All I want is you there for me;
Not hesitant, desperately!
So, make me a promise,
Today for tomorrows:
Let our hearts’ rose,
Ever be –
I hate that I hurt you.
How could I?
Tears were dropped with
Our future inside.
How could we know a certain forever would become an "It's enough"?
Enough pain, enough never-ending loops of what we should do or what’s best.
Fish biting tails.
My insecurities drove you insane.
Maybe insanity is what gave you patience and faith.
My ups and downs, you got them all.
Arms wide open, a warrior with no shield,
No protection for Sir "I’ll give you all of me."
I needed a step forward, to look at all those taken behind with a new light.
Yellow memories, warm sunlight.
The sound of laughter and two hearts melted into one.
Thank you for the tries, for seeing who I am.
Yes, Lady Hesitant ran away.
Bad or good decisions,
We’ll figure out soon.
Meanwhile,
Our past souls remain
In the realm of love,
The only thing that never ended,
The only place where it will live.
h ~e~s~i~t~a~n~t
heart introvert
sober shy silent
a-b-a-s-h-e-d
Love's flirty wink.
Healing heart, cautious.
Give in to temptation?
Date written: 02/23/23
A big conclusion by tomorrow I must hurry up and reach.
It's about what I am to ‘do’ with my doggy “boy, Billy ‘Blue’.”
Half-wittingly I just keep vacillating between two notions.
My mind is ‘churning’; my thoughts ‘turning’ like a tsunami.
A bouncy cute but "crazy critter" is making me feel so daft.
'He' may ‘BE’ in control of ‘ME’, a “bungling fur baby’s” Mama.
Do I give him back this Monday? Oh, I need to decide by then.
No ‘napping' for all his ‘yapping,’ but “his eyes” are "so sweet!"
Sept. 25, 2022
for Joseph May's The A's Have It Poetry Contest
(I sure hope I did this right!)
vaccine they do have
others vaccine hesitant
or vaccine hostile
Slowly, treading softly
I must guard my hesitant heart
Taking forward moves with caution
If any rebuilding is to start
I'm still wading wounded waters
Tidal waves of fear and doubt
Self-restraint and trust, a struggle
The gash was deep, still trickling out
Like a surfer prepares to meet the challenge
I still have roughened edges to smooth
And sturdy boundaries to set in place
For risk of further pain still looms
The waves of healing will ebb and flow
And unpredictable these endeavours may be
So too, I must master the skill to 'ride the ripple'
And find the blessing in the balance indeed
November 21, 2020
It’s as familiar as the beat of your heart—
the echoing claps of heels on the floor,
a swift rapture when the doors open.
I almost feel like the clouds give way
and I look the sun in her eye.
The euphoric feeling the ocean embodies
when night meets day.
The glow multiplies with each step,
as does the weight on my chest.
So many words and feelings
compressed to a nod
and a casual smile in return.
Pictures of a different world
develop in my mind.
One in which I tell her
how beautiful she is, but
that’s not half of her weight in gold
and I’d like to see it all.
Then the treacherous ping
of the elevator and I realize—
it’s time to get off.
Sometimes, i wonder what i'm doing here
Far away from my friends old and dear
Hesitant and reluctant to let go of my past
Which i can feel behind me fading fast.
As i sit here, fully lost in thoughts
I can feel my heart turn into knots
When i think of the girl who i once was,
Bubbling with joy and in a jolly waltz.
Swallowed by the usual crowd,
I struggle to make myself loud
But even amidst this buzzing lot
I find myself feel distant and distraught.
But even in this grave situation,
I see a glimmer of hope and satisfaction
Assuring me somewhere deep within
That i wont just yet give in.
For this contest I’m asked to abide by the rules
and thus I sit and pen my thoughts obediently
but cannot check the renegade’s sweet rebellion
Limit cussing and cursing:
however I am told that people who swear are profound not profane
No erotic poetry:
but once Eros is tamed Thanatos prevails says a slippery Freudian
New poem:
yet life is a cycle and true stories have no beginning
Date name and sponsor:
A fig leaf instead to hide sensual muse
Cursory token when flipping salvation
Blame the prompter for devious words
Is imprecation blasphemous?
Is romance risqué is erogenous lewd?
Concession for praise where it belongs!
Conclusions:
I vow to wash my mouth with lubricant . . .
Copulation extrapolates couplets and rhymes . . .
I’m grateful for rulers because they help with the lines . . .
30th May 2019
Contest: What makes you flinch
Sponsor Julie Leigh Rodeheaver
Her soul feelings for him are all balled up inside
She cannot get out the words
She does not run
Yet she can hide
Here he comes again
The man she thought she had fantasized
Yet here he is in the flesh, the man of her dreams
That man
His soul feelings for her are all twisted in a knot
He dares not speak for he might be rebuffed
He passes her gently
Keeping his feelings inside
They pass each other every day for years
Neither speaking
For they both have such fears
When a "hello" is said at last,
Eyes are rapidly averted away
Neither staying to talk
Neither staying to play
That hello which could have been the start
Was simply another barb
To each of their hearts
One finally could not tolerate it
And moved away
Without explanation
They did not pass the next day.
HESITANT DREAMS
The impatient gates of
Expectations,
Opened wide before the
Hesitant dreams,
And
Begged them, forward to rush,
For to
Cross the threshold of
The awaiting reality!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
14 APRIL 2013
Aye
and to sigh,
yet never goodbye...
our reluctance to say..
to close..to leave..
to part..to kiss
farewell;
weider-sehn ,perhaps
au-revoir..later..
see you..wave..then watch
'til
we turn away
and cannot see
no more...
Aye
and to sigh.
An unusual brand of happiness,
The release of lettting go.
A rush of realization,
Maybe finally you know.
A glimpse of something better,
Came shining through his eyes.
Accepting this fresh exhilaration,
Whilest praying against lies.
Distinguishing between sincerity
and that familiar self-destruction
Gets harder with every heart-break
and each eventual obstruction.
As I wander this earth in total darkness
I wonder if your really here.
Theres a feeling of emptiness and fear
that guides me towards total loneliness.
I’ve allowed you to see my thoughts.
Yet I’m still hesitant to believe in you.
Are you really there for me completely?
Or have I allowed you in so inadvertently.
Oh help me, help me if I’ve been caught
With my heart left open so innocently,
For it was not my intent to be had so easily.
I do believe in the words you say
yet your sincerity at times frightens me.
I am hesitant to release myself completely.
Cause of the unknowings of your loyalty.
Hopefully there will be a day
That I can trust you and your authenticity.
I‘m left to decide if I want you in my life
Cause your search for my heart has struck a chord.
Yet my mind has to deal with my daily strife
and I still worried based on my recent accords.
Please allow me the time to understand you
for it is me that refuses total familiarity.
Not you my friend, not you without a clue
that deserves my honesty and harmony.
Will you permit me some time to accept you?
For this would allow us to live in perfect unity.
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