Long Dark thoughts Poems
Long Dark thoughts Poems. Below are the most popular long Dark thoughts by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Dark thoughts poems by poem length and keyword.
...A child who’d never know a father
that had deserved him more than she could tell,
knowing that she must lie to her husband,
the truth of it would not end very well.
The moments when she should feel only joy,
she just felt despair she could not avoid.
The weight of it all pushed Whitney to drink,
she hid it well, since Jerry worked a lot,
the au pair did most care for the baby,
since inside Whitney was nagged by dark thoughts,
she’d see her youngest, and think of her loss,
then call the au pair, and hand the babe off.
This pattern went on for about a year,
all of her family noticed the grim mood,
Jerry did his best to cater to her,
but despite this Whitney didn’t improve,
when, despite her kids, everything seemed wrong,
when in her own life she didn’t belong.
It wasn’t suicide that claimed Whitney,
at least it was not the conscious sort,
it came when she’d exhausted her wine,
and without a thought, went out to the store,
far enough gone that she didn’t realize
that she had no business trying to drive.
Her car was found at the base of a bridge,
she gone so fast she’d burst through the guard rail,
the coroner said she’d died in impact,
when Jerry heard of the news he just wailed,
he may not have held the love of his wife,
but to him she’d been the love of his life.
JERRY
Jerry found himself in a trying place,
alone with three children, one of them young,
working full time to keep everyone fed,
without nannies he would get nothing done.
But even then, his children were depressed,
not understanding the whole of this mess.
He’d never been an emotional man,
but he tried his best to be there for them,
especially their one-year old baby,
who, of course, needed so much attention,
Jerry’s hair turned gray trying to keep up,
and he was still mourning for his lost love.
He managed to find some sort of balance,
some way to keep his kids going through this,
they were the only good this he had left,
the only reason he cared to persist,
alone he had little time for himself,
it did take a toll on his mental health.
He’d no time for dating, didn’t want to,
it still hurt too much to not see Whitney,
all his time was spent with his three children,
there was none left for fun or for hobbies,
Jerry felt himself a shell of a man,
everything was struggle, there was no more plan...
CONTINUES IN PART V.
...Even worse as his youngest grew bigger
he noticed things that had him quite alarmed,
the kid had blue eyes, Whitney’s had been brown,
his were brown too, he could not understand,
his facial features were not like Jerry’s,
he felt things he did not want to believe.
Jerry ignored it as long as he could,
but that dark thoughts just kept building in his head,
not long after his youngest had turned five,
to a doctor the young child was lead,
“Just for a check-up,”Jerry told the lad,
hoping against hopes the results weren’t bad.
But when it came back several weeks later
it became clear the youngest wasn’t his,
he knew that it must be Alan Price,
what other man would Whitney have lain with?
He told not the kid, that would be a crime,
but inside resentment burning in his mind.
He raged at his wife for betraying him,
and Alan Price for destroying a home,
raged at the universe for taking them,
the objects of his vengeance now were gone,
like his wife before, he stared to drink,
and as time went on even more did think.
He’d known of his wife divorcing Alan
back before they had gotten together,
thinking from her place, seeing it all a hoax,
helped him too see the thing all the better,
to be torn between two loves, both alive,
he could see the confusion born inside.
And thinking of Alan, smeared as he was,
feeling so desperate he’d take his own life,
had Jerry been there, and feeling like that,
would he turn down a moment that felt right?
When half the world thought you guilty of rape…
all based on a lie, ruined by such hate…
But understanding only goes so far,
and Jerry needed an object for rage,
this started with a false accusation,
that Jesse Malinche maliciously made,
had that lying not started this all
then none of them would’ve faced such a fall.
Jerry had never been a big gun guy,
in fact most would’ve called him bleeding heart,
but one day he walked into a gun store,
he had no record, or crime he’d had no part,
so there was no reason to stop the sale,
no reason to suspect that he would assail.
That night gunshots were heard at Jesse’s house,
the police came, saw him on the front step,
mumbling madly, his mind clearly gone,
his hands with blood were stained red, and quite wet.
They took him away, found Jesse inside,
dead in her bedroom, with glazed, waxy eyes…
CONCLUDES IN PART VI.
If I have uttered blasphemy
That you’re the root of the dark tree
Light and darkness are twins of might
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I blasphemed the shining Son
That death awaits the moon and sun
That they are strangers without might
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If my teeth and serpent fingers
Harmed the fivefold god who lingers
Put animals and plants in plight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I sinned against the elect
Though they’re angels without defect
We opposed their words from the height
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I in any way harmed life
If I put crawling beasts in strife
Put life that swims or flies in plight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I’ve done tricks and perjury
Harmful gossip and sorcery
Sinned with this self, put life in plight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I followed a wolf’s teachings
Ignored the wise elect’s preachings
And then worshipped the Prince of Night
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If my heart strayed from these four seals
From the four gods as ideals
Love, faith, fear, wisdom shining bright
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I ignored the ten commands
If with my mouth, heart, self, and hands
Fell short due to my flesh in plight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If my soul did not sing in prayer
My prayers did not fly in pure air
The four prayers not said with my might
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
I fail in giving the elect
Alms for the angels to collect
So the light can’t reach heaven’s height
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I broke the fifty days fast
For my greed and distress amassed
I forgot the law at twilight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
If I fail to confess and pray
To the kind elect each Monday
For I was lazy or lost sight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
I failed in the seven Yimkis
To fast and celebrate in bliss
Failed when the Bema was in sight
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
Each day I make dark thoughts and deeds
Each day I grow dark words like weeds
Betraying the light of pure white
Forgive my sins! Have mercy, Light!
Manichaean kyrielle poem based on the "A Confession Prayer for Hearers" in the Manichaean Book of Hymns
ONCE IN MY LIFETIME
Everyone things I know so much but it is really just my amazingly simple mind..
Not really very much to me, just want to be person who wants to always be kind..
Most people will never know me, the person who desires to be alone with no noise in the dark…
They only know the person who says yes ma’am and no thank you sir with a smile along with the remark..
Letting out the things that swirl around in my head could get me caught in my own dread..
Of disaster and I would much rather keep up the façade instead of the alternative ahead..
I put up this front so nobody will know how much I am falling apart each day…
In addition, the loving family and husband that I have makes everyone smile and most will say..
They were always meant for each other, seem so happy, and in such bliss..
If they only know that, we have not had that connection in so long and how much I miss..
The feeling of his arms holding me tight, as we would lay together every night,,
Now I am broken in both bones and my spirit, which gave me my light..
I have been lucky enough to have a love of a lifetime as well as bunch of good..
Friends that really love me but do not realize half of my dark thoughts under my hood..
So to all of the people I see I wish a great day and life as well as trying to never offend…
Moreover, to the heavens every night I send a kiss and a prayer to help me regain my love before my end..
Because deep into my heart and soul I will love you Matthew for all of my life and even after..
You were my fairytale, my heart, and together we could even be one great disaster..
Therefore, to my darling husband who is one of the few who knows the real me, my kisses and hugs are so deep..
And my longing to feel better so I can run into his arms I fear will be only in my dreams, so I just lay here I weep..
Loving can be both wonderful and evil at both the same time and what I hate
Is the different way he looks at me now whether or not he realizes it I know that for us it is too late..
For me I will be called home soon I feel in my heart my dear..
However, you will live on and still have love to give another, which will always be my fear...
Love you always…
Buffy Sammons 7-30-15
when she was down and low
when her life was bleak .... and darkness was her veil
and she could not see a future ahead
and she closed her eyes to all family
and friends ...
~ he gave her a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has made all the difference ~
the book has become so meaningful to her
for all the answers are within the pages and pages
each day she reads the book and is enlightened
each day her future looks brighter
for she has embraced the words written ...
thousand and thousands of years ago
~ he gave her a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has made all the difference ~
the Psalms and Proverbs bring her comfort
from her despair
and Solomon's Song inspires her as does ....
the Lamentations
she loves the Old Testament the best and all the passages
yet, the New Testament has so much to teach
and she gathers insight ... to help her on her life journey
~ he gave her a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has make all the difference ~
it happened one day
when she was recovering from a near death
walking alone .... wandering ... lost in dark thoughts
she happened to enter the hospital chapel
and the book was there ... waiting
~ and she opened it and that has made all the difference
for the "he" was God, and the "she" and "her" are me ~
and the book is the Bible ...
______________________
June 6, 2021
Poetry/Free Verse/He Gave Her A Book
Copyright Protected, ID 06-1361-596-06
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France
Written for the Standard contest, He Gave Her A Book
sponsor, Mystic Rose, Rose, Judged 06/10/2021
First Place
I have tasted new lands as I’ve traveled this Earth,
would leave prejudice (often) with dust shoes pick up.
No, not loam like the Dust Bowl knew (God knows our shame),
the clear-cutting of forests, Paul Bunyan (with Blue
Ox named ‘Babe)’ (1) tried to trade! ‘Whites’ own much of the blame,
though for rape of the planet, dark thoughts they’re God’s race,
when Christ’s color was darker, church clothes splashed with red!
Each one’s skin is a tent that they wear! Is God’s mirth
that skin’s not our design, and it’s fragile? Our “cup”
may “run over,” but “Grace” is its content. We ‘name’
things around us. Is God a Creator Who ‘knew’
I’d write poems before Earth congealed, knew I’d ‘tame’ (2)
Souls around me who’d trust me to ‘serve them,’ not chase
skirt’s illusion, trust their ‘will’ would ‘serve me,’ God’s bread?
Each new day’s a full suitcase ‘God?’ gifts us at dawn
as our future flows toward us, frame dreamer’s repasts
for one sleeping’s not absent, their spirit gains ground. (3)
Our suitcases have boundaries, intellect’s GIF
that we nourish (don’t own or define)! Fates are found
as they pass us (not dreamed with known tool kits) that hint
there’s an infinite mind (one no mortal can grok).
Thought leans forward or backward (for logic’s a rock
that survival deems potent)? Soul mocks views that TINT
faith’s belief ‘we can know.’ That’s why faith’s so profound!
It reflects on God’s leading (a heavenly riff?)!
Faith in logic gets tested, its truth is not bound
to what fools think is true, Earth’s not center that lasts
though high priests kill their foes. Such truth fades with a yawn!
Brian Johnston
3rd of April in 2022
Poet’s Notes:
‘Philosophy’ that lives, gives breath
to thoughts that lead to better death.
(A paraphrase of Cicero)
(1) Paul Bunyan’s tales are American Folklore about a mythical
logger and his pet Ox (who helped him move felled trees.
(2) To “tame” someone is one process of making a friend as
described by “The Little Prince” in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s
book of the same name.
(3) REM sleep (with its dreams) refreshes the brain and seems
to help us meet both old and new challenges.
I studied him, just as he studied me
I in disgust, confusion, and he in angry fantasy
His eyes, black, and yet still blackening
He embraced me with a terrible fit in his mind
Those piercing eyes, saturated in obsession,
Moving up and down my steady body
He watched as I drew in resolved breaths
Sensing my growing antipathy
Beyond the ease in my tone
He shook with want
He shook with angst
“Your dark thoughts are not hidden in my sight
This you will know by my piercing stare
There is power in words,
Just as there is power in your glare”
“Then breathe with me,” He sung with sting,
“And free all of your wants and cares…
Be the master of your own destiny,
And with your straying light, impair
Me, just as you impair your faith,
Against all but your own breast,
Penetrate
Seize our moments with pursed desire
Dress me in your sweet sung fire
Darling dear, our message is clear
Among this fight we share
Take a sip of my saccharine whip
And consume the inviting dare
Be my temp as I lure you
Deceive me as I floor you
Damask me, shock me, piss on my pride,
I dare your soul to take these reigns and ride”
In my ears he sung,
“Let us be lost together…”
Like a roaring sea trapped in a restricted bowl
Ready to overflow the moment my lips consent
“Hellbent you are,” I sadly sung
“Hellbent, and dragging all the lonely with you,
How strange we have come to these crossroads,
To test our patience with lusts unspent
Hellbent, you are, hellbent!
And yet you would croak to crush all heaven-sent
Give me into your darkness, never see the day
Follow me into the light, and never be the same!
You are my lovely enticement, oh Devil, oh Prince,
Your claws clutch in my knowing heart,
And I thrash in diffidence
Emboldening me, your lure,
The stone in you has fled
Grow in this desire, sweet wings
Your light is yet not dead”
Holding me, I felt his darkness lathering me
My eyes, my nostrils, blurred in his scent
“Your light is yet not dead…” I whispered again
Fainting, eyes struggling to stay awake,
I clasped his shoulder and shook my head
For in his eyes he realized,
That his light was yet not dead
One dark morning at 2am I stood there alone.
My life in pieces, many things had gone wrong.
The pain was so deep, no light I could see.
I could not believe, what was happening to me.
No other person I thought has felt this pain.
Mine was the worst, and that was my claim.
It won’t get any better, the voices would say.
To seek the solution involves only one way.
The more I reflected, the darker it seemed.
What makes some so kind , and others so mean.
I wrote my excuse, left it on my bed.
I’m no good to anyone, just better off dead.
I went to the window, climbed out, then looked down.
The pain will be over quick, once I hit that ground.
I’m tired of being picked on, called all kinds of names.
I ’ve tried to be nice to all, yet not treated the same.
I thought life would be easy, with love all around.
I did not expect all of these ups and downs.
I Slid close to the edge, to prepared for the fall.
Out of the dark room, my name someone called.
“DON ’T DO IT ” I love you, and your children do too.
When you take your life, what will they do?
I can fix all things, say yes to me and see.
Climb in, sit down, and just talk now with me.
I did not see anyone , yet I knew someone was there.
The voice was so gentle, I felt they truly cared.
The room was electrified, my tears began to flow.
My heart once full of painful, now seemed to just glow.
The voice that I heard earlier, I could no longer hear.
I felt Him in my heart. He was so very near.
The dark thoughts that I had, they've all disappeared.
He said bring to Him in prayer, anything that I feared.
I knew that was Jesus, even though I could not see.
The voice that was so peaceful, that had spoken to me.
To this day, I reflect on that morning in the room.
The night full of sadness, with darkness and gloom.
If someone that reads this, that happened to me.
Just call out to God! He ’ll answer, You ’ll see!
Don't listen to people who claims he's not there.
I'm telling you he is. He loves each one of us and cares.
He created the world and all people too.
But He's never too busy to spend time with you.
when I was down and low
when my life was bleak .... and darkness was my veil
and I could not see a future ahead
and I closed my eyes to all family
and friends ...
~ God gave me a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has made all the difference ~
the book has become so meaningful to me
for all the answers are within the pages and pages
each day I read the book and am enlightened
each day my future looks brighter
for I have embraced the words written ...
thousand and thousands of years ago
~ God gave me a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has made all the difference ~
the Psalms and Proverbs bring me comfort
from my despair
and Solomon's Song inspires me as does ....
the Lamentations
I love the Old Testament the best and all the passages
yet, the New Testament has so much to teach
and I gather insight ... to help me on my life journey
~ he gave me a book called the Bible, a book
with books within
and that has made all the difference ~
it happened one day
when I was recovering from a near death
walking alone .... wandering ... lost in dark thoughts
I happened to enter the hospital chapel
and the book was there ... waiting
~ and I opened it and that has made all the difference
for God showed himself to me that day ~
and the book is the Bible ...
______________________
January 21, 2022 (edit)
Poetry/Free Verse/God Gave Me A Book
Copyright Protected, ID 01-1423-403-21
All Rights Reserved, 2022, Constance La France
Submitted to the Premier contest, Show Me God
sponsor, Unseeking Seeker, Judged 01/24/2022
Fourth Place
There is no devil no Satan no Beelzebub above or just below your feet to me there is only Legion one of many one more than three as not as many as infinity…
Legion is what the devil is or what was evil that truly conceals it hideous face Legion it is the tiny voices of doubt the violence that humans spread to each other like a disease Legion are the demons dark shadows cruel and devoid malice holocaust…
Legion is silent voices of darkness from the outer void the inner hole of your soul Legion is all there is unholy and what will be what is insidious evil what is the corruption of mans thoughts minds and souls.
Legion only masks divinity he who has been twisted in the thoughts of men he was who real but is not in the realms the grand plans of man evil is what man makes his dark deeds action feelings form take shape, hate…
Legion is the perversions of the human soul the twisted mirror that is held to humanities face he who is of dark thoughts and sinister minds of humanity, waits Legion is the creator of dark deeds and desolations destruction of worlds and hearts of men Legion's evil roots incarnate in the soul of man…
Legion manifest themselves as demons that plague our divinity and creations evil cruel deeds cold and untold but what is the crimes of humanity but legion it is the grand schemes the corruption of humanities insanities the unraveling sanity slinking dark shadows if man cast, a grinding entropy…
Legion the one unknown loss between the worlds within worlds thoughts within thoughts the universe Legion is nothing but Creations black shadow cast through space and time to torment of souls on this earthly plane…
But whisper of what lingers there between the stars no warmth or soul just the cold calculus of the unknown we are but wanderings longings for loves lost of human hands to caress finding places to dwell a home…
Dark deeds pool as the shadows of legion comes to rest Legion is many it is all the grand demons of a death darker than the darkest soul or the call of false light of the brightest sun…!