Long Abused Poems
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Broken down and hollow, up on the shelf.
I'm scared and ashamed, up here by myself.
Dreams of you holding me, are all I know.
I feel you enter the room, a hateful sneer is what you show.
Our relationship was going so strong.
I thought it was, or was it a story all along?
How many times have you gotten away with this?
How many times have you traded a lie for your own bliss?
I look around the room and look for clues.
How did I ever become the girl that gets abused?
Once smart, kind of pretty, and out spoken.
I never thought I'd be on a shelf all broken.
Standing there by the twisted, dead tree.
Wrapped in your arms, with you protecting me.
At least, that's the story you told.
My heart danced, when you were mine to hold.
I guess I had it backwards, I'm the toy.
You are the maniacal, bratty boy.
Takes everything and gives nothing back.
Its a conscience that you lack.
It seems as if I wasn't alone after all.
I look around and see what is hidden in the hall.
So many shelves with so many awaiting death.
Such a shock that it stole what air I had left.
Obviously you are a good liar to do this for so long.
Where did we all go wrong?
All my will is gone and sadly I still pray.
One of your dolls, I'll forever stay.
I have over 400 comic books
with groupings of
Wolverine, Dead Pool, Doctor Strange,
Carnage, Moon Knight, Spider-Man,
Godzilla, Batman, Hellboy, Spawn,
Captain America and Ghost Rider
so who do I select to follow and read the most
yes, it would certainly be the Red Skull
so why would I select this man of hatred and evil
to be my muse
why do I stack his comic books by my laying ground
why am I obsessed and enthralled by such a villian
it's because people see me as they see him
an outcast, a loser, a man on a mission alone
no, I am not evil, but my past jokes portray me this way
no, I do not hate, but my actions have painted me awry
I wear a Red Skull t-shirt everyday
and am thinking about getting a tattoo of him
so people will know that I'm an innocent child
blessed by God but hated by the masses
Captain America can try to take me down
I have a couple lives left to spare as does the Red Skull
we are not one
but we are the same
hated, abused, shunned and disliked
so spend your time drinking your tea
I'll be reading and enjoying my Red Skull comics
"How is it so easy for you to be kind to people?" He
asked... milk and honey dripped from my lips
and I answered," Cause people have
NOT been kind to me." Rupi Kaur
_____________
My path in life has been t a n g l e d from my beginnings-
I met DEATH at an early age and it seems he has followed me,
and as a quiet and shy child I soon knew all about bullies . . .
But instead of breaking me- it made me stronger!
I have a STRENGTH within that is unfathomable ~
At times, I have fallen into the pit of life and clawed my way out,
have been put down, abused, belittled, cast out, and forgotten.
But kindness has always d r i p p e d from my lips, cause kindness is the key.
_____________________________________
November 10, 2016 (Edit September 29, 2018)
Poetry/Verse/'Kindness'
Copyright Protected, ID 16-1065-791-0-(18)
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Only so many words
so many ways they can be heard
Every word ever used
Abused
So many ways they have been arranged
Rearranged
Deranged
Put this way and that
Hi, my name is Pat
When do our words run out
Nothing new left to shout
Sit there and pout
No new stories to write
All that is left is the fight
You just rewrite the old
Stories already sold
Every word
Already heard
Just twist it here
there
Without care
Nothing left to say
Same thing every day
Hey, I'm in a book
Have a look
A life time it took
But still the same
Lame
I know I'm to blame
I see tomorrow
Past all sorrow
Love you can't even borrow
Lost in plain sight
Hidden from the inner fight
Words is the curse
The worse
Grown up with an autistic view
In the well in which I grew
All I ever knew
I think
I blink
Longing for a common link
If nurtured right
With love as a light
Maybe out will come a beautiful flower
Something life seems to sour
By the hour
Lost in the sarcasm of what is real
How should I even feel
Hidden among the words I write
My only light
Nothing is ever right
Nothing ever wrong
Sorry these words are taken so long
Life promised me a song
But here I am still holding on to the light
Continue my fight
Words bombing my brain
Drives me next to insane
Maybe one day they will run out
In my brain, no longer shout
Peace at last
Going so fast
I see times past
So clear
Memories held dear
Some in fear
Among a crowd
The silence beats so loud
Waiting
Not hating
Relating
With what I know not
My heart beats so hot
People I don't understand
Life ain't that grand
My word
Still unheard
Lost in my head
Love never fed
Lonely is my bed
Trying to write them all down
So in them I don't drown
Waiting for the words to run dry
Tears one will cry
Don't know why
Madness
Is the same as sadness
Is sometimes gladness
One and the same
Whom is to blame
Wish to be free
What is left to see
Who am I meant to be
Drowning in the word
Never to be heard
It pains me to know that my baby is shy
Afraid to speak up, she lets her tears dry
I’ve been that little girl, mild and meek
Offended, abused, but dare not speak
I grew up ashamed, to be anything less
Or anything more than just like the rest
I hoped to be good, but feared being great
The resentment of shame, has filled me with hate
But Molly is different, her resilience, better
Agile, not fragile. She’s brilliantly clever
She observes the world in a rational manner
An optimistic spirit. Her horizons are grander
To find that, she too, houses demons within
The kind that tell lies, portraying a friend
“Don’t let them see, you’re vulnerable side
If you’re feeling too human, your thoughts, you must hide.”
It tugs at my heart, and scratches my soul
I resent those very demons and the joy they have stole
I wasn’t enough. My pain couldn’t suffice
But these brilliant bastards will hurt me twice
A hornet’s nest buzzes within her head,
nails her down with stings of poison,
head reels, gyrates and spins.
Hated, reviled and bitterly denounced,
cruelly slandered and abused,
at the scaffold, she stands!
A vast sea of people before her;
flooding out into places
farther from the centre
stretching as far as the eyes could see.
The milling crowd hoots.....!
The blazing sun darts down arrows of splint.
Her sky has shrunk into the size of an umbrella,
but giving no shade
Even the elements bellow her annihilation
She wants to cry out for help,
but her mouth, stitched shut like a wound
She feels the nightmare of a helpless fly,
caught in the web of a spider
Within her, swelled grief like a river
What wrong did she do....?
On being washed down
through the stinking gutters of poverty
like a worm she tried to crawl up!
While all other doors lay shut,
saw one with open hinges giving her easy access
She found a niche,
painted her figurine everyday
in colours of others’ choice,
and danced to the pull of the puppet master.
The siren sounds announcing her death!
* * * *
She closed her eyes
Sudden was the transmutation-
Heaven’s fire was lit in her breast
God has heard her silent screaming
The angels of heaven shall soon escort her
to a heavenly hall with aureate roof and glazed floors
and the celestial choir shall ever resonate in her ears!
Nov.18.2022
~ Placed Second~
Pick A Title. Vol.33. Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Edward Ibeh
Our current situation,
in the evolution of our species,
is one in which the ego has forgotten its true role in the psyche
and has usurped the role of central regulator. Carl Jung
Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself
is to forgive yourself
for not thinking and feeling and acting
like your healthiest self
on your best day.
Set yourself down in an empty therapy chair,
but keep your interdependent biosystem dancing,
choose your words to yourself kindly
with active curiosity
as your body reminds
rewinds
revisits
remembers
your listening empty-chaired mind
I'm exhausted by your confusion
about what you would actually need
to be healthy
and what you think you should want
to feel better about your lack of integrity
lack of compassion
lack of self-and-other-respect
lack of curiosity
and maybe something like
lack of reverence for life,
too much severance
from considering the probabilities
of a feeling-wealthy death.
I want to be free of your insatiable craving
to be appreciated
even by those you don't appreciate,
to be recognized
even by those you don't know,
and adored
despite your incapacity to feel adoration.
Why do you wander off
and leave me neglected
malnourished
dehydrated
bereft
uncared for
unappreciated
uncelebrated
unadored
neglected,
verbally abused?
So, please share with me,
what do you feel you personally need
as informed by your own past experience
on your best trauma-free day
doing your physical
and mental
and political
and economic
and social
and environmental
healthy
loving kindness best?
~God,Please Protect The Children~
(Star of David)
God
Bless all
The children
You know that they
Really do need You
The children are getting abused everywhere
Some children got no one that really cares
And some have no one to save them
From anyone wants to hurt them
That's why I ask you each day
Please protect them from everything
Don't let the children suffer anymore
I ask too much but know you can do it
Because You really care for each and all
They belong to You
Forever in
Your kingdom
I know
It
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2010
October.17.2015
~Author's Notes:
The "Star of David" is a poetry style created in 2010, by Dorian Petersen Potter, aka ladydp2000.
To lost friends
I have opened the window and inhale the summer
Some of the cottages I see, made of stone and lime are empty, their owners have gone home to their birthplace, where they died waiting for surgery, elderly they died of heart problems and of the dreaded cancer.
Empty houses are a sad sight, bought by those dreaming
of a peaceful retirement, spending time repairing their
homes and drinking red wine at sunset
When illness struck and old age beckoned, they went back where their heart belonged, the pub and the betting shop
what do I know, my home is where I live at the time,
but I do remember a childhood of poverty and need
and child labor.
I'm no longer sure if my youth was a dream or something I have read in books, I sometimes think I have spent too much time reading, or I didn't care about the past of sorrow.
I was in love once, but when rejected I nearly jumped
into the waterfall, but the water was too cold which
tells me my intention was not that profound
Year when abused by an orphanage while waiting for
my mother to come home from the sanatorium
I dreamily think of snow falling gently to go for a walk on overgrown tracks
God’s Planet
In the beginning God created the Earth
He filled it with plants and animals of every kind
Filling the oceans and building the mountains
He made a place for His favorite creation
Creatures that looked like him who lived in peace
Giving Him love, respect and obedience
Humans grew, changed and multiplied beyond His expectations
Single beings became unified clans
Clans became wandering tribes
The tribes became villages and the villages became cities
Cities grew and again the humans changed
They saw the world in a different way
The world was simply a resource to be overused and abused
Ancient forests were murdered for the wood for fancy furniture
The ground was raped for the gold and silver for vanity’s jewelry
The beautiful metals were replaced by rotting garbage
Humans had learned to use what he needed long before
Now, he has learned how to be wasteful
Animals and birds, human’s cousins, were killed for sport
Others were abused by humans who swore to care for them
The crystal clear air man and animals needed to survive
It too was a place for poisons more numerous to mention
Even the God’s gift of water was not safe from humans
The remains of plants and animals long extinct were used to power the human world
Thick coats of black oil and sludge destroyed the breath-taking wilderness
Birds and fish died so humans could drive to buy food instead of growing what they needed
More destruction at the hands of the human species
In the end, everything that God had given man was used, abused and destroyed
Humans had made their mark all across the planet
In the long term God will see what humans had done
He will see that His gift was something humans could not handle
In a flash animals and plants, shining oceans and the air will return
They will thrive on a new pure planet
In that flash, that millionth of a second God will know what to do
Humans, those who were chosen to be the closest to God
God will not even think of them after what they had done
And God’s virgin planet, His chosen world, will remain a paradise
All without man