Long Checkup Poems
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It's that time in life where a letter arrives
every year for my medical tests,
and the gadgets are showing just how I am going
but leave my nurse not too impressed.
Sphygmomanometer is the machine that checks
how my blood pressure's going,
I mention it since it may be the first time
that you've seen the word used in a poem.
My body mass index was eight points too high,
not quite enough to be a killer,
but seemingly it's enough to qualify
for a job as a part time Gorilla.
One of her questions is how much I drink
since too much can be terribly bad,
but since I'm not hooked up to a Polygraph
I feel I can lie just a tad.
Cholesterol level is high, she tells me,
and that is what worries me most,
since just one small sample of blood would be ample
to spread with a knife on some toast.
I am in the doctor’s office
waiting for my husband having his usual checkup
three people are having conversations
with other people using cellphones
you want to see the video of you getting shots when you were one?
He plays the video for her saying “you got a shot here, here and here”
She is about three and begins whining as she watched this video.
Daddy says “What is wrong with you?”
Lady across the aisle is asking “did he wet the bed last night?”
I am amazed that people think it is okay to talk on the phone in public
Maybe it is a way to prevent conversation with strangers
It works for me
~~Hyper Suggestion~~
I went to the doctors just the other day
It was just for a check up, that’s all I can say
I sat in the waiting room waiting my turn
The magazines were still ten years old so nothing new to learn.
I looked at and started to read the notice board
I noticed the posters with diseases -and they struck a chord
Could you have bowel cancer the first one did query?
Is your poo loose or do you go more often, if so there’s a theory
You might have bowel cancer, check your poo for blood
How nice! I scanned another poster quickly while I could.
Obesity could this be you?
It causes heart disease, diabetes and cancer too.
My eyes scanned the board for something else to read
Ladies have you got ovarian cancer? These signs you must heed
Do you feel full after just a little food?
Do you feel bloated and not at all in the mood?
The bell went my turn had come, I walked through the door
Good morning said the doctor what are you here for?
Well I’ve come for my check up but just before you start
I’ve read all you posters and there may be something wrong with my heart
I turned up for my checkup but after reading twenty one symptoms-and there were more
I now find I’m in here and I have twenty four.
When I was 12 weeks pregnant
my husband and I found out news
News that would change our lives
Shake our entire foundation.
My first son
my loved
Wanted
Long-waited for child
had local exstrophy
During what we thought was a routine checkup
We found out that his lower abdominal wall had not formed correctly
He had a mass as big as his head between his little legs
In the ultrasound
I could barely see his legs because of it
His tiny feet were already clubbed
His spinal cord was tethered
The doctor told us he would never walk or have a functioning bladder
A week later
The situation worsened
We found out his kidneys weren’t working
His lungs wouldn’t develop
After eagerly preparing for our first son
My husband and I
Found out he would die by suffocation upon delivery
If he survived that long
Faced with horrible and difficult odds
My husband and I did what we knew
What was best for our son
Our family
We made the decision to end the pregnancy through abortion
My husband and I loved our first son and wanted him dearly
We named him Thomas
I will forever mourn him
The decision to have an abortion challenged my beliefs around life
My faith
But I have never for a second doubted
This was the right thing to do for myself
My family
Especially Thomas
06122020
Thanks for another day
Others curse their luck, stale breath
Eventually our enemy becomes our brother
Cancer checkup, another swinging dick who fears his death
To not necessarily sacrifice each and every day for another day
I’m going to go to my grave unsung like almost everyone
Numerous number systems beyond the real
Look one way, from another come the heart’s missed beats
One way out of the mind’s limitations is through another mind’s
contemplations
Another autumn, another election, so aimless and sublime
The white egret ate fish after fish, one then another then another...
You get a limited number of long walks, so take your time
One gives up body and soul but that’s not what I came to talk about
Slug the world and the world slugs back
It was amusing in my youth that God’s finger could move me to another
square
Another duality, a day in the woods, jet passing overhead
I am in favor of kindness and you prefer concentration camps
The slow death of one sometimes makes the sudden murder of another
To survive only as many more years as there are petals on a randomly
picked (ox-eye) daisy
Another winter passing its calling card in at the window
One day follows another until the last day and on that day there will be
weather
Start now knowing joy,
that’s an order,
overcome a deepening solitude.
Like a bee at a bugle
or me at the deli
on Third Avenue.
I said to Joe when do you think this weather will break?
He jokes, April.
That’s no joke. Weak creatures die and the strong barely survive.
Half a year goes by
another cancer checkup.
Cheer up. Any weather’s
better than no weather at all.
There’s always governance
even when there is no government.
My candidate drops out
after Iowa. Why do I always lose
at politics and poker?
Peace at last!
No lawnmowers, no leafblowers.
Big comfy couch.
Meditate on this: Do what has to be done.
Find your lover gazing at the moon
and take your garbage to the dump.
Your web site evaporates
and your possessions are thrown in the dumpster
except your trumpet which finds its way to a future trumpeter.
In younger days, my doctor calls
Were few and far between.
A checkup visit wasn’t ever
Part of my routine.
But aging changes all of that
For everyone is trying,
By seeing every specialist,
To staunch the fear of dying.
So now a dermatologist
Will check a brand-new mole.
Suspicious bloodwork? You’re in
Hematologist’s control.
Of course, the gynecologist
Must get a yearly see
And ophthalmologists and those
In rheumatology.
Let’s not forget those stress tests
Cardiologists insist on
And also the urologists
Whose plastic cups get pissed on.
Most gastroenterologists
See clients up in years
And certainly psychiatrists
See seniors for their fears.
I wonder if we might be
Better off just saying “**** it”
For all these doctors can’t prevent
Our kicking of the bucket.
Start
I’m sure you’ve heard his name before
From stories of knights in days of yore
Born in village La Mancha in Spain
Was enthralled of knights, he chose to feign
After resurrection, to America he came
In search of adventures and fame
As legend goes, every knight must have a lady- love
To bestow his “victories” to her as it behoove
He chose Princess Melania as the apple of his eye
And began his quest with her name as the battle-cry
He persuaded a ‘Sancho’ to be his faithful squire
With promise of an island to govern as his gift to aspire
Obsessed by the chivalrous deeds of knights he read
He decided to ride a horse which was almost dead
In search of the helpless to defend and the wicked to punish
He began his knighthood with a resolve to fight to the finish
He soon discovered that times have changed
There weren’t any country sides where Kings reigned
Nor castles to conquer or giants to attack
His weird armor and battle cries only drew flak
Nevertheless, he charged at a parked garbage truck
Struck it with his lance using all his pluck
Construing it to be an enemy out to destroy him
But, he fell to the ground with a broken limb
Bruised and battered, Sancho helped him up
Took him to a hospital for a thorough checkup
The doctors patched him up and examined his head
Found its content deficient, but permitted him to go ahead
Resuming his journey he saw a kitten hidden in a bush
“Let’s grope for the pussy,” he yelled at his horse with a push
The horse galloped fast but stumbled as it fell
The kitten got panicky and fled like hell
It’s enough for the day, felt the Don and returned to his lady love
He took a ‘selfie’ with her sitting on the statue of a dove
He knelt before her and said, “Here are my trophies for you”
Presented the broken lance and smashed helmet, before bidding her adieu.
End
The Golden Years
We celebrated the years with so many memories, birthdays, funerals….
As we took a stroll through life and archived all the memories we had featured
With these golden years
We reflected on our retirement after we met ourselves as employees working well with the passing of age
Our pasts made choices for us including our lifestyle activities
And those choices included low activity, poor diet and a high alcohol intake
Realizing how hard it was to fight this process
Every day was a repeated expression of events as we looked around and took an inventory of the average senior human being
We lived good lives now that we had bad knees, hips, need stents, hearing aids and more which the middle age will never understand
We had counterproductive lifestyle behavior that are now affecting our health with choices made for us
And somehow with these choices came clinics we built with an assumption of calling it a health-care center having professionals assessing our average senior
We served with experience acquired throughout the years
These golden years drew us closer to a self-selecting population requiring a routine checkup preciously because they are fairly healthy
With these years a discovery of how rare our species are, made a realization of how precious our souls are
We were soft, sensitive and had a lovely gesture and we never lost our shine even when we had wrinkles on our faces
These years awarded us the opportunity of earning leisure, a time to rest, relaxation and care without an obligation to maintain an economic level defining the young and middle age
The second wind painted images which made us fragile, superfluous and infantile taking away our powerful mental and emotional constitution, rejecting stereotypic impulses of others perception of us
With everything came time, wisdom, talents to others with an everyday affair of being treated with respect and we had the willpower to strengthen our lifetime challenges adjusting to loss and change of all kinds
Poet
Masego Nkuna
Into the woods on a bright summers day
With a basket of food for her Grandma
But before she arrived she would pick a bouquet
A gift for her Grandma on this her birthday
She noticed the gamekeeper passing her by
So called out his name as she waved him goodbye
Normally friendly, but today Wolf looked down
As she saw on his face an embarrassing frown
She decided to check if her Granny was up
So she got out her mobile to call and checkup
She heard a strange voice but the signal was poor
Grandma’s voice was too deep, said she wanted to sleep
Maybe visit tomorrow for today she felt weak
This made her suspicious she started to shake
For her dear sweet Grandma should be baking a cake
She decided to call on her friend PC Blake
For her instinct was telling her something was wrong
as she called him to ask could he please come along
So together they wended their way through the wood
Nearing Grandma’s chalet, she removed her red hood
As they reached her front door, heard a voice shout for more
So perplexed and alarmed they went in fully armed
But imagine their shock, not believing their eyes
For Grandma was getting a birthday surprise
Grandma and Wolf stark-naked on the floor
Cavorting and frolicking, they were making amour
So discreetly they left, gently closing Grandma’s door…
8th January 2019
Competition: Into The Woods
Sponsor: Silent One
2nd placement
A different take on this ancient fairy tale...
Contest BRIAN STRAND YOU CHOOSE
Sponsor Brian Strand