Daniel,
Dane Ann, Chris, Constance, Connie, Charles, Celene, Cecil, Catie, Caryl,
Carrie, Carolyn, Caroline, Carol, Brian, Barbara, Audrey, Andrew, Amy and
Adeleke
For The Palindrome Contest: Sponsored by Jared Pickett
So my friend said his sister was saying her vows
In a low key church ceremony three weeks from now
No parties, no showers, no flowers, no muss
But I thought to myself she deserved a small fuss!
So I planned a surprise that would redden her face
A Bachelorette Party so hot and debase
She would never forget for the rest of her days
That wee bit of naughty before strict married ways.
I invited her over to casually dine
And not knowing her friends, I invited all mine.
I decorated the place with men's private parts
And hired a stripper from "Bachelor of Darts."
She arrived right on time, a quarter past seven
And I found my friend's sis was a slice out of heaven
And that description is not the slightest bit shabby
As his "sister" was a nun from the neighborhood abbey!
I welcomed her whilst I was gesturing frantically
For my friends to hide all that would shame me gigantically
And to their credit they did, even cancelled the stripper
And we dined and chatted til I was feeling quite chipper
We finished the meal, and I went to the loo
When suddenly a scream went up from my crew
I ran to see sister slumped, white as a ghost
And a room full of people hysterical almost
There in front of the nun sat the special dessert
I had ordered before meeting the sweet Sister Gert
It was fully erect, took a long time to make
And for the first time I found myself regretting cake!!!
8/7/2016
For contest "Regretting Cake"
Finalized 8/14/2016
Now for "Take the Dagger from my heart, Please"
*Paghuli ng Bulalakaw*
Minsan ako'y nakahuli ng isang bulalakaw,
at sa aking mga kamay inilagay
Ako'y lubhang napaso, nasaktan ng lubusan
kaya't aking itong pinakawalan...
Isang gabi, natanaw ko ang isang tala
na nagliyab sa himpapawirin
Akin lamang tinignan, at aking pinagmithian
Wari ko'y ngayon, tama ang aking ginawa.
July 23, 2010
*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* *
*
*Catching Falling Stars*
Once I caught a falling star
and cupped it in my hand...
It burned me so, it hurt me so
that I just had to let it go
Then one night, I saw a star
that blazed across the sky...
I looked at it, just wished upon it
and I knew that this time, I did right.
May 28, 2002
***********
Oddly enough I haven't really written any poems in
my native tongue, tsk tsk shame on me!!
(I've only written only ONE, wow)
& it's taking me forever to translate it to English
so, I decided to go about it the other way around
and translate an old poem of mine instead, & here
it is! My Filipino translation though is sort of rusty when
it comes to the flow of the poem (but hmm I guess
only those who know how to speak Tagalog would see that ^_~)
it's fun though so I just might try to write more translations!
Gert sure makes this look sooo easy!! ;)
Did you ever have the feeling there's a man in your can?
Or a ball down the hall with an eye to spy?
Sometimes I'm sure I have ants on a tour of my house without cure.
And sometimes I know there's a pup in my cup, yelling "Hey, what's up!"
And that white ram in the door jam well, he's on the lam.
That's the kind of paranoia I live with each day.
I admit I'm delusional in a big way!
Some visitors are quite friendly like the girl with a curl under my bed with Earle.
But Bower in the shower, well he sings for hours!
And the lady named Sadie why she is quite shady!
I like Randy. He always has candy.
But the man looking at me in the TV, him I wish I couldn't see.
All the brunettes in the cabinets, they love to dance about.
But that meanie named Bellini, him I could do without!
The cat in my hat I don't like at all.
And I get quite nervous when Saul runs down the hall.
The bears on the stairs taunt me without a sound.
And so do the others who like to hang around.
Like Bert, and Mert, and Kurt, and Gert who live inside my shirt.
I don't care if you don't believe it, find me my straitjacket. I'll never leave it!
*Based on the book, There's a Wocket in My Pocket
for Dr. Seuss Theme and Form contest (Joann Grisetti)
Seventh Place
If I had known Gert had cancer I might have backed off.
No, you wouldn’t have.
How do you know?
I know you.
But if I had known it was the last time I would see her.
I might have…..
Her voice trails off.
She catches herself in her own lie.
She feels badly now.
There was no reason to act the way she had.
Maybe she will do better next time.
There is no time left now.
She picks up the phone.
To call her other sister.
To ask about the arrangements
Wishing she could call Gert’s children
But not feeling she should dare.
If I had known Gert had cancer I might have backed off.
No, you wouldn’t have.
How do you know?
I know you.
But if I had known it was the last time I would see her.
I might have…..
Her voice trails off.
She catches herself in her own lie.
She feels badly now.
There was no reason to act the way she had.
Maybe she will do better next time.
There is no time left now.
She picks up the phone.
To call her other sister.
To ask about the arrangements
Wishing she could call Gert’s children
But not feeling she should dare.
Jose, Harvey, Irma, Gert,
Cat. Five puts us on alert.
Howsoever they are named,
Mother's fury can't be tamed.
Churning, roiling, liquid wall,
looming four-plus metres tall.
Floods of biblical expanse,
survival just happenstance.
Wind whipped into lethal squall,
hammers those trapped in its thrall.
Sturdy palm trees battered flat,
Man and beast lost habitat.
Follow devastation's trail,
turmoil on a global scale.
Home and business torn apart,
plucking at strings of the heart.
Lacking basic requisites,
in amongst the detritus.
Mourning all that has been lost,
how begin to count the cost?
Thank the selfless volunteers,
who assist their stalwart peers.
Former tropic paradise,
scene of noble sacrifice.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
11 September 2017
My thoughts and best wishes go out to all those affected by the catastrophic weather in the Caribbean and the United States.
For the "Hurricanes" contest, sponsored by Julie Rodeheaver.
(5th Place)
We ten stood behind Marvel, holding on to each other.
Not sure what was going to happen. Afraid of the wrath of our brother.
She is the oldest girl in the family, and our cousin to boot.
She likes to smoke a cigar, play with guns, and yell things like “shoot!”
The rest of us sisters and cousins wanted to back her play.
We knew what she had been scheming and planning today.
I am going to wear pants to the family reunion, she said.
Oh no Marvel! Some of us yelled. You might end up dead!
We have to support her, cousin Lou insisted, and in a big way.
We discussed wearing pants – all of us, on this fateful day.
But most of us were fearful of the wrath of God and so….
We held on to Marvel, as she strutted about with her inner glow.
Marvel is the bravest of the brave, we all thought, giggling.
Some of were avoiding eye contact as the rest were sniggling.
Why don’t you all come out in pants? Uncle Jake gave a yell.
Because then, said Grandma Gert “They would all go to hell.”
I
If one evangelizes for God, caution
Must never be thrown to the wind
In (mission) field, social science education
As anthropology says, learn, be kind:
Slow to judge, eager to understand
Many spirits roam each people & land
II
I helped a grandmother escape a lover
Long dead, but haunted her home, bed,
Every lover she had, from age 40, widowed
That young, robbed of any joy, but Jesus
How does one from America fight dead
And jealous but dead lovers, causing chaos?
But on one's knees: Jesus, thy Holy Spirit
Will boot out every foul spirit
Hanging on to this lady, even to her church:
In South Africa. 'traditional healers' (Iniquity)
And a Constitution permits sangoma witchdoctors -
Fought on my knees, I begged Trinity for favor
For safety, and power in prayer, the Blood
Of Jesus, pleaded, as in Egypt pre- Exodus
Gave Mrs. Gert the freedom she'd long lost
Yet having to leave that church where she and
Gerald had worshipped - he, merely, secondhand
We are trying to one up each other as usual – another story teller and I.
Our stories are getting wilder, less plausible, and we are laughing.
Suddenly I remember my pal Gertrude’s story.
I am pretty sure it was a lie, but it made a terrific story.
Gert was married to a man who was a rounder.
He started going out on Saturday nights, all slicked up and handsome.
He did not take her.
Refused actually.
About six months later her friends said he was getting married.
They had been invited to his wedding – next Saturday.
On Saturday he dressed especially nice with a boutonniere.
Gert said “You look good enough to get married.”
She said he did not even blink.
He did get married to the other woman, illegally.
I have no idea if the other woman knew he was already married or not.
Let’s see you top this story, I thought
There was silence.
Then we both burst out laughing.