Lyric Humorous Poems

'Here-comes-The-She--riff'/'And-his-second-trusted-Deputy'
'They-chea-ted-and-were-shot-de--ead'/'By-the-new-Ma-yo--or'/ 'Bob-Mar-ley'

'If-their-left-foot-takes-an-in--nch'/'And-their-right-foot-takes-a-lengthier-mile'
'Hand-law-a-forty-fi--ive'/'And-make-that-bestnerd-hop-with-a-smile'

'Your-dancing-half-you-spun-le--eft'/'You-alone-with-Suave-south-for-a-drive' 
'Not-as-Missing-Per--sons'/'Posters-as-being-Wan-ted-Dead-or-Alive'

'Your-thrones-King's-and-Que--een's'/'The-Court-Jester-made-his-sweet-sixteen'
'Queen-is-expec-ti--ing'/'King's-glad-Jester-fa-ces-le-Guil-lo-tine'

'Judges-and-Ju--dy's'/'This-here-courtroom-is-in-repossession'
'Gavels-get-rea--dy'/'And-assault-with-deadly-precision'

'Guilty-as-cha--arged'/'Throw-the-book-at-um-as-they-cry-out-ouch!'
'Innocent-is-set-fre--ee'/'After-those-they-accused-gouged-their-eyes-out!'

'Kamala-is-the-fel--la'/'Lady-Justice-like-the-blindfolders-spawn'
'The-Justices-all-wa--atched'/'As-U.-S.-Constitution-burned-on-the-lawn'

'Pu-tin's-confus--sion'/'Non-goes-front-or-back-of-fic--ti--on'
'Tales-from-Tsar's-wo--ods'/'Rasputin-Myname-front- or-back-a-muse'

'Biden-casta--Net's'/'And-Yahoo's-all-over-Is-ra-el'
'Joe-cuts-China-tea--time'/'Pekoe-dives-inside-Starbuck's-swimming-pool'...

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It's Saturday night at the old town hall. The Caller’s voice crackles through the loudspeakers:

Ladies and Gents, square your sets,
Now join hands and circle left.

Ladies’...

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Indigo shades the western light,

Amber suffuses Shaman’s sight,
Mottled moans of a whispered soul,

Bellows churning Phaethon’s coals.
Embrace the night-birds warbled song,
In chanting verse that lasts not...

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Humorous Patter Sayings

Bow to your partner now let's begin
Lift your skirts and kick his shin 

Hold it tight and jump and cuss
Don't worry you can't...

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Senior Bells
            Senior Bells 
I wish my ears would stop ringing

Senior bells
  ...

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Single cell, single cell, single cell lock
Single cells king and single cells bring
Throwin' and blowin' few pushers of some
Now the single chop has begun
Single cell,...

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Out from the 'Chop Shop,' breaking laws,
"Speed bumps, Hoods!" Scold Grand Mamas,
Found with the blacksmith made lots of noise,
Served an acquittal now kissing boys,

First comes...

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This is how I’m supposed to be,
I’m not messed up, can’t you see?!

Always compared, sick of this all,
Chitter, chatter, have to stand tall.

Constantly feeling misunderstood,
They...

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Old Macdonald’s learning vowels… E…  I… E… I… O...

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Maybe I didn't listen when you told me
Your heart was gentle and kind
Maybe I didn't understand, but you could
have shown me...

All the reasons you were...

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In the city of gilded glamour,
slow motion is seen as an outsider;
a slip of tongue is as common as mocking grins! 
They turn around and...

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( To be sang to the tune of - " If You're Happy and You 
        Know It......

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Wherever I find a hole
I attempt to fill it with poetry: 

the pocket, the heart, poetry
my go-to
mending part~ 

no seamstress should do
without a lyric or...

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[ to the tune of If I Only Had A Brain from The Wizard of Oz ]

I know she will soon be blushing,
Because of what...

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(to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from the musical "Mary Poppins")


When grandma got her mobile phone
At first she struggled so,
But when she reached new milestone
She couldn’t...

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