My Life As I Feel It

ONCE IN MY LIFETIME Everyone things I know so much but it is really just my amazingly simple mind.. Not really very much to me, just want to be person who wants to always be kind.. Most people will never know me, the person who desires to be alone with no noise in the dark… They only know the person who says yes ma’am and no thank you sir with a smile along with the remark.. Letting out the things that swirl around in my head could get me caught in my own dread.. Of disaster and I would much rather keep up the façade instead of the alternative ahead.. I put up this front so nobody will know how much I am falling apart each day… In addition, the loving family and husband that I have makes everyone smile and most will say.. They were always meant for each other, seem so happy, and in such bliss.. If they only know that, we have not had that connection in so long and how much I miss.. The feeling of his arms holding me tight, as we would lay together every night,, Now I am broken in both bones and my spirit, which gave me my light.. I have been lucky enough to have a love of a lifetime as well as bunch of good.. Friends that really love me but do not realize half of my dark thoughts under my hood.. So to all of the people I see I wish a great day and life as well as trying to never offend… Moreover, to the heavens every night I send a kiss and a prayer to help me regain my love before my end.. Because deep into my heart and soul I will love you Matthew for all of my life and even after.. You were my fairytale, my heart, and together we could even be one great disaster.. Therefore, to my darling husband who is one of the few who knows the real me, my kisses and hugs are so deep.. And my longing to feel better so I can run into his arms I fear will be only in my dreams, so I just lay here I weep.. Loving can be both wonderful and evil at both the same time and what I hate Is the different way he looks at me now whether or not he realizes it I know that for us it is too late.. For me I will be called home soon I feel in my heart my dear.. However, you will live on and still have love to give another, which will always be my fear... Love you always… Buffy Sammons 7-30-15