Lately I’ve come to realize my definition of love
Is not about joy and completion and belonging,
But more about loss and longing
A sense of grief for what once was
But never will be again.
I don’t think this makes me unique
But probably not in the majority either.
I think of all this today
The one year anniversary
Of Charlie Kirk’s assassination
Because the shock of that loss
To all of US is still so raw,
A wound just beneath the surface
That may never fully heal.
This recognition of love
Bound up inextricably with loss and grief
Makes me wonder if I am still in the minority.
I pray I’m not, as I wish the best for this nation
And this world, but I fear I am wrong,
And the callous heart that celebrates hate
Is still on the ascendant and not decline.
What will it take for America and the world
To have a change of heart?
I do not know.
Maybe it’ll start with the sacrifice Charlie made,
But it still has so far to go.
(9/10/26)
Only rarely does someone stand up, rise up
And draw the multitudes in
Into the sacred space
That includes us all
And yet somehow eludes so many.
Such is the nature of free will,
We can all screw up, again and again and again.
What did Charlie do to deserve
To be assassinated? Nothing.
What did he do to bring it on nonetheless?
He met people as equals wherever they were,
He tried to raise everyone up,
And he did more to get out the conservative vote
Than anyone in generations, if ever.
Apparently, treating others as equals
And getting out the vote for your side
Is enough to get you killed
Because, I guess not everyone wants to be equal
Some want to be “special”,
With all the special rights that implies
And not everyone wants a level playing field
When it comes to politics and campaigns and elections.
What those people want
Is special privilege and advantage
And dead opponents.
So it is, and so it may be
But, if that’s the game you want to play
Be prepared to die a martyr
To a useless, meaningless, nihilistic cause.
It’s called a self-fulfilling prophesy.
(8/7/26)
Kirk is a rooster in a suit,
yelling “freedom”
while polishing his boots
so no mud ever touches him.
He’s all mouth,
no fight,
selling rage like it’s champagne.
Vance skulks in the corner,
smokes his own shame,
pretends he’s the last honest man
while sniffing nostalgia
and blaming everyone
for everything he hates.
Kirk’s dreams are neat,
Vance’s are crooked,
both lie like toothless gamblers
pretending their debts don’t exist.
Kirk waves banners,
Vance waves ghosts—
same emptiness,
different dress code.
They think they’re fighting wars.
They’re not.
They’re clipping feathers
off each other’s parrots
while the world burns
and nobody remembers their names
tomorrow.
Politics?
It’s just theater for men
who smell like fear and whiskey,
and both of them—
roosters or ghosts—
stumble drunk
on the same cracked stage.
TURNING POINT AT WAR
FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND MORE
HATRED AT THE CORE
Today CJK would have turned 32.
I remember turning 32…
I thought my life was going well
Even at a peak
When in fact it was in turmoil
And within the year would collapse
To be reborn again, anew and refreshed,
And open to the peaks to come.
Charlie’s life was obviously so different
Having been consistent and on track
And going from strength to strength
Apparently the whole time!
He seemed like a normal person
To other normal people
When in fact he was remarkable
And so has left a remarkable legacy.
Like many I think I will leave a normal legacy
When I eventually go, and
It will effect those few family and friends who love me,
But it won’t change a thing.
And I’m okay with that.
Charlie on the other hand
Has deeply effected hundreds of millions
And has thus changed the world.
I’m sure that would have made him proud
Humbled and awed.
And so today let us proudly
Don a red hat and celebrate
What we may have individually lost,
But the world gained.
(10/14/25)
Call it the Charlie Kirk effect
But for not being a Christian, recently
I’ve been hearing a lot of Bible quotes,
Quotes which I can easily take to heart,
Like the parable of the wheat ripening
In the field
While the weeds also ripened
All around.
It’s not a matter of just wanting one and not the other
And getting our wishes as if they had that power.
It’s a matter of recognizing both,
The difference in the seeds and their causes,
And appreciating how both the crop and the weeds
Are part of our nature, and both will be abundant
When we reach a crisis point of fullness,
Internally as spiritual beings as we struggle
To live the truth within our conflicted nature,
And externally as material beings as this conflict
Plays out in wars, domestic and foreign,
As both sides struggle for survival and dominance.
It’s easy to know which side will prevail
Since one side is of Life
And the other of death.
We might be self-deluded which side we’re actually on
But in the end it will be crystal clear.
Life and death after all
Cannot be confused.
(10/12/25)
CJK was American’s first true martyr.
And that in itself
Marks a turning point for all of US
Especially those in the cheap seats
Who usually care more about what’s on TV
Or how to just keep food on the table,
And shoes on the kids.
And when a turning point happens
Everything changes.
And when it happens
It happens for everyone,
Even those of US in the cheap seats
Who may have been unaware
Of anything else before.
(10/7/25)
Like many
I didn’t know until Charlie was killed
Just how much he touched
And even changed me.
I’m not a Christian but now that he’s gone
I can feel his absence, every day,
And it is like a hole in my heart
That I doubt can ever be filled.
When he was alive,
I knew he was uniquely special
But in his absence this uniqueness
Is magnified thousandfold.
He was remarkable when alive
But in death he is something else,
Something larger
Than a mere mortal life could or
Even should ever be.
No matter what he did and accomplished,
What he left
As a hole in my heart
Is what got my attention.
And it showed me there is always more than appears
Both amongst us and within us.
As they say, God moves in mysterious ways
Even when you don’t believe.
(9/25/25)
Let the light shine
And the dark will not recede
As much as become the light itself.
When the world is so divided
Tense and anxious and cloaked in fear
It’s essential to simply remember
There will always be a dawn.
Peace is not impossible
It is in fact simple
When we take a breath
And just exhale
Letting whatever we hold within, out
And letting a little more light in.
(9/22/25)
(“The Heart of It #4”, 2007, original oil)
(for Erika)
Yesterday you faced a congregation
That filled a stadium
And a hundred million homes
Shattered yet resurrected
Burned and reborn like a phoenix
And as we watched
Our hearts also broken
And needing to mend
You rose to the occasion
Bright, fierce, like a modern Joan of Arc
Armored and ready for crusade
Willing to show your broken heart
And the turning point of its healing
Through forgiveness
Yet all the time
Looking here and there
For threats and prey
With the eyes of a hawk
Hell bent on caring for its young
Young which in the moment
Included us all.
(9/22/25)
Sleep, dearest angel of peace.
The Lord wanted you home.
We do not why such love from us
was by a gun taken.
We will go on, till God says……
it is our time and turn.
Then we can see Charlie again and
With joy, dance,
Amongst the stars with great joy!
Be of good cheer, till we are in heaven!
By following God’s commands each day,
You shall never, by God be forsaken!
9/21/2025
Last night i dreamt
Of being around a dead Charlie Kirk
Strategizing with a small group of guys.
I was just there, like at the next table over,
And got the feeling that while it was clear
Charlie was dead, his advisors/friends weren’t.
It was fascinating to hear them talk of his death,
Its impact and the way forward.
The vibe was upbeat
Energetic and inspired
As I imagine it was when he was alive,
At least alive on Earth in the body he had.
I was just a fly on the wall,
But it was cool to see
The show must go on
And on indeed it does.
(9/20/25)
The so called far right, fight with words.
The radical left use weapons.
(for Charlie)
What is it that causes an atheist
To suddenly want to attend church,
And think, huh, maybe there is
Something there after all?
I can see a gradual shift
As doubt and inquiry worm their way
Into an open mind
But a sudden 180 is unusual.
For me in my youth it was gradual
A steady eroding pushed into a landslide
By a sufficient dose of lysergic acid.
But even then it took awhile to really admit
I had been so wrong.
Of course the first step is doubt of what is
Combined with certainty of one’s ignorance.
And as we grow we take these first steps
Again and again.
It warms my heart now right down to my core
To see the example of another human’s sacrifice
Washing out in waves,
A veritable tsunami,
Across the whole world.
No need for drugs to open our heart and mind
When such a prophet does it for us.
(9/19/25)
His legacy and legend grows and grows
~ transformed to poetry, a life of prose
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