Long Dark thoughts Poems
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...A child who’d never know a father
that had deserved him more than she could tell,
knowing that she must lie to her husband,
the truth of it would not end very well.
The moments when she should feel only joy,
she just felt despair she could not avoid.
The weight of it all pushed Whitney to drink,
she hid it well, since Jerry worked a lot,
the au pair did most care for the baby,
since inside Whitney was nagged by dark thoughts,
she’d see her youngest, and think of her loss,
then call the au pair, and hand the babe off.
This pattern went on for about a year,
all of her family noticed the grim mood,
Jerry did his best to cater to her,
but despite this Whitney didn’t improve,
when, despite her kids, everything seemed wrong,
when in her own life she didn’t belong.
It wasn’t suicide that claimed Whitney,
at least it was not the conscious sort,
it came when she’d exhausted her wine,
and without a thought, went out to the store,
far enough gone that she didn’t realize
that she had no business trying to drive.
Her car was found at the base of a bridge,
she gone so fast she’d burst through the guard rail,
the coroner said she’d died in impact,
when Jerry heard of the news he just wailed,
he may not have held the love of his wife,
but to him she’d been the love of his life.
JERRY
Jerry found himself in a trying place,
alone with three children, one of them young,
working full time to keep everyone fed,
without nannies he would get nothing done.
But even then, his children were depressed,
not understanding the whole of this mess.
He’d never been an emotional man,
but he tried his best to be there for them,
especially their one-year old baby,
who, of course, needed so much attention,
Jerry’s hair turned gray trying to keep up,
and he was still mourning for his lost love.
He managed to find some sort of balance,
some way to keep his kids going through this,
they were the only good this he had left,
the only reason he cared to persist,
alone he had little time for himself,
it did take a toll on his mental health.
He’d no time for dating, didn’t want to,
it still hurt too much to not see Whitney,
all his time was spent with his three children,
there was none left for fun or for hobbies,
Jerry felt himself a shell of a man,
everything was struggle, there was no more plan...
CONTINUES IN PART V.
28/10/11(home)
By Sashi.Prabhu(ZEAUOXIAN)
Behold! unto me it will ever so cling,
Often wonder why it lingers on with me,
Untold, it is to make the church bell ring,
Akin to a dark shadow it owns the locked key.
Reflect I practiced every morn for sure,
Pondered much I for every need,
Pure Thought, me knew was the only cure,
For now all that is put forward is pure deed.
Content am I with my present self,
Away has travelled the devlish reign,
Calm is my mind content in itself,
Dark thoughts they say I must abstain.
Every morn ,now it awaits for me,
To a cool breeze and a warm smile,
And when I look out so green is the tree,
My life I feel has just begun to be worthwhile.
He made me ponder my greatest fear
not ghosts nor goblins grinning ear to ear
The one that I really fear most
is the one peering back from the mirror
Is he real or will he just disappear
Will anyone remember he was ever here
That person I present
the one white washed and sanitized
representing the best of me
So I become a dim copy rationalized
Manicured, self fantasized
Will my true self ever be realized
Or am I destined to be compartmentalized
packaged pretty, thoughts pasteurized
Does anyone else worry
what others might discover
A mother wife sister or brother
The dark thoughts that make us shudder
that choke the brain and threaten to smother
If they could see inside would they run for cover
So we protect them and ourselves
keep bits hidden away on shelves
Screaming for release but afraid
what might happen if someone tells
We ain't always pretty, stagnant water smells
Instead bang the gong and ring the bells
If it's inside release it with yells
What will happen if we face our thoughts
Is it really us maybe it's not
Are we just scared boys and girls tied in knots
Trying to push it all down deeper
that stuff we've been taught
Take aim, release those expectations
another life can't be bought
Make the best of the one you've got!
For "What you Fear Most" contest.
Reaching out and never being able to find
It can be a completely empty feeling
Going through loss starts a battle in your mind.
They're not coming back, there's no healing.
Those are dark thoughts----you've become deaf and blind.
Whether it's loss through death or simply leaving
You have to get through it the best way you can
When that person leaves they have no idea what they're stealing
If they went to heaven or got away in their van
They've taking a piece of you and that's why you're grieving.
But like the old cliche hope eternally springs.
It's what we really need to get on with our life.
If you let hope in your heart freedom truly rings.
It gets rid of the anger, sadness and strife.
His Love and love from others, that's what hope brings.
Date posted:September 16, 2021
"Quintain (Sicilian) Poetry Contest
Sponser:Emile Penet
Its dark,,thoughts deep dipped
Taking a stroll but I wanna ride
To go so far that my feets tire
To do it so fast that my thighs burn up
All the more my butt builds
Excruciating lashing wind I crave
Creating a path on the blinding fog
Past the wind by the bulky cypresses
Till my eyes tear away
Till my vision is all a blur
Till m'breathe is stable-struggling
Till I hit on that rock
And am thrown off my ride
And am lying there
Dents on my cheeks and elbows
Blood stained trapped trouser on those greasy wheels
And I breathe
It can't contain me anymore
So the bubble of sadness render me motherless
And I embrace the breeze
And with it it carries silence
And in the silence I find my peace
And in the peace there is laughter
And in the laughter I lose a wrinkle
And my eyes glow a new
Often, I think about my twisted bliss,
all the things I didn't do or say amiss;
and heartbreaking grief stabs me like a knife.
O, sweet were the times when my soul felt a kiss!
But, piteous and forlorn has been my short life.
My deep unseen wounds can never be healed,
and when the book of my life is read- all will be revealed;
I wake from nightmares and weep until dawn,
seeking forgiveness, in many a church I have appealed!
My twisted path bloodstained and woebegone.
The dead come creeping in dreams full of blame,
their tears and wailing fill me with horrible shame;
mom, I didn't bring you home to die, my regret is vast,
husband, why did I not loudly our love proclaim!
Each night, I step through the threshold of the past.
It seems to me that my life from the start was doomed,
when at six, I watched my sister die- all my joy was entombed;
but lovely those beautiful times when I took a breath,
from the sadness and regret- that my life has consumed!
Yes, I have been damned from conception until my death.
O, dreadful are my dark thoughts and my words,
but thankfully, nowadays I find peace listening to birds;
and I wish, wish for an existence far less gloomy,
and to turn back, back time- turn time backwards!
And why must I ever, ever recall this dismal woeful journey?
_____________________________
September 22, 2017
Poetry/Rhyme/The Piteous Chase
Copyright Protected, ID 17-9418-39-0
All Rights Reserved.
Submitted to the contest, Best Rhyming Poem
September-October 2017
sponsor, John Hamilton
Second Place
_____________________________
Written for the contest, Rhyme Time With 5
sponsor, Laura Loo
First Place
Dark thoughts emerging from a lifeless spirit,
a wandering ship sinking into the remotest depths;
denying itself reality and its sense of comfort...
and was ever there a lighthouse to disperse its darkness?
A captain stirring his erring ship,amid furious waves,
for an imminent and fierce war,
not noticing the making of its destiny...
fighting unnecessary battles of ambiguity,
hoping that luck would bring it safely ashore;
even a small island was hidden from his gaze!
An unwise listener would not take advice from anybody,
he didn't reject it embracing his own vulnerability;
a good decision that didn't imply a cost...
would he ever been discouraged or lost?
For uncountable years, this eager sea-man,
resisted and spoiled many pleasures for victory...
freezing time to avoid another tragedy
with a perception so sharp to defy anyone's will!
And did he deserve the harshest judgment
from others, who were pleased with their fate?
Loneliness was chosen by him
for unequivocal reasons and he craved it
like the bitterest, strongest wine
to make him strong and invincible...
nothing swayed him from his pride
to obtain that impossible goal!
There is no devil no Satan no Beelzebub above or just below your feet to me there is only Legion one of many one more than three as not as many as infinity…
Legion is what the devil is or what was evil that truly conceals it hideous face Legion it is the tiny voices of doubt the violence that humans spread to each other like a disease Legion are the demons dark shadows cruel and devoid malice holocaust…
Legion is silent voices of darkness from the outer void the inner hole of your soul Legion is all there is unholy and what will be what is insidious evil what is the corruption of mans thoughts minds and souls.
Legion only masks divinity he who has been twisted in the thoughts of men he was who real but is not in the realms the grand plans of man evil is what man makes his dark deeds action feelings form take shape, hate…
Legion is the perversions of the human soul the twisted mirror that is held to humanities face he who is of dark thoughts and sinister minds of humanity, waits Legion is the creator of dark deeds and desolations destruction of worlds and hearts of men Legion's evil roots incarnate in the soul of man…
Legion manifest themselves as demons that plague our divinity and creations evil cruel deeds cold and untold but what is the crimes of humanity but legion it is the grand schemes the corruption of humanities insanities the unraveling sanity slinking dark shadows if man cast, a grinding entropy…
Legion the one unknown loss between the worlds within worlds thoughts within thoughts the universe Legion is nothing but Creations black shadow cast through space and time to torment of souls on this earthly plane…
But whisper of what lingers there between the stars no warmth or soul just the cold calculus of the unknown we are but wanderings longings for loves lost of human hands to caress finding places to dwell a home…
Dark deeds pool as the shadows of legion comes to rest Legion is many it is all the grand demons of a death darker than the darkest soul or the call of false light of the brightest sun…!
The fear of losing you is real
It’s in the countless daily moments
Of a diagnosis still echoing in our ear
A verdict forever stuck in our throat
Maybe better to know but at what cost
Trying to keep illness at bay
Aggressive the counter attack
Life never to be the same
Dark thoughts still lurk uninvited
As sometimes your eyes tear up
With no detectable provocation
And in the hush of night when all is quiet
The silence seems unbearable
Within the shadow of a broken heart
So we strive to live each day
As though life is the gift it is
AP: Honorable Mention 2026, Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on August 5, 2019 for contest ONE IN FOUR sponsored by JOSEPH MAY - RANKED 3RD
The day fell,
and the night came,
shrouding me in shadows,
where silence echoed,
and I stood alone,
a solitary figure,
lost in dark thoughts,
weaving visions of a red-flamed future,
glimmering like gleaming gold,
but laced with despair.
Beneath the cold Kachikau winds,
the breath of the late me swept through,
carrying whispers of yesterdays,
and the weight of a world aching,
a bleeding earth,
its crust folding,
wrapping secrets in layers of sorrow.
I saw the end of the world,
a collapse so gentle,
like a rose wilting in the dry season,
the future fading,
petals falling,
each one a memory,
each one a promise unkept.
The walls we built trembled,
cracked under the pressure of our own making,
the rock of my salvation,
long weathered,
her spirit eroded,
whispers of strength now mere echoes.
The Kachikau horizons lay levelled,
a barren canvas where dreams once danced,
the times when you were with me,
when I was with you,
all but a flicker in the depths of time,
a fire burned them to the depths of Sheol,
consuming love, consuming light—
I saw the earth fade,
an artist’s brush sweeping across the canvas,
leaving only shades of gray.
We dug a pit,
and in our haste, we fell,
collapsing into the very void we crafted,
our hands stained with the earth’s blood,
we made it bleed,
our lips consumed us,
entwined in a kiss of despair,
a desperate embrace,
where passion turned to ashes.
Now, the end of the world is near,
a whisper on the wind,
a haunting melody,
and we,
we are all fading,
like stars swallowed by the dawn,
our light dimming,
our stories unfinished,
as darkness wraps around us,
an eternal shroud,
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