Long Bursitis Poems

I looked into the mirror and this is what I saw
Overweight, bloated and extremely out of shape
Put me in a purple shirt
And I'd look just like a grape
The time had come to buckle down
It was...

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I once was fast and so athletic. Bad afflictions? I had none.
Measles, mumps (the normal things). Youth was so much fun.

Then came my childbearing early 20’s. Had a girl and then a boy.
Affliction borne for...

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The first time I met Mei Is Woe, I felt so badly, I begged our co-workers to give up a sick day in the sick day fund, not realizing they had done that so many...

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I feel I have appendicitis,
Or a bad case of bursitis,
And I think I need another tonsillectomy.
I'm sure I got a staph infection
From a tetanus injection
While I was prepping for a hemorrhoidectomy.
I've got cataracts and shingles,
When...

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Topics of conversation seem to change as we approach maturity.
As kids we talked of love - now it's lumbago and social security!
It once was enlightening to simply discuss the weather,
But now it's a litany of...

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Age is just a number 
It's not a true sign
that one who is a senior 
is not in their right mind

Age is just a number 
it does not matter all that much
as long as you're...

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Ma and Pa don't get around a great deal much anymore.
If they pine to cut a rug, they claim their health is mighty poor!
Used to be that they were the swingingest pair around;
Now with all...

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‘Twas Christmas Eve, and grumpy Ana had
a crazy dream. She dreamed she was a tot
on Christmas! She and her sis had been bad,
so presents from their dad were not a lot!

The decorations were not on...

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The “Itis” Brothers
(Arthritis, Bursitis, Tendonitis)
Written: by Miracle Man 
10/30/2021

The “Itis” brothers, have a quite familiar name,
Arthr, Burs, and Tendon have garnered worldly fame.

All three have visited me, two had a short stay,
after medical encouragement they...

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Grandma’s aches affected her sleep;
She often made the help weep.
But at least she was regal -
Until pot was made legal.

She ditched Big Pharma
And moved to California
Now she takes pot
For every ailment she’s got

Indica for sciatica
CBD...

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I once worked with a youth who had gingivitis
Twenty years younger yet she already had arthritis

Pretty enough in spite of her dermatitis
She so craved attention we all thought caused by meningitis

Winters seemed worse with time...

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I don't even think about my Arthritis,
Since it was eclipsed by the pain of Bursitis;
And even that barely rates a mention,
Since my neuralgia over rides it's retention.

My fallen arches I barely notice,
Since the varicose veins...

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I've got aches and pains and chills and blains,
Arthritis, Bursitis and more.
If it weren't for this darn Sciatica,
I'm sure it would hurt even more.

I have dizzy spells, sometimes I hear bells,
I see colors and floaters...

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