Long Distrusted Poems
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I've been transformed by willingness, and a desire
to move forward without keeping sad things in mind.
Confident to smile with surprise and allowing love to flow in;
faces don't avoid my glances that were unfriendly and sullen.
Something that happens unexpectadly can give someone an unusual thrill;
I distrusted people who were different from me...having no character, no will.
Followed by my shadow, fear captured me to create unnecessary fright;
my room became my habitat and escape from a society claiming their plight.
With no friends to meet at cafes and local restaurants, I closed my windows,
prohibiting a glint of sunshine...assuming it wasn't meant for me, but for others.
Glued to a wide screen, watching documentaries of tragedies and unaviodable fates;
empathizing with them, and yet convinced that I shouldn't have been grabbing at straws.
Hackneyed words came out of my mouth, a habitue' of negative and dubitable thoughts;
and filled with their drudgery,I stopped listening to positive folks, thus, doubling my loads.
How can one be transformed by willingness? Discard the habits that amount to nothing;
find the source of your uselessness, and be inspired by all who have achieved their goal.
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
Virtual Reality
At Altimira Cave
Centuries pass, in what would be Spain,
While the snows fell and fell
They painted their walls,
Making their mark,
Calling down the magic of the image
To control the beasts whose flesh, bone and hide
Made possible their desperate lives
Imitating the terrible, beautiful world
Their minds came awake in,
Put them on their walls, said their prayers and hoped
For more days to dawn for they and theirs.
Then, suddenly
- Just a little while back-
The weather warmed
The caves were left
Crops were grown
Cities brought to birth
Religion organized
Then more organized
Until Faith itself became a
Science
The book of Nature translated and read
Her every secret exposed, exploited
Until wonders were commonplace,
And the commonplace was elevated to wonder
By new magicians
By popular request
Relieving the dull ache that remained
After we pulled the sense of Majesty out of the caves, out of our distrusted, Protesting hearts.
So here we find ourselves
Sitting in our personal caves
Awaiting magic from the flashing cathode boxes
Hoping someone will keep making dreams for us
To control what's outside
By imitating it inside
With our fondest desires.
Pray to the Electric Wall, Ye Faithful!
Pray for beauty, pain, rage, seduction, sedition;
For gods, for whores, for profit, penance
- All the things the real world holds,
But only our lunatics embrace.
Everyone knows it's better to reflect the world to ourselves,
Dress it up as we like;
With the ever-present option to switch channels
Rather than face it, cold and naked;
And call things by their own true names.
Some of us are tiring of the dream wall, all the same.
Some of us like things cold and naked.
Some of us will always venture out of the cave.
Some of us know the true names.
We teach our children the difference between Real
And pictures of the Real.
We teach our children to paint their beasts on the walls
- Sometimes -
And how to call them by their real names
And how to kill them with their real spears.
Come join the children outside the cave;
The little ones who know.
You'll find the snow's not really so deep,
And under it
There's real grass, real stone, real fire, real hope.
Tossed out into the deep end,
Well, at least I’ll make a splash.
My life passes before me,
Birth to death in one quick flash.
To float is not an option.
There is only sink or swim.
As the water drags me down
I look up and I see Him…
“Take my hand and do not doubt.
Do not fear, no need to shout.
There is wind and there are waves…
Take the hand of He Who saves!”
In following the pathway,
Well, I stumbled and I fell.
I feared and I distrusted
So, I went down in the swells.
I questioned all my answers
And then, to my great surprise,
A hint of understanding
As I searched and caught His eyes…
“Take my hand and do not doubt.
Do not fear, no need to shout.
There is wind and there are waves…
Take the hand of He Who saves!”
No doubt there will be mocking
From all those who will not see.
And derisive ridicule
From those who would envy me.
Don’t make me your example.
I still don’t know how to swim…
But I can tread the waters
Just by reaching out to Him…
“Take my hand and do not doubt.
Do not fear, no need to shout.
There is wind and there are waves…
Take the hand of He Who saves!”
I found a haven from a home
Where the ever changing battles
I could not win
In a group of amazing people
That just so happened
Belonged to a church
They never judged or
Made me feel less because
My clothes didn't come from the Gap
Soon enough I realized that this group was special
When church after church turned their backs in disdain
My car was rusted
My dress threadbare
My mother crazy
My offering not enough
As I grew older I stayed away
From a religion that embodied hypocrisy
How I abhor deceit
My faith I still held even though
I distrusted the institution that taught me
I felt in my heart that there must be some truth
In the love Jesus spoke of
With much conviction
I sometimes wondered if we read the same bible?
Did they read how he washed the feet of Mary Magdalene?
Many years it would be
Till like a thunderbolt I woke up and
Saw the truth that had always been there
We are all connected every person, animal, tree, mountain
And all the beautiful flowers
There's a rhythm and balance that can be found in nature
We somehow lost while building nations
We should love and care for one another
Not because we're told
Because we want to
Understand we must stop warring
And destroying this planet
Because who's being destroyed is
Us
Live in every moment
Feel all your feelings
Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow is not certain
This is my truth it may not be yours
I will respect what you believe
Please all I ask is the same
01/06/2021
My Spiritual Journey Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Unseeking Seeker
This universal question
we unitingly share
about "God"
Whether I believe,
or not
Inviting some binary answer,
HopeFull or DespairEmpty
Yes or No, and not maybe,
True or False, and not sometimes agnostic ambivalence
Yet, integrity's dipolar co-arising equivalence?
Could also become a healthier question
about intuitive reception
of co-empathically felt peak spirited nature
Sacred passion
and organic pleasure
peace-filling trust experiences
Not restricted to cognitive perception,
verbal reflection
on co-passionately non-violent communication
Through verbally mindful words
about nonverbally grace-filled ways.
Perhaps "God" is an English-Christian proper noun,
for a multiculturally transformative verb
A religiously constructed map
exploring multigenerationally trusted
multicultural experiences
of safe and healthy sacred territory
Pointing to a deeper question
about organically spirited trust
and dispirited distrust
and in-between unspirited denatured mistrust
underlying peak co-empathic relationships
of sacredly organic hypostatic unions
opposing neurosystemic trauma histories
Mysteries conjoining
FatherSun's enlightening passion for Truth
EarthMother's empowering pleasure in trust
as humanely divine peace
that compassionately passes
crowning Sage either/or cognitive understanding
removed from
Muse-rooting polyvagal both/and neurosystemic feelings
Nonverbal
nonviolent
polyphonic resonant experiences
of co-empathic trust in emotive feelings
inviting co-passionate Truths
of Gaia's hypostatic
hypothetical
pronoia hypothesis
Warmly regarding
prehistoric questioning mysteries
Intuitively questing
God's recreative map
historic reconstruction
of trusted healthy neurosystemic opportunities
and actively distrusted
uneasy unhealthy unsafe risks
Inside this universal question
we unitingly quest
about Gaia's pronoia feelings
Stillness
stuckness of human nature longing
to EarthMother nature
belong
Whether we believe
in past peak transformative experiences
of profoundly compassionate trust
and/or unpeacefully
and unpleasantly
not so much.
Families
and communities,
hopefully becoming like extending families,
and that would make them some form of faith communities,
relying exclusively on top-down authorities
to empower today
and tomorrow's cooperative faithfulness
to ourselves
to each other
to Earth
to the Universe, perhaps,
are also families and communities
under-invested
suboptimizing
bottom-up maturing co-empathic responsibilities
to learn nutritional elements
and synergetic trends we democratically trust
and multiculturally feel
for their optimizing wealth of health potential.
And, those other darker
not clearly articulating our Golden Ruling DNA-RNA heritage,
and those clearly distrusted
as anathema growing trauma's immunities from growing healthy egos
and evolving nutritiously faithful communities
and Earth's regenerative spiral trends,
bilaterally co-arising
ego/eco consciousness of Earth
as sacramental cooperative fulfillment
further seeking positive faithful WWW promise,
Win self-economics
Win Other ecologics
Win Earth ecosystemic
organic spacetime
0-soul co-investing moments.
What cooperative fulfilling authority goes down
equivalently invites and resonates with
co-empathic promising responsibilities
emerging from below shared daydreams,
not nightmares,
rising synergetically up.
Climates of health recycling down
so landscapes of wealthy global democracy
rise revolutionary
and sacramentally
and cooperatively
organically up.
Earth's changing from above climate
seeps up and sweeps down
into each community's communicating climates
ectosymbiotic and endosymbiotic
creolizing and transubstantiating
into and around
each individual's internal climates
of organically faithful experience
and desecrating despair, dismay, competing dissonances,
and, so, thereby,
sacredly vice versa,
preferably more actively cooperative Win+Win
than reactively competitive Win v Lose
capitalistic and patriarchal
over-extended
and extractive
gamesmanship.
Families
as organic communities
cooperate best both sweeping up
and seeping sacredly down together
of and for tomorrow's greatest polyamorous faithfulness,
and minimal monoculturing
climates of despair.
In all things, give thanks.
Surrounded,
overwhelmed by disassociating depression,
learn gratitude.
Gratitude, a sacred noun,
positive attitude, a secular verb phrase.
Depression and gratitude,
depressed impress.
Impossibly essential
potential.
Suppression and hope.
Hope in and through
blind and deaf as faith,
senseless passion dispowering position
over doubling down negative consequences
co-arising dissonant experience
with resonant resolutions.
Repressing naked clarity,
dualdark yet light-squared
and cubed
in fractal dialects
of holy, trauma,
sacred enslavement,
immortal despair.
Desecrated Earth
by commodified inhumanity,
capitalized corporate stricture,
giving thanks
for dawn's promised dusk.
Within,
above,
below all,
giving thanks without receiving praise,
re-acclimating gratitude,
humbling attitude.
Great commissions,
emissions,
omissions;
elevating attitudes
descending through our past.
Elevators rise to fall to rise
within great and small
freedoms of commission.
Paradise fulfills embryonic passion
as pleasure grows roots in healthcare faith
emerging from fragile hope,
contagious absence of distrust's despair.
Desperation limns failed aspirations
lacking pathological denial,
returning Earth's holistic trust
with humanity's mistrust,
light squared lust
disturbing dualistic darkness.
Energy's massive capital,
our degenerating god
of depressing idolatry.
Craven subsidies
defy investments in future health
of divestments from past pathologies.
Information capitalizes derivatives of energy,
as exformation departs from pregnant entropy.
Great commissions
of gratifying robust relationships
grow from small omissions
of history's dissonant mistrust.
In all trusted passions
and distrusted pains,
give thanks.
To hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature
In an enchanting garden
Stood a slim sandal tree
With delicate branches
Reaching towards the sky
Wind rustled thru it
To carry its perfume
On her wings
Far and wide
Birds nestled among
The pretty leaves
To live their lives
In happiness and peace
Near its roots
Lived a big black asp
Distrusted by all
Alone in its misery
He slithered up the sandal
And wrapped around
Its perfumed trunk
And closed its eyes
For many days
He stayed like that
In hope to take
A little perfume from the tree
No matter how much
He tried and tried
But could not get
The delicate aroma
Nor would the
Gentle sandal tree
Get the poison
From its body
Hunger made him leave
And all let out a sigh
For again the sandal
Stood erect to
Spread its perfume
Far and wide
On the wings of wind
By-Tahera Mannan
19/04/2011
For Constance’s ‘The Tree’ contest
A Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
came in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
White
EcoFeminist way
He seems to want to stay,
to overpower my say
and will to sing
our musing pray
Because...
why?
I wonder what he feels
about me,
us,
about his own deep harmonic longing
to listen for our sung together feelings
Music therapy
composed of what we economically
and politically Trust,
wanting mutual
and actively co-invested
full singing circle harmonic Wins right now
to Win more easily tomorrow's healthing way
And what might this PatriCapitalist feel
he does not want?
Perhaps less Win/Lose
ZeroSum individualized power and light assumptions
actively distrusted
settling for more traumatic apartheid,
denial of interdependently woven relationship,
nature v spirit non-indigenous dualism
divorced from my own prehistoric felt experience
longing to avoid further ***** nihilistic Lose/Lose
trauma
decay
pain
loss
degeneration.
Am I distracting
dissonant
too RightBrain gooey
for serious performance competition
with Your church choir's
true blue bought and sold
commodified liturgical purpose?
To put on a good LeftBrain entertaining show
Rituals about cooperatively enjoying
our win/win WholeEarth health-care receiving
and resilient wealth-care giving
by conducting bicamerally harmonic potential
For healthier democracies,
more cooperatively owned EarthPartnership,
more inclusive multicultural polypaths
for universally unitarian polyphonic
constellations of integral systemic Voice
Yang yintegrally
WuWei
less Western sociopathic trauma
best forgiven through compassionate
indigenously polycultural
wellness sung and danced
Win health Voices
to Win resilient wealth Choices
for green ego/ecosystemic leadership
Con-celebrating BlueSky/GreenEarth
light and power felt
warm harmonic need
for more and better
inter-religious
intersectional
interdependently reweaving
healthy democratic communion
Which is what I need
and want to say
about how I seem to feel
when a Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
comes in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
Gospel
EcoFeminist way.
I was broken, busted and disgusted;
But now I got Jesus;
I got the fruit of the tree in my soul;
and He won't let me go...
I was, but Now I got love
I was, but Now I am His
I was, but now I got Jesus, and He freed us...
I was lost, tossed and distrusted;
But now I got Jesus;
I got the fruit of the tree in my soul;
and He won't let me go...
I was, but Now I got love
I was, but Now I am His
I was, but now I got Jesus, and He freed us...
now I got Jesus, I got the Lord;
now I got Jesus, this I am sure;
I was broken, busted and disgusted;
But now I got Jesus;
I got the fruit of the tree in my soul;
and He won't let me go...
I was, but Now I got love
I was, but Now I am His
I was, but now I got Jesus, and He freed us...
now I got Jesus, I got the Lord;
now I got Jesus, this I am sure;
I got the Lord, the Lord Jesus Christ in my life;
and He doesn't have to die for me twice;
For He's the one and only witness...
With the fruit of the tree in my soul;
I was lost, tossed and distrusted;
But now I got Jesus;
I got the fruit of the tree in my soul;
and He won't let me go...
I was broken, busted and disgusted;
But now I got Jesus;
I got the fruit of the tree in my soul;
and He won't let me go...
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;
I Was but now I Got Jesus;