Funny Hyperbole Poems

Jingle bells
and reindeer smells -- 
note to Mrs. Clause: 

before Eve-trip, to reduce
scent and slip, no beer
and sardines for Rudolph!

That damn Guiding Red-nose
needs to find...

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The Glass Ceiling

“Woe there sister, where do you think you're going?
 Turn around, go back, stop, cease, desist!
 Nothing for you above my see-through barrier....

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The mourning dove’s perch coo signals he’s alone:
Calling to another as a life-long mate,
searching to find a love he can call his own
and form a...

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I used to wonder
If you remained 
Completely comfortable
Would you ever wake from sleep
It brings to mind the value
Of slight discomfort
Causing you to wake
And live your...

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Funny, it is how witnessing the root form of greed
Can cause an otherwise healthy vision to bleed
Humorous is a poorly conceived disguise
So much so that...

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A kiss on the forehead
Is a gesture of betrayal
It's not a kiss of love
Filled with joy and humor.

It would be better to kiss a dog
Which...

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A Ziplock bag of cut-up hot dogs, treats for my daughter's Huskies
Two gallon jugs of 1% milk, both nearly empty
Three bottles of dressing, ranch from...

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I was outraged at the affront.
                   ...

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Beastly Betty badly breaks her brother’s
Buttocks with a bat upon his butt.
Broken, beaten brother barely bothers
Bellowing at bawdy Betty. But

Because bad blood between both babe...

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I wandered lonely as a cloud—Oh dear!
I watched the dance of daffodils—Oh my!
When on my couch in vacant mood I lie
And feel their wealthy fluttering...

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So they told us to all lock down,
and stay inside for months on end.
They savaged the economy,
I guess that it was all pretend

since now thousands...

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Our Summer's too hot; our Winter's too cold
Our Spring is too rainy; Autumn's withheld 
Just hear me complain -- I'm sure sounding old

Our Summers are...

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I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze

soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted...

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The Perfect Omelet  

I think I'd like an omelet
so please find me a giant pot,
a half a dozen fresh kumquat
and don't forget the cheese.

Add...

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