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Hesitant Heartbeats

Would it be too much 
If I told you
I missed you? 

What if I said it 
While 
Lying in your shirt? 

Would your heart 
Be fluttering 
The same way mine has been? 

Like it has since 
The moment I knew 
I was going to get attached

Where happiness 
Was my soft sighs 
Falling deeper into your arms 

And rhythmically 
Swaying 
My foot 

As I had 
your heart beat 
In my ear 

And my leg 
Resting
Across your stomach 

Like a boat 
Dancing on the waves 
Of your breathing

And I didn’t want to 
Stop feeling the motion 
Of those waves 

I wanted to be selfish 
Quietly whispering 
To the sun 

To go back 
To sleep 
For a few hours 

So I could omit 
Responsibilities 
And keep your arms around me 

While daydreaming 
About where 
This will go 

A summer montage 
Blending into 
Our birthdays 

From playful arguments
Teaching me to drive stick 
In your car 

Getting drunk 
And showing 
All sides of our soul to each other 

Like admitting 
I’ve had conversations 
With your parents in heaven 

Showing them my scars 
My past mistakes with love 
But how willing I am 

To risk everything 
To keep 
Your heart safe 

How I would turn 
your demons 
Into distant friends 

Showing how your insecurities 
Hold no weight 
In my eyes 

Watching you 
Do fun yet foolish things 
With your friends 

To forget 
The world 
Exists for a moment 

Reading all the poetry 
I wrote about you 
While we lay on my couch 

With your head in my lap 
Running my fingers 
Through your hair 

And as the months pass by 
I steal your hoodies 
To keep warm 

While you smoke 
A cigarette outside 
When you first wake up 

And your ashes fall 
Onto the faces of 
Autumn leaves 

They all appear 
On your ceiling like a movie 
As you snore lightly next to me 

I smile nervously to myself 
At the thought 
Of sharing it with you 

Would you feel the same way? 
Or am I in over my head?

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