Mother Hilarious Poems

Destiny good Destiny bad
Destiny bring out the Best in Me Destiny know I ain't got a phone
She give me one call me incessantly

I met a...

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This is insane. This is unheard of a president
Behaving like that. Yes, he deserves a prize
It's a great honor to lead a country this size
Be...

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The Washing Machine

Trembling, writhing in pleasure!
Upon which arouses without measure,
As it was, as it were,
The washing machine, upon which sits thy mother!
Behold! A sight unforetold!
This...

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The beautician frowns in the mirror.
She stops combing.
I think she has found a tick.
I get them frequently. I live in the country.

Why would you have...

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ROMANCING A MONOKU HORROR STORY

I could watch a horror movie; but, only if you would hold my hand
As all the scary bits would frighten me,...

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Political correctness because we can’t be offended 
We want freedom because freedom is splendid 
Speaking my mind and you don’t like it, 
oh and you...

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Mother asked her big brother to pass the sugar;

big brother ruined it by splashing on liquor;

father rued spilt liquor by throwing his jigger

that hit sister...

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- Girl, girl, please one
  piece of bread...!
- Bread, hello, I don't have ... i have caviar
  sturgeon... !
  - Gee, girl,...

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when the night ends, morning Sun rises,
just as the day gives way back to night,
Obvious there are no surprises!

the river runs into the ocean,
flowing down...

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Since I can't say the words that I want to use
We r going to have a little fun and light the fuse
I don't give 2...

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I am going to be rich and famous,
everyone will know me, my name in lights!
Great! Where will you start?
Will you be a singer, dancer, artist,...

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My mother does not believe in snow
When the news mention that it will snow
She thinks it must be a hoax or worse a conspiracy theory

Philadelphia...

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The cat was crazy, so we named him Craze Meister Threes. 
He was irrational, a fire ball who took down Christmas Trees. 
Why did you...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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My mother did not know what hit her when she agreed to travel with me
She had forgotten that I can transmogrify folks, so it is...

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