This is an ode to John and his iconic bucolic pub "the Golden Smog" up in Stockton on Tees..
What makes a proper pub?
Unity in a community hub
Immunity from the hubbub
With others shoulders rub
Opportunity you can’t snub
Our own homegrown club
Bubbling banter from the bar
In the cellar need a stellar star
Other views & hues don’t scar
Ales & tales so far above par
No-one argues or does spar
Clinking & sinking another jar
John a helluva fella just say ta
No bigotry is all he does ask
No hate lurking behind a mask
A sisyphean or herculean task
In the company of others bask
No sip from a hidden hip flask
Cheers to beers from the cask
Where the weekend will begin
Delaying within escape the din
Time to spend with ken and kin
Getting you through thick & thin
Whetting our whistles.. chin chin
A third place where a grin will win
To miss this bliss is a cardinal sin
A home from home just staying in!
Let’s get set for yet another reset
Tiffs with each other riffs of what ifs
Definitely brother not your best bet
Wallow mounting mountain of debt
Follow internet fountain jet of regret
Caught in vaunted haunted silhouette
They tighten the net frighten bloodlet
Swallow your pride or with ease can forget
Beset our society on its knees under threat
But won’t get het up…so please don’t fret
Wild child.. don't the proverbial bed wet
Implore ignore being a bore.. the teacher’s pet
Or commuter the computer your tutor & suitor
Just be a looter and a future freebooter cadet
Don’t now vet all the people you’ve met
Vow over the small stuff you won't sweat
Don’t tease somehow have a tete a tete
Pleas to seize every day the appetite whet
Might not be a breeze but helluva wheeze
Cos tomorrow could be your best day yet!
In the lovely town of Bonavista,
a smart business lady named Krista
serves coffee and tea
and most folks agree
she's really one helluva barista!
This smart business woman named Krista,
who lives in the town of Bonavista,
wears bright stylish clothes
so everyone knows
she's a barista and fashionista!
A shouting senile old fool tanking in the polls trying to save his a-rse.
It would take someone a helluva lot smarter than Joe to gaslight me.
I want a car, an older car, a 56 Corvette
That will drive down the highway miles, speeding fast with no regret.
I want a car that's sleek and smooth and gives one helluva ride.
An old car that knows its stuff and can do a "Hollywood Slide".
For those of you who aren't
Musically au fait
Let me describe to you
How to set up gigs to play
Despite your best efforts
And the preparation done
Inevitably some snag
Will bite you on the bum
You lug in all the gear
It weighs a helluva lot
Only to discover the stage
Is the size of a table top
Only a single power point
Is available for you to use
Leads are strung up everywhere
To trip on as you choose
Tension is running high
As a preliminary strum
Causes feedback squeals
But the worst is yet to come...
The mics are on the blink
The lightings really dim
Someone breaks a string
It's pandemonium!
Coconut, coconut
Brown and hairy
Trying to crack you
Is bloody scary
Holding you gingerly
And fairly afraid
I set to with gusto
Wielding a blade
And once I succeed
I'm flush with success....
But I see you've shattered
Into a helluva mess
What just happened yesterday
Must have been dreaming I guess
Met a beautiful stunning young lady
Left me in a helluva mess
Always thought I was in total control
But she knocked me back on my ass
Drooling from my gaping mouth
A totally out-of-control mess
Can't believe her feminine guile
Don't get me wrong, I ain't complaining
This is what love's all about
It belts you hard on the side of the head
Always prided myself in keeping cool
But exceptions still do happen
If you'd asked me a couple of days ago
Can't imagine it slackening
Just goes to show you my dear friends
No one's immune to the love bug
You could be as old as a hundred and six
Still affects you like a drug
What just happened yesterday
Must have been dreaming I guess
Met a beautiful stunning young lady
Left me in a helluva mess
Always thought I was in total control
But she knocked me back on my ass
Drooling from my gaping mouth
A totally out-of-control mess
Can't believe her feminine guile
Don't get me wrong, I ain't complaining
This is what love's all about
It belts you hard on the side of the head
Always prided myself in keeping cool
But exceptions still do happen
If you'd asked me a couple of days ago
Can't imagine it slackening
Just goes to show you my dear friends
No one's immune to the love bug
You could be as old as a hundred and six
Can still affect you like a drug
Her hip was decidedly dickey
She was not as flexible as before
Various joints were complaining
She had trouble getting up from the floor
She was not as young as she was
Bits of her were definitely aging
Inside she didn't feel any different
But the outside was certainly fading
So it was time to get some help
It was time to stop mucking around
Before her get up and go had gone
Some form of exercise had to be found
Yoga seemed the logical choice
She welcomed it with warm embrace
Soon she would feel twenty again
Dream on! If only that were the case
The poses were near on impossible
With names like ‘warrior’, ‘pigeon’ and ‘tree’
Every muscle she possessed rebelled
She desperately wanted to flee
Would anyone notice if she left?
Could she creep out the door unseen?
Thankful for a moment’s distraction
She speedily fled from the scene
So if she wasn't going to exercise
In order to be able to rise and shine
She was just going have to live with it
And drink a helluva lot of wine
Late to the doc
I ran the last block
Was about to enter
when right in the center
of the office
there she stood
my old flame
My brain went a-reelin'
the room spun around
I saw 'twarn't no use
to put my head down
and pretend it was over
'cos Lord knows it was not...
Twenty years later for lovers
just ain't a helluva lot
Morrison's musical Doors close ~ he opens up a helluva gym
BIG FRANKIE.
A bank robber named Big Frankie Mulqueen
In the bank he walked armed and looking mean
An old dear took him to task
For not wearing a face mask
Embarrassed he quickly ran from the scene...
ROUGH RIDE.
This last year's been one helluva rough ride
Covid has been a pain in the backside
No sneezing or spitting
No hugging or kissing
And it's affecting everyone worldwide...
MAXINE.
There was an old women called Maxine
Last week she had the covid vaccine
But when she woke up in bed
Found she'd grown another head
And her hands and her feet had turned green...
CHINA BEWARE.
If you're travelling to China beware
To test for covid your bottom is bare
You'll sure shed a tear
When they probe your rear
Just ensure your wearing clean underwear...
Written 25th May 2021
A mouse you say
As if to denigrate my worth
make of me something small.
Knowing nothing of my heart,
my will, my daring, my courage.
You see me as weak.
Have you ever risked all
To bring food to your family?
Outrun a snarling barn cat?
Stealthily snatched the cheese
from the springing death of a mouse trap?”
You know not the trepidations
I wrestle with, feel not the fears
I overcome, hear not the song
within my soul. And yet
you judge me
not knowing that I
am one helluva mouse.
©5/21/2021
Personification Poem 150 Poetry contest
To devout Roman Catholics I posture as Pope,
but that's in no way the end of my scope.
Zealous aspirations I daily inspire
by promising to deliver the coming Messiah.
Bible-belt believers in any doubt or suspense
are soon reassured by Vice President Pence.
Proud boys, not famed for their devotion to God,
stand by in the street awaiting a nod.
Just in case your sympathies lie with the Devil,
to you I can promise a helluva revel.
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