Long Calaveras Poems

April 9th, 2024 would be ninety fifth birthday poem for dearly departed papa

The following words crafted soon after the soul of me daddy set adrift into the empyrean realm joining the rank and file of...

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After President Joe Robinette Biden Junior withdrew from the presidential race...

Planet earth (the Mother of all)
breathed a collective
and palpable sigh of relief,
and I too deeply exhaled,
a foregone conclusion staved off
today July 21st, 2024,
whereat the audacious,
contumacious,...

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Sneezing fit – tests nasal septum

The word Gesundheit was first used in English in 1914. It became popular in the United States due to the many German immigrants who moved there. Many Americans may not be...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty...

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Hiccups 

An involuntary spasm 
of the diaphragm 
and respiratory organs, 
with a sudden closure 
of the glottis 
and a characteristic 
sound like that of a cough.

Rather mundane topic 
lest one cursed 
with said minor inconvenience
that...

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Anomalous poetic contrivance evokes...
googling inept kickstarted lame outré jaunty hokum

(alternately titled:
Random screenshot within me noggin
instantaneously transforming, 
née devolving into gobbledygook.)

I got born with poker faced physiognomy,
no matter yours truly doth not play cards
though self same...

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If ye benevolent reader count yourself as a wise married man such as me...
(truer words never spoken nor written)
take my word and decline
and absolutely refuse to take masterly crafted bait
videre licet Facebook female
seeking to lure,...

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An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole luck yule set in motion a 
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive 
proboscis honker...

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Jumpin' Frog 

My name is Dan'l Webster
this is my story and I'm stickin' to it
I'm green with a long tongue
wet, slimy skin for a coat.
I eat all sorts of insects
but flies, now there’s a delicacy.
Used...

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La Cavalera Catrina 1910-1930:
An etching by cartoonist and lithographer, José Guadalupe Posada
Of a Garbancera, elegant skull, an upper-class woman of the Porfiriata
Has become a character icon of the Mexican “Día de Los Muertos”
A celebration of...

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In a small gold rush town sipping on ale
Mark Twain once overheard a bartender
Made himself famous by penning this tale
A frog jump contest with a large wager
Decided outright when one frog didn't jump
The contest over...

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The thought of "dwarf tossing" I abhor
But a leaping frog will make me roar
   In Calaveras County
   They leap to collect bounty
Hillbillies watch as moonshine they pour

To leap the farthest takes...

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