Long Flub Poems

Introduction: once again I incorporate 
my trademark penchant 
to fabricate fictitiously
portions of the following poetic endeavor
can you care to 
discern fact from fiction?

Attempts at lifelong friendships and holy matrimony...

Shot thru with figuratively cankerous nub,
cuz yours...

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I relished being hungry for Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast, 
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly able, eager, and ready
to soak my ego freezing carcass in...

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Within my quasi moat toad lily padded immediate environs

Meaning the corporeal complex edifice
housing these lovely bones, 
where linkedin logorrhea ably
strives to break out 
in meaningless song 
yobble hum hum diddle dee dee
and dance courtesy 
an...

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I relished being hungry for leftover Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

(a poetic partial fiction 
blended, diced, fricaseed, 
marinated, mixed, pureed, sautéed, 
stewed... with fact)

Hmm... on second thought
lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protrudes taut and...

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Come sit and I will serenade
A sad, colossal flub,
A tale about a marinade.
(Well, truthfully a rub)

It is a long and sordid tale;
Not sure where to begin.
My sensibilities assailed,
Yet I must jump on in.

The task at...

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(alternately titled: impossible mission goes awry
probably mortal enemy cast spell binding jinx)

Both mental versus
physical tasks necessitate
laser sharp attentiveness
triggered within blinks
similarly on par when people toast
momentary instance utter silence

before more'n one
wine glass simultaneously clinks
cheering hurray, especially
if...

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The Labradoodle

It’s clear that the scamp is a Poodle
By its frolicsome dabble and doodle
But add a big part
Of the Labrador’s heart
And you’ve got the whole kit and caboodle

The Labrador Retriever (Lab)

The Lab a friend gave...

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Hmm... on second thought
lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protrudes taut and visible
doubling as drum to drub
synchronized within heart of darkness,
especially when electrocardiogram exhibits
absolute zero vital sign,
cardiac arrest translates
as cessation to lub dub,
hence yours truly

declared...

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To be sung to the tune of Subterranean Homesick Blues.

Davy’s in the basement
Working on geometry
You’ll see my intent
A theorem in development
Presh is on the website 
Hit pause, scratch head
Trick problem, misled 
Try another approach instead
Look...

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Is your mind in the gutter,
full of what you shouldn't utter?
  Or perhaps it's your conscience
  which eats you alive with slanderous nonsense--
  about your ex, matters of sex, or your neighbor's...

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Now, ol’ Twister Tom he was quite a cowboy find—
A real rock hard cowpoke, though the question begged—
Some say that he was a legend in his own mind,
He’d a been six foot six if he...

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We were happy as could be
We were so great, we were as one
then something happened and changed all for me
that moment was frightful and gone was the sun.

He came to me a dark night at...

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It's the summer, and it's time
to take the train to old Saint Ives
and visit my Aunt Clementine
who lives alone by an old salt mine.  

Aunt Clementine, she likes to dine
on mac and cheese at...

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self to expound,
whereby scrawling how painful
     eye experience,
     where 21st century
     urban jungle doth abound
     to exacerbate anxiety and...

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I do not need a cup of tea.
I do not need you're sympathy.
I don't need you to be obtuse.
I just need a cup of Seuss.

The nib, the nub the flub a dub.
A ring of truth...

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Regina city councillors under fire
For ad campaign’s not looked at prior
How someone did not think to inquire
Check the news if you think me a liar

This province had some odd news breaks
Like the Tim Hortons with...

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Deep devious thought is requireD
On writing an acrostic of twO!
Under such circumstances yoU
Best take great care not to fluB
Lines or fail to follow a logicaL
Evaluation. Doubtless you’ll believE

All I say, should you try to write...

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I went walking the footpath between life and death.
It was there I first discerned the strum of a harp.
I hastened my step, tracing wooded trail with stealth`
as the resonant resplendent tones grew clear and sharp....

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This season has been a great big flub.
Their tickets are harder to sell on Stub Hub.
The play from this team appears inherently weak.
It looks like the end of their five season division streak.
They appear to...

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I took a little time tonight
To look back on the poems I write
Just to check and see if there
Were any improvement in my fare

On some of them I cried once more
On some of them, how...

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To see, or not to see, that, too, is the question:
Whether ’tis happier to hail heartless happenstance
With resigned reality, or designed denial,
Twice succored by seductive self-hypnosis—ay, there’s the flub!
For what follies would such fogged perceptions...

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