Best Helluva Poems
One pitch black night I was driving home and was ready for my bed
My usual route was closed for repairs so I took the minor road instead
I was just approaching the old derelict mill that was over to my right
When out of nowhere a lady appeared dressed from head to toe in white.
I tried to swerve but hit her head on and it gave me one helluva fright
Thought what was she doing alone out here in the middle of the night
I quickly jumped out of my car and dialed, nine one one on my phone
And thinking that I might have killed someone, chilled me to the bone.
But there was no sign of her and I feared she was underneath
I caught sight of my face in the cars mirror ; I'd gone white as a sheet
I quickly got down on the ground and used my phones torchlight
And I started praying to God up high that the poor lady was alright.
But she wasn't underneath the car and thought was I going insane
The wind was howling loudly now and brought with it heavy rain
I was all on edge, then got in my car and had the life scared out of me
When a loud voice said " operator here, what's your emergency"?
Something Spooky 8 to 16 lines Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Written 5th October 2021.
Categories:
helluva, car, dark, humor, scary,
Form:
Rhyme
Makes me furious seeing a woman with a bruise over her eye.
The smeared mascara from the tears she's cried.
Pain he's caused, scarring her inside.
Silent Prayers are whispered into the night.
You're under one helluva spell when you don't tell.
You're not well when you accept being put through hell.
It's been awhile since you've focused rself.
Staying with that man is simply bad for your health.
Because of him there is so much life you've missed.
How could you love a man that mistakes a kiss for a fist?
He's not stable; definitely not mentally okay.
If his idea of "love" is to physically harm you in such a way!
You're under one helluva spell when you don't tell.
You're not well when you accept being put through hell.
Stand up! Free yourself from those emotional chains.
No more scrubing shirts from blood stains.
Your world will be a happier, warmer place.
No more heavy makeup covering your pretty face.
So be strong now and walk away.
Live to love "you" and your children another day.
Categories:
helluva, introspection, life, recovery from...,
Form:
Free verse
I can't help but laugh, because you thought you could get over.
You followed me down the path through the garden of the four leaf clover.
You kept a bag of tricks, and hid your true feelings well.
I raised my crucifix, and rebuked you back to hell!
See, I keep my enemies close, and I don't expose my hand.
Just like a wilted rose, I avoided you through our desolate land.
You kept up at a steady pace, and I allowed you to slowly follow.
I recognized the mask on your face, and the taste of defeat, I refused to swallow!
I should've expected, when you watched every move I made.
My goals were unaffected, I just dusted myself off, and put on a band-aid!
It is you who looks back at the situation, seeing the friendship you lost.
Your treachery is an abomination, and your back stabbing came at a helluva cost!
Ears are for hearing, I heard you whispering to a friend or two.
I emerged from the clearing, and I never imagined the back stabber was you!!!
Categories:
helluva, inspirational
Form:
Couplet
There are things that I'm going through that no one knows of
But it’s written on the walls of Egypt
I gotta read your phrases like 10 times and I'm not checkin for grammatical
rhymes
I'm adding up the I love you’s and I wish you were mine’s
I'm trying to keep my eyes from watering because you make me want to erase
love and start over again
You make me want to re-evaluate the one that I'm with and flip the script
And see if I love me as much as you do
Boy let me tell you.
I love you
There have been days I wanted to call and say just that
But I know there would be more to the story
I couldn’t just tell how much I adore thee
I couldn’t just say it and think that would be it
I know that would be the moment that could make your heart say o’shiit
I need to make this move
Even though I'm with another dude,
I love you
Aint the type to break up happy homes
Especially since both of us are trying to prove them wrong
I don’t want to make a mistake
I don’t want to be the one to walk away from all I know
To fall into the abyss of mystery
Cause I only know you as a friend you see
Yes it flatters me that your thoughts are tattoos beneath my left breast
Yet I can’t get to that yet
I'm still stuck with your reflection as my shadow in the vanity
I'm still forced to deal with the fact that you may truly love me
Why did I wake up this morning and come to work
Sitting in my office with a hell of a smirk
I can’t even front…
I been goin’ through some shiit and I wanted tell you
But I can’t because there is only so much you can do
You may be my guardian angel
But it’s gonna take a helluva Monarch to get me through
And trust me I'm not saying you’re not capable
Let me stop there
We parallel on a plane headed for eternity
I'm the money you are the security
What more do we need to add to this recipe?
O yeah…I guess that would be…u and me.
Categories:
helluva, black african american, friendship,
Form:
Blank verse
Ode To A Former Wild Life
Drank too hard, rode my horses too fast
didn't give a damn if my body did not last
Midnight was a bell for me to pour it on
get wasted until my head felt like a stone
Pretty gals, O' how they spun my wheels
woo'ed them as I pleased, made no deals
Passionate nights spent dancing in the bed
plenty of time for sleep after I am dead
Life was just a big box to rip'er open
bigger thrills , prettier gals I was hoping
Once a spirited mustang, wild as all hell
wildest things I did I dare not to tell
Memories good or bad often can not decide
yet one thing is sure, had one helluva' ride
Memories good or bad , often know not which
yet having none at all would be a real *****!
Robert J. Lindley , 04-18- 2015
Categories:
helluva, change, goodbye, growing up,
Form:
Rhyme
I want a car, an older car, a 56 Corvette
That will drive down the highway miles, speeding fast with no regret.
I want a car that's sleek and smooth and gives one helluva ride.
An old car that knows its stuff and can do a "Hollywood Slide".
Categories:
helluva, car, old,
Form:
Rhyme
Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.
Country Bob's was the last place that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave me a glance,
Smiled and said, "Let's dance.
Honey, I'm ridin' if you're ropin'."
A few hours later, I was in a Helluva mess
She was still ridin' hard and screamin', "God, this is the best!"
I was dizzy and light-headed. I had pains in my chest,
But she wouldn't stop long enough to call EMS.
When I came to, I was home in my own bed,
Next to my lovely wife; and this is what she said:
"I picked you up at Country Bob's, my dear;
And there's gonna be some changes around here.
You were fantastic last night, so, I only think it’s right
If I supplement your diet with Viagra and beer."
Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
She treats me like a king,
Says I make her body sing;
So, she makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.
Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
Yeah, she makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.
We're like newlyweds.
I need a break sometime.
She can’t keep her hands off me.
Categories:
helluva, body, desire, drink, fantasy,
Form:
Lyric
A TRIBUTE TO MY FRIEND.
Warriors, brave in battle and honorable at home
we pray they find their most just reward.
To Heaven departed, no longer will they roam
We lose them and find its always SO hard!
As God in Heaven holds out his merciful hand,
they touch, to now charge him, defend our land.
As they look down to this land they so love,
We gaze up, praying they await us in Heaven above.
Rip
Michael C. Crowe......
Note: He was my friend from back in my youth(ancient times it seems now)....
One of the --good-- tough guys that was never a bully.
We once argued seriously over a girl(that year later she became my first wife) but
we never came to blows.. I had no fear and neither did he..
Guy was as tough as nails and a Marine Corps veteran in the early 1970's.
Sad to only find out this morn of his death and funeral. I would have went..
If you click on the link and see his picture, imagine him 40 years younger and
built like a tank,strong as a bull and one helluva boxer.
Married his wife early 70's still married to her at time of his death.
I salute his service and note my great sadness upon learning of his recent passing..
http://www.democrattribune.com/story/2254768.html
Michael Crowe
Monday, November 30, 2015
(Photo) TRUMANN - Mr. Michael C. Crowe, 63, of Trumann died Sunday, Nov. 22, 2015 at the family residence. Mr. Crowe was born in Dyess, and had lived most of his lifetime in Trumann. He was a veteran of the US Marine Corps, a retired construction worker and of the Baptist Faith.
Categories:
helluva, absence, appreciation, courage, dedication,
Form:
Rhyme
Hear the clip-clop of iambic beats
Sounds like Shelley with a side of Keats
Is that the scritchity-scratch of a goose quill flickin’
Or just the tippity-tap of some mouse you clickin’..?
So you a prophet poet, regular Marley meets Dylan
Writin’ about oppression and unjust killin’
Shootin' the Sheriff with a Reggae song
Inspirin' your generation with a sing along
A shot of tequila with a wedge of lime
Saddle up and bide your time
Every line don’t need to rhyme
I can give you a million examples
You don't seem like the lyrical type
Kickin' cold turkey with oranges ripe
That's the fruit that rhymes with nothin’
Fresh squeezed it's good for somethin’
Citric flashback, Tang for the brain
Hyperspace wormholes one cannot explain
Sun dippin' below the rim of a rhymeless plateau
Cow skull and cactus, a timeless tableau
In the twilight gloom, a weather-beaten sign
Free Verse Ranch is the place to dine
Gorge on rhyme-free wordplay victuals
Linguistic linguini and cage-free visuals
Specialty of the house: lemon chicken couplet
With a side of mashed onomatopotatoes--plop!
Gravy sloppin’ down slopes like molten lava
Washed down with mugs of fresh-brewed java
Buzzards circlin' the sky in a lazy ellipse
Moon moseyin' in for a total eclipse
Flee in the dark, take a steed for a ride
Jump the split rail fence to the other side
Leap back in time to a buzzin' hive
Looks like the vortex, circa 1995
Can barely think amid the din
Perfect time for the ‘shrooms to kick in
Tie-dyed girl where I left her spinnin' in place
Band still playin' a trippy Drums n Space
But how strange that I cannot feel my face
How did twenty years vanish without a trace?
Tumbleweed twirlin' down the rutted street
Empty rocking chair swayin' skee-reet skee-reet
'Taters still steamin' like a mini-volcano
Room reeks of whiskey stronger than Drano
Spilled orange juice tricklin' a fly-food slurry
Someone cleared outta Free Verse Ranch in a helluva hurry
The clip-clop of iambic beats, Sheriff on my tail
He wouldn't shoot an unrhymed man, would he?
Categories:
helluva, adventure, poetry, word play,
Form:
Rhyme
Well, it appears we're gonna have a choice between Hillary and Trump.
Personally, I'd rather see for president Mister Forrest Gump!
At least Forrest has attributes that are attractive to this voter,
You know, stuff like honesty and not a chest-thumping self-promoter!
With Hillary and Billary at the helm, Lord have mercy on this nation,
And likewise with Trump who has a propensity for creating consternation!
Where are the real leaders like Reagan, Truman, Roosevelt and Lincoln?
With Hillary or Trump in office we'll be in one helluva fix I'm a-thinkin'!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Categories:
helluva, humorous, political,
Form:
Couplet
Got my lip busted
It's been one helluva night
Got to old too fight!
Categories:
helluva,
Form:
Haiku
THE SOUTHPAW
By Roy Merritt
This kid has a helluva arm
The coach he told the scout
And if we could get him
to get it over the plate
He'd strike all the batters out
He can throw it really fast
Over a hundred and twenty per
You might not believe what I'm saying
But that's the truth dear sir
He doesn't have a curve ball
No slider or a change up
But if you're standing at the plate
You better be wearin' a cup
That's our biggest problem with him
This kid is really wild
And all those who have to face him
Turn into a little child
And if one comes whistlin' in
And goes anywhere near their head
They start swingin' at anything
Facin' him they dread
Now the scout he was a cynic
The story was always the same
We gotta a pitcher you should see
He'll make it to the Hall of Fame
And so the southpaw he took the mound
And started to loosen up a bit
And then he saw the batter in the box
And this kid was biting his lip
Why is that he wondered
Why does he look this way
Why is he hesitant to take his cuts
And put the ball in play
And then the scout he found out why
And came to believe what the coach had said
Cause the southpaw threw one wild and
By God knocked off his head
Yes indeed his head came off
Right there at the plate
I know it's hard to believe
But that's the truth for goodness sake
And so the ump he followed it
As it rolled all over the ground
The stadium stood deadly silent
You couldn't hear a sound
And finally at last the head stop rolling
And the ump picked it up you know
And so held it aloft
He really was a pro
He held it there eye to eye
Lookin' it square in the face
And shouted aloud “You been walked
Now batter take your base!”
Categories:
helluva, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
THE SAILOR
There was a young sailor from Rothesay
Sailed his yacht around the bay of Biscay
But a storm sunk his boat
He's no longer afloat
And the wind blew his life raft away...
EDWARD GUMP
A parachutist called Edward Gump
Went up in a plane to do a jump
The ripcord got stuck
He said "just my luck"
Hit the ground with one helluva bump...
FREDDIE
Did you hear about old Freddie O'Toole
Considered to be a bit of a fool
Hee waznt two brite
Cudent reed ur rite
That is what happens when you bunk off school..
ICELAND
Now Iceland has some unusual sights
P*n*s. museum and the northern lights
The museum for the bold
The lights a sight to behold
Which ever you choose enjoy their delights...
TOO MANY TO MENTION
Old father time moves too quickly I fear
I hope you all have plenty of good cheer
Whatever you do
I'd like to wish you
Merry Christmas and a happy new year...
Iceland has a museum dedicated to the male anatomy,
mainly animals but a man in the U. S. is donating his
manhood when his time is up.
Written 21st of December 2019.
Categories:
helluva, christmas, humor,
Form:
Limerick
The fall roundup, Old Brown Ranch in 1976
Sat below Cathedral Peak, Calamity Creek was running slow
A mule deer behind almost every cedar tree
Old Juan was getting ready for his day of tricks
It was early in the morning, he wanted everyone to know
Pots and pans clanging, it was even three
Oak wood camp fire, coffee was about to boil
Good chill in the air, frost everywhere
Juan was making his dough for camp bread
Fed the cowboys like they were royal
Best eating I ever had, I swear
Always wore a long red apron, silver belly hat on his head
His menu was always the same, beans, taters and steak
Didn't speak English or Spanish, he mumbled and grumbled
Always was in a good mood, except when he was mad
Cowboys never complained, even if he made a mistake
Cowboyed all his life, until that old pony stumbled
Then took to cookin, the wreck messed up his leg pretty bad
He was the chef in his outside cowboy eatery, top of the line
If you were expecting fancy, Juan was not formal
In a Dutch Oven, he could make one fine cherry cobbler
Juan did like a bit of that old wine
Guess that was his way of trying to be normal
Juan Ramos, helluva a camp cook, if you could keep him sober
Categories:
helluva, cowboy-westernold, old,
Form:
There is an old ranch outside of El Paso in New Mexico
No windmills, not a drop of water, sits on the Mexican border
No horses or cattle, not a cowboy does it employ
Used to be a working cattle ranch, but that was long ago
Now a lot of outlaw, no law and order
Now it is just the Devil's toy
The old ranch house, the window are painted black
All run down the fences of barb wire
Bones of ghost cattle lay in the sand, from cattle mutilations
Used in ceremonies for the Devil's attack
The witches dance and chant around a bon fire
Human sacrifices are taken as donations
Cowboy hat, boots and spurs, are gone by the way
No round up or rawhide on this outfit
In the tall mesquite dunes, a "sweat lodge" is where they worship
always carry on by night, never during the day
Where "The Head Witch reigns, don't think that she will ever quit
Booby traps galore, so you had better not slip
A multi million dollar cocaine shipping factory
Hidden off in the brush.under lock and key
Shipped by railroad, by air and Interstate Ten
A Helluva a tale and quite a story
Where "muling drugs" got it's name, when brought in by donkey
Don't get caught out there, you might not get back
Now for the scary part, if the other was not bad enough
When you think our Southern border is safe, well think again?
They are protected by the police and the United States Border Patrol
Telling us they are fighting drugs and it is tough
And the war on drug, they are going to win
How can they when the Devil has their soul
Categories:
helluva, cowboy-westernold, old, drug,
Form: