Kirk Poems

Limericks Written In A Country Churchyard

There once was a sensitive vicar,
who said, "I'm not one to bicker,
but the peal of that bell,
makes me feel quite unwell,
and plays merry hell with my ticker."

An incensed old soul by the spire,
preaching incense-igniting to the choir,
exclaimed, "There is but one catch,
when striking a match,
don't set your surplice on fire."

A parson spoke from the nave,
"Spend

William Shatner

William Shatner
to the Enterprise did matter
he played the title role of Kirk
and with the alien women did flirt

Big Kirk

There once was a man whose name was Jack.
Wasn’t well liked, he always talked smack.
One day at work,
He met Big Kirk,
Who taught him not to talk behind his back.

An Auld Kirk Yard

Seven beautiful lines contest, 
Sponsor Constance La France
Posted 21/3/25 

Through the auld Kirk gate in the churchyard wall 
The rough green field where my ancestors lie
Woodbine and ivy around the graves sprawl 
With Rosemary and rue growing nearby 
Where wild rabbits mutter when screech owls cry
Safe in the shadow of granite tombstones
A jewel I loved,

Captain Kirk

Captain Kirk had lots of nerve
Solving all things with his verve
Until he did split
And then had a fit
He now wore a woman's curve.

Note: Inspired by the Star Trek
episode Turnabout Intruder in which  Captain Kirk's insane ex-lover Dr. Janice Lester forcibly switches bodies with him in order to take command of the Enterprise.

Captain James T Kirk

Captain James T Kirk,
His duties he did not shirk.
Fictional Captain of the U.S. Enterprise,
Played by William Shatner, a name most recognize.

She Had the Cleft of Kirk Douglas

She had the cleft of Kirk Douglas.
It was decidedly brilliant on her.
It fit her mind and her attitude.
I watched it talk along with her mouth.

Where had she gotten such a cleft?
It is rare to see these days.
It was more fashionable in the forties.
I wondered about it for days.

I never saw her again.
But one time was

Silly Willie Ups a Dilly

The best 2021 perk
Was a space flight for Captain Kirk
An Enterprise
Where no one dies
Proving fantasy just might work

Kirk Douglas

Kirk Douglas
Star of Spartacus.
An excellent actor and movie star was he.
He lived to be one hundred and three.

5/11/21

Galileo To Kirk

Mayday, Mayday Kirk!
Transport to Galileo
Needs energizing

Running on impulse
All deflector shields are down
And venting plasma

Possible core breech
Romulan battle cruiser
De-cloaked and attacked

They've taken the ship
Corbomite Maneuver may
Be the last resort...

Rest In Peace-Kirk Douglas and Robert Conrad

Kirk Douglas 

Today we heard we lost Kirk 
Who never needed a shirt
Always a lovely flirt that Kirk
 Joining Moses in heaven
Who we watched in the movie way past eleven 
Hopefully God enjoyed their sound stage cheese
and now he is at peace 
Yes, we lost Kirk 
that lovely flirt

Robert Conrad 

We say good night to

Like Captain Kirk On His Way To Meet Spock

I got this rap rock while the hoochie on my sock 
Drop 
I got eyes to see & ears to here 
I shed a single tear to help numb the inner pain 
Goochie hand bag for my favorite lady 
Got to keep it clean like Scoobie Doo 
I bit off more then more then I

Captain James T Kirk

Captain James T. Kirk

Captain James T. Kirk
Beat Kobayashi Maru 
Genesis Project 


1.10.2017©deborah burch 

Form: senryu 
Theme: StarTrek

Ootcast Kirk

Aye and ’tis a bonnie glen

And for us the Laird’s enclave

Dinna fush the soldiers’ menace

‘Tis this moment that He gave.

And we gaither ‘neath the stars

And we tak the wine and bread

And we cleave with benediction

To each Word arr Saviour said.

This is Church

Mind not the dampness

And the laing hike to and fro’

For the Pastor of our

The Kirk Yard

This day is as peaceful to me, as the day has, been so long
As I listen to the birds singing just for me in their last song

Gone the summer’s greens, autumn’s leaves they descend
Critter’s out gathering their winter food, on it they depend

It is only times like this, to which I am at my most

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