Long Chamber pot Poems

I once spent a week in the drunk tank
couldn't handle the spirits that I drank
the cuisine wasn't half bad
we even had a few laughs
but I had to guard my butt with a shank


……………………………………………………………………….


It used to...

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I told him who I was and explained my predicament and asked would it be possible to use their phone to get help, he said”  unfortunately we do not have a telephone.”Strange I thought,...

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Did you ever think what you’d give up to be a better man,
If you somehow could know this was true,
That your life was of value, your dreams were a gift,
The world a better place because...

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Old Winston’s in the pub again - you can smell him above stale beer.
That bloody old blue singlet ain’t been changed for a year.
His hands ingrained with grease ‘n grime; a week’s stubble on his...

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Somehow he was made to feel the culprit
for the sins of all house trained mammalians
the breath he drew apparently criminalized
eventually concluding that 90% of the obstacle course
was the low hanging fruits of bland insanity
designed by...

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(cuz ma life iz such a drag...
this toke kin “FAKE” hemp  
pyre aye roll out to you dear reader).

As a double jointed mathematical abbot 
and amateur chemist 
   specializing in cannabinoids
 ...

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An unsophisticated feller attending an auction could find himself in a pickle!
The nuances, subtleties and gestures used in bidding could cost him a pretty nickel!
A city feller decided to attend a farm auction to see...

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I took my periodic stroll through the local antique store today.
I stumbled over things and stepped 'round clutter to make my way!
I looked for clocks - found none, but saw many things I could do...

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Beneath billowing sack cloth tent 
An auctioneer jibber-jabbers his words.
Below his red mahogany dais
Sit Fifty Amish American women and girls.
Black-bonnet-ed, bidder-number in hand, 
they chirp for cowl or coat, yelp for yarn, 
raise bid card...

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I took my periodic stroll through the local antique store today.
I stumbled over things and stepped 'round clutter to make my way.
I looked for clocks, found none, but saw many things I could do without,
And...

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When I was a lad, we had a dunny out the back,
just a hundred feet away from the house,
down a little narrow track.
I never paid a call, as often as I should,
because upon  opening...

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Personal Pukey Politics
By Franklin Price
11/10/2018

Personal pukey politics
Which I have seen today
Is detrimental to the ones
Who don't care what they say

Risking years of friendship
To defend the party line
Makes me sick to think of it
Whether the party's...

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Put a U in topia
Every house renter is to own, 
forget the rich, cos they will moan,
about this change of pitch,
self serving super twits,

Dollar greed is never fair,
 for when you're dead it isn't there,
you...

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WTFWT
A CLATTER, A BANG
A SLAP-A-CLANGER
A BAM OR SLAM
A FIREWORK BANGER
A ZOOM, A BOOM
A CLAP OF THUNDER
A DROPPED CHAMBER POT
A GAZUNDER
A SCREECH OF FRIGHT
A SOUND OF CRYING
A LIGHTNING STRIKE
A MOAN OF DYING
A RUMBLING OF SOMEONE'S TUMMY.
A...

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The elves are fighting over the Christmas bell again.
It is fragile and ringing, underneath my fat chin.
I will wish you a merry Christmas, my darling friend.
Before I clobber those elves. Will that damned ringing end?
Oh,...

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