Dad Limerick Poems

Pity all those rest home fellows

Over time their hunger mellows

With no dentures in

All their meals begin

Sipping soup and slurping Jellos...

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This morning tried calling mom to collude
Dad explained awkwardly pet care ensued
Later thought the answer quite abnormal
Having no pets the excuse seemed immoral
Given Dad said...

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Dad went to work on an egg each day 
Til one day the egg cracked on the way
Pants covered in yolk
It was not a joke
That...

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Sent a Valentine's card to my lover,
mentioned things we could do to each other.
Dad gave me a call,
"you're in for a brawl";
I had addressed the...

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  Sue was just a farmer's lass
  At whom I made an awkward pass ~
    She said, Let's have some...

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buddy here's a coffee factor

my dad drives a jumbo tractor

if you offer me

mugs of herbal tea

you will need a chiropractor.
...

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my mug's a foam treasure trove

see it caffineates my stove

adding sweet and moo

brought on sticky goo

glad i didn't add some clove
...

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coffee is a football mug

join me as i chug-a-lug

no matter the team

bring on the steam

serve it next time in a jug.
...

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in hills where buffaloes roam

i brew coffee in my home

excess grounds water cold

bitter stale much too bold

grateful when my wife gets home.
...

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“dad’s dad”


the fun in function is when do becomes does
less rungs than wrongs in one that loves
i cannot climb high in my family tree
i know...

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Will the house our cadaver impeach?
Mike's abused his freedom of speech
With head in the sand
Johnson takes command
Like a selfish son of a beach...

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When you sit in the front of the car
Then you know that wherever you are
You can see what’s ahead
(If there’s traffic, with dread)
And have views...

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Sue's livid with Mackie Avellen
He's ditched her for her bestie Ellen
I pity poor Sue
Not sure what she'll do
As her pregnant belly's now swellen
 
Now Mackie...

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It was an awful thing to do
Drop an SBD in the pew
Then cast a glance
As if by chance
That said “oh, God, was that you?”

John G....

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One sunny day little Mary Miller
Picked up a mottled green caterpillar,
Which became a monster moth. 
One fine morn her dad grew wroth:
Her moth laid eggs...

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