Husband Hilarious Poems

I could get hit by a truck tomorrow
It might drag me a hundred and fifty-six feet
My head could get crushed
I would want to die.
My husband...

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COMPARTMENTALIZATION 

Friends, absolutely believe why
not in the “Loony Bin?
Compartmentalized my stresses, 
so messes … not get in!

Compartments help me remember,
one illness at a time.
Must do...

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When I was a child I spoke as a Child!   
 As a StoryTeller things changed, and I still speak as a child
A...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill

This was never in dispute

It was how Jack fell down

With severe lacerations to his crown

That the jury had to...

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I am allergic to greens, so none of that will do.
It is my persnickety picky-eating cousin, Lulu.
But surely you are not allergic to lettuce, I...

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Hal is a catfisher.
He has had lots of dates this month.
He cannot believe how fast women are these days.
They practically tear your pants off.

He poses...

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Her husband sought to love her, soft and gentle
Even though her thoughts were completely mental





Killing With an Epigram Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Margarita Lillico 
April 24,...

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Camping on the sandy shore of the beach
Getting bored by the waves and their screech

Sitting around the camp after cooking out
It was so much fun...

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My husband is torn.
He wants a clean house.
But he loves our big puppy.
The chewingest dog in the whole dang town.

He says I guess I should...

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Living on a little farm
In the Western NC Mountains
Means experiencing the cock-a-doodle-doo
The Moo-Moo-Moo, the meow and woof
And finally, the gobble-gobble

Each one of our barnyard residents
Find...

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Does an eager hand feel a throbbing heartbeat truly divine
making a lover's promise under a swaying, balmy pine?
Why look at blinking stars that aren't amazingly...

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"Fartastially yours," he says as he shoots them out like a gun 
I pinch my nose in disgust and then I speed out like a...

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What could be funnier than standing in a corner,
Staring at the wall, while your spouse watches crazy.
This wife of a husband, I was like a...

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There once was a lady sweet as corn
Who had beautiful looks adorn

Her husband said to thee
That he would agree

But surely not in the early morn!...

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Who is your favorite family member? Jerry Stringer asks me.
I look around the stage and out in the audience, seeing many expectant faces.
My husband, three...

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