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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required I feel I have appendicitis, Or a bad case of bursitis, And I think I need another tonsillectomy. I'm sure I got a staph infection From a tetanus injection While I was prepping for a hemorrhoidectomy. I've got cataracts and shingles, When I cough my kidney jingles, And my muscle tone's diminished due to entropy. I have a lower disc displacement, I need a knee and hip replacement, And I'm scheduled for my umpteenth colonoscopy. With my doctor's full compliance, I will donate my corpse to science To see if reasons can be found for all my maladies. No doubt that when they disconnect me, Vivisect me and inspect me, They'll find a host of medical irregularities, As well as hitherto unheard of abnormalities That may account for part or all of my infirmities, And might help to explain my PCP's enormous fees. Author's note: After reading Ilene Bauer's delightfully insightful "A Certain Age", once again I delved into my archives and disinterred this bit of nonsense from 2017. I apologize, dear readers, if any of you who might be suffering from medical conditions find it insensitive. It is certainly not intended to be so. Although I don't think it's been scientifically tested or doctor recommended, I firmly believe in the homeopathically therapeutic value of humor and laughter. And I know that after writing this piece, I felt better about my own health issues.
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