The medic said lie on the couch
She swabbed my cervix , I said OUCH
It's checking for cancer
So I can’t be a chancer
For cervical smears I can vouch
I lay there with my legs akimbo
Butt naked I feel like a bimbo
My hubby needn’t fear
It’s just a routine smear
Not nookie with Peter or Jimbo
I think its's a total outrage
Girls are denied smears due to age
If detected early
It could have saved Shirley
And youngsters like Amber and Paige
In England cervical smears are offered to women aged 25 to 64. Personally, I think the age should be reduced as women in their early 20's have died as they have been deemed too young for a cervical smear screening. Whilst the test is uncomfortable it only takes a few minutes to be done and it could save young lives
* Third stanza added 01/15/22 -The names Shirley fitted the rhyme scheme and I've read about Paige Hart who was diagnosed with cancer aged 24. I've been made aware of Amber's Law and fully support the change of age to 18.
https://amberslaw.org/about-us/
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9952172/woman-cervical-cancer-25-smear-test
01/14/22
Categories:
jimbo, health,
Form: Limerick
I’m on the bed with my legs akimbo
Guess I’m looking like a wanton bimbo
My hubby needn’t fear
It’s just my routine smear
Not for nookie with my lover Jimbo!
5th February 2017
Categories:
jimbo, body, health, humorous,
Form: Limerick
JAN HAS A FAN
Jan Has no Tan
I once saw a gal called Jan
So sexy she made me ran
Straight to the vicar
Said marry us quicker
Whilst she drank her tea on the can
She is as White as pure Sand
I once met a gal in white dress
I fell straight in love I must confess
She was drinking her tea
While I stared at her knee
Surely my intentions she guessed
She Sips Her Tea Daily
I once met a gal drinking Tea
My heart was pumping in glee
From her nose to her toes
When she smiled I froze
So charming I become a devotee
While I Admire Her so Gayly
When I saw the lady in the white dress
My thoughts she I did undress
As she gazed out the window
She caught peeking Jimbo
Who was in quite the state of distress
I am a fan of the great poet Jan
There once was a gal who could fart
She refined it into an art
Her white dress in a breeze
Would lift till you sneeze
But she’ll always be my sweetheart
Notes: I just realized the title, as far as Jan is concerned , well could have a double meaning!
Categories:
jimbo, beautiful, character, dedication, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Whatcha gonna do if’n Famous Jameis goes pro?
‘tain’t nottin ya can do ‘bout it, Coach Jimbo
Dontcha know, da freshman Heisman winner’s caught da eye
Even da Giants’ Eli ain’t a-rankin’ too high
Butcha ya got ta give it ta dem dadgum referees
Dey even find ways ta yeller-flag Drew Breeze
‘tain’t sayin’ Jameis is apt ta go jest yet
But if’n he gets lotsa bucks, he may jest be a Jet
Shure, New York might be colder’n a witch’s tit
But yer brass bra in January, Jameis can fit
Tajh Boyd ‘n’ Michael Vic should be grindin’ der teeth
Dey ain’t fallen outta da ugly tree yet (look beneath)
Now Aaron Rodgers is so granny-slappin’ good
Dis’n deserves ta stay; it’s jest understood
Jameis is hotter’n' a goat’s butt in a pepper patch
Jimbo, ya best find a way dem pro offers ta match!
*Written August 25, 2014 for Verlena's Ebonics contest. Jameis Winston is
the quarterback for the Florida State Seminoles and he won the Heisman as a
red-shirt Freshman. FSU's coach is Jimbo Fisher.
Categories:
jimbo, football,
Form: Rhyme
Outa State Plates
Billy Bob and Jimbo’s jaws dropped
Along with Mrs. Miller’s porcelain plates
Caught in the act
Two fools perpetrating a dish stealing crime spree
Unsavory, onerous in nature, by the perpetrators
Smashed to bits were dishes and windows
Scattered about the basement floor
The old widow’s china lay destroyed
Add Breaking and entering to the charges
A total disregard for the keeping of the peace
Not to mention the deprivation of sleep
The Sheriff cornered them there in their get away
Escaping with a salvaged plate or two
“What are you boys up to?”….ventured the law
Stunned, short winded, and caught, they replied;
“We like the pretty designs on these things officer sir.’
“They have fancy writing too.”
“We were just borrowing them for a while….thank you.”
The old lady enlightened the gathering
“They’re priceless antiques from Germany!”
The Sheriff took Billy Bob and Jimbo away
Charged them with stealing outa state plates
Categories:
jimbo, education, fun, image, innocence,
Form: Free verse
A angry sky, as cauld as Loch Lomon'
fair drew me out from cot o' peat, an' bed.
The wolves wus wailin', an' thund'r respond'd
Ah gather'd tam, me tartan, an' dug Red.
To 'orse ah took an' found the 'erd sam 'urt.
The 'ungry wolves 'ad already fed.
Inta the bi'er blaw, the rill ah skirt
thro braes a white, t'ward ham an' fire burnin'
the bleatin' sheep, the 'orse an' ah alert.
We wud mak it hame, stomaches churnin'
O smell the peat fire on the wild wind now,
'ear the cows faint distant ca', a lowin'
'erself wud know, we'r near ta the brow.
Noo, we 'ad beat the storm hame, an' kep' me vow.
Dedicated to Jimbo Goff & James Fraser
and the spirit of Robin Burns
See About the Poem
Categories:
jimbo, absence, culture, faith, farm,
Form: Terza Rima
A Sanctuary of Serenity and Security
I know everyone loves the soup
But it is to be followed by a dinner
Where are the varieties of my poetic group
Trying to find them scrolling” Poems-New” ever.
Where’s Carolyn, I heard, Growing Green Again
A classy, gentle, and sweet lady Linda, soup’s flavor
While the Sun God spreading the light over the domain
I remember you spreading light on the soup ever.
Oh there! Carrie, Andrea, nette, Debbie, Joyce and Sara Kendrick
Craig, Richard, Giorgio, Jimbo and harry never to be missed
The humor of Don, Shar and Char, C.L. and Bob Hinslaw quite quick
Constance, Wilma, Judy and Joe, scarcely seen but today not missed.
Happy to see you all after an absence of two years
One and all, new and old, ever green P.D. accept my cheers.
Oh, Yasmin, where is my special dish of Kichdi-curry.
After the soup, can’t wait more , I’m much hungry.
+++++++
Date 30-10-13
Dr. Ram Mehta
First Place win in
Contest by Yasmin Khan
Categories:
jimbo, celebration, community, tribute,
Form: Rhyme
The smell of fresh baked bread
Knowing the hungry are fed
Sculpting an ice block into a swan
Crying profusely when it is gone
The different pastry tips to decorate,
A seven tier cake for a bride's new mate
The flambe flaring in the saucier's pan
The joy inside,from a customer's extended hand
A look of awe upon a new student's face
When she asks sincerely, how to keep up the pace
Teaching to cook completely from scratch
The proofs in the homemade Yorkshire Pudding: that opening cans, can not match
Dedicated to James Marshall Goff ( Jimbo )
Categories:
jimbo, education, food,
Form: List
Rain slowly trickles
Dribbles from blue asphalt roof
Wets ink 'pon page
"Twas dry dull work written by
The old poet as tears did flow
For Jimbo
Categories:
jimbo, life, nature,
Form: Tanka
James is my name with its historic meaning
An important king bore this name
Carrying it to its royal fame,
One reason why this name I’m esteeming
King James gave us the Bible in English
For which I am so proud
I say the words low or loud
But I could never speak Yiddish.
In the holy writ, more than one person shared
This name so renowned.
Oh, how she loved its sound ,
The name Mama always declared.
My uncle called me by a nickname;
He wanted to call me Jim
But Mama had words with him
She told him that JAMES is my name.
So family and friends, all my life,
Called me what Mom named me,
For that was her earnest plea.
Substitutes pierced her like a knife.
But I had a livelihood and bread to win
There, co-workers gave me a moniker
For which they would prefer—
They called me Jimmy or simply Jim.
Other aliases have been most replete,
Such as Whimpy, and Daneymoco,
Else, a-k-a, Hey You, or Jimbo.
Regardless, I will always come to eat.
For the "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" Contest
Sponsored by Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.
Categories:
jimbo, peoplewords, me, me,
Form: Enclosed Rhyme
Where have you been! you silly man!
don't blame it all on tryptophan!
Maladies from Malta mutATE and Gur G....itate!
as Jimbo watched the Vikings dominate!
It's true my kind heart is totally fake!
football first sweetheart!.... hope your fever breaks!
Dear Charma, you've got snow! make an ice-pack!
it's almost halftime!...... then I'll be back!
And if you grow weary of my attitude!
I'll level a few notches, and be a sweet dude!
The Ref blew his whistle!.... #4 is quite grand!
our sinking tag-poem is back on dry land!
So without much ado!
no need for a chorus!
I tag you my friend, Miss Culverhouse! Please Doris!
(Phyllis tagged John, John tagged DaneAnn, DaneAnn tagged Charmaine, Charma tagged me! and I tag Doris!)
Categories:
jimbo, funny
Form: Limerick
‘James ‘Jimbo’ Marshall Goff ’
There Was A Gentle Man, Known As Jimbo
Who Had An Exceptional-Voiced, Poet-Lingo
That When He Spoke To The Trees
They All Dropped Their Leaves
At The Autumn Song of His Classical-Soul-O
For Jimbo ... Because of His Depth of Soul
Tenderness For Nature
Strong Convictions, Multi-Faceted Triumphs
and an All Around Good Guy
Your Poet-Friend, MoonBee
Categories:
jimbo, allegory, friendship, peaceautumn,
Form: Limerick
Hey Girlfriend, Get Your Hunting Nose
And While You’re at it … Get Your Hunting Clothes
… that’s Right ‘ Hunting ‘
We Going Hunting …
I’m Headed out to The Westridge Mall
Its Friday Night, Time to Have A Ball !
… and Go ‘ Hunting ‘
Yeah, Hunting
Pick Up The Others … Is A Six pack Enough ?
Yeah, You’re Right … We Better Pack The Truck
… and Go ‘ Hunting ‘
Big Game-Hunting !
It’s Hunting Season … This Must Be The Spot
Hot Dang, Sister ! … Look What I Just Shot !
… Out ‘ Hunting ‘
Happy ‘ Hunting ‘
Hurry Up … Don’t Let ‘Em Get Away !
I’m Staying Here, Holding This One At Bay
… Done ‘ Hunting ‘
Great ‘ Hunting ‘
Hey, He’s In Your Sights, Girl … Just Point and Pull
Bring Down That One … He’s So Beautiful !
… Look At Him ‘ Hunting ‘
Uh Huh, He’s Out ‘ Hunting ‘
Hey... You Crazy-Humor-Loving Guys ... Moses and Jimbo)
Hope You Enjoy This One ... It's from MoonBee's Clubbing Days
Smile)
Categories:
jimbo, allegory, cowboy-western, funny, happiness,
Form: Light Verse
Ma cowboys un me been ponderin a way
Tryin ta figgers ur chores fer tha day
We thunk, un we thunk, finally Jimbo sez
"Times cum fer us ta chooze sum ones ta tags"
Nows who ut cud be's air 'nother thin.
We's paces tha floor er work went undid
"Jist who's kin ut be's" asks Billy tha kid
Tha hawks thay war circlin', Tha buzzards war too
Wonderin what ut war wrong with er crew
Jist bafor Cookie tha chuck bell did gong
I's finalies figgers oot what war wrong.
We's ain't never been oot un pub-lik much
So's I's takes oot my lariat an gives er a toss
Ut lans round Samuel, I's sez "youse tha boss
Ut air up ta youse what one we's does picks"
He ponders a spell, than cums oot un sez
"Whatch thinks bout er frien, Carol Brown."
I's sez "Doggies that air tha one"
"Gal frien we's loves ya"
Carol Brown --youse jist been tagged.
Categories:
jimbo, adventure, cowboy-western, friendship, funny,
Form: Verse