Long Despairingly Poems

In one sense,
the Cafe CoOp
started as my therapeutic retirement dream.

But,
in quite another
the CoOp goes back to when I was eight,
and I thought,
assumed really,
everyone indulged in Thought Experiments
about what would my optimal Eden Paradise.
restoring peace and...

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I've heard it said,
and seen it done,

"This currency of capitalism
is the very venomous root of all evil."

And, I've heard good cooperative capitalists say,
perhaps a bit too loudly,

"Not money, this root,
merely innocent paper and metal-based resource,
but...

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Let no one despise your youth
May all disciples tell you the truth 
In Word,
Not just the first, second, or third, let your thoughts be heard
And your feelings unstirred
Your heart Misguided and Misheard
Let no lesson go...

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Free At Last

How I wish one day just wake up to lie down under the rain
In the dessert, watch an apparition of water and discover 
a fountain where I can approach wet my dry lips...

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"melliflous birds are still cooing in the forest of my amber dreams " (by poet)



a gift from my father - on the first day of college,
"Golden Treasury"...A book of poetry...
the first poem I read... "She...

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Suicidal Ideation March 30th, 2022 linkedin...
to mein kampf insync with mine body dysmorphia

After reading articles
published within April 4/11 2022
of The Nation
I challenged the efficacy
taking prescription medication
categorized as SSRIs 
and/or SNRIs.

Unpleasant side effects
such as earth shaking...

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As if in a decades long
     somnambulant trance
     for majority of years
     I finally awoke,
three score minus
     one orbitz...

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I said to my son,
He said back to me,
To be honest with us,
I'm worried

We want to be happy
while bypassing disciplines of left-brain healthy
is not too right-brain cooperatively sappy.

But, after my ancient lifetime of trying
directly for...

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Deliberation about courting death rooted
throughout mine psyche fueling sinister chortle
at least since bout with anorexia nervosa,
but... maybe ginned blood,
sans umbilical cord transfused in utero aortal,

though long since recovered, the intractable,
haunting specter, sans grim reaper
intertwining within...

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We are sullenly mourning
For security from the demoralizing night
I am despairingly probing
For mercy to carry us back to our divine flight

We are all wishing for infinite freedom
We are all seeking for an abundant kingdom

If we...

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Darkest night and longest hours:
Hours to labor and
Hours to trip in the primitive ooze of repetition
Hours to catch up or trade for spare minutes,
Hours with eyes only half aware
Of life and its warnings,
Lifeless and blissless...

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a gift from my father - on the first day of college,
"Golden Treasury"...A book of poetry...
the first poem I read... "She Walks In Beauty".
I carried that book throughout my life as a keepsake...

even when poetry...

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THE CRYSTAL PALACE


The gods awoke, as they occasionally do,                 
and found Fred Cross in multitudes, alone.   ...

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So these bruises you left still linger here, confused and bitter, hovering fear, trusting sincerity whispered in my ear.

But it’s me that believed truths that were lies, the painted picture of an imaginary life, insinuations...

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There’s Nothing To It

I found a piece of nothing in my back yard yesterday.
I’d planned to mow the lawn so tried to move the piece away.
I thought to get behind it, backing off and sneaking...

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Tortured souls echo midst shadowed loneliness
Traveling the arteries of depressions hell
Ever increasing self-torment ripples
Whilst suicidal thought forms emotional swell
Where all but lost screaming companions
Personalise this vortex, this dull pain
Darkness becomes a black sunshine
Tears form, the...

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All she wanted was love, but he
forgot the dreamy days of yore.
Gone were those sweet caresses,
Gone were the walks hand in hand,
Gone was any passionate lovemaking.
All sentiment evaporated into bank accounts,
and soon he found others...

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Shuffling through life in a slow and painful way
Expecting the worst almost every single day
The lonely, angry man who had never felt love 
Had no idea he had spiritual guardians above

They tried to reach his...

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Gazing into a clear lake pool . . . 
I saw a reflection of my life before me.

The gaze and what I saw depicted . . . 
A progression of past life experiences.

I savored the...

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Far off bathed in hazy blue light,
Reaching and hugging clouds real tight.
A soft and peaceful landscape scene
How romantic it all would seem.

Sunlight casting patches on your back,
The eye follows a meandering track.
Snowy dust glitter down...

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I have danced while music played,
and smiled, although despairingly,
through tears at smiles not meant for me.
Both soft eyes, though brown and drab,
have strived to glitter, with scant success,
as others shone bright, reflecting light
beneath their lashes,...

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Hate

Why must you carry the blackness of hate
Why do you find it so easy to belittle and berate
Anger is such a negative way to communicate 
And all it does is create an avenue to separate...

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As I stared despairingly at the transom,
my daughter declared, as she gave a smile winsome:

“I wouldn’t stand for such a name, if I were Janell!
It’d be okay of course, if Janell refers to the vessel…”

Captain...

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See Me
I want, desperately, to Impress
Why
I don't know why
Hmm
I just, despairingly, want to Impress
I, sincerely, wish you knew why
Why, pray tell
So, interestingly, I may want to Impress too
Oh, my dear friend...
Yes, buddy
It, unfeigned, has to...

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In old London
the Thames used to be muddy,
not muddy like the Mississippi,
but the mud of the drowned,
murdered, and of long lost dreams.

On gray dawns
scrawny kids would sift through
the detritus that washed up
on its stony riverbank,
small...

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