Last life is when werewolves
Lived long although heavy-hearted,
And so slow to trust
Whoever had thirsty thoughts—
While weak—bit by
Tiny tight bit through throats
To steal-suck their black blood.
In time an arms length away
I flew into the bird cage
Seeking a nest, following the others
As we connected and made it homely
The bars changed into windows
And doors
Then a place where we were all happy, together
Now, after two years of friendships, new and old
The cage-turned-community, near-sighted
Closed its eyes and turning away from the inevitable
Then the day hit 25
Everyone, dressed up
Dancing our hearts away
Turning blind eyes to the looming warmth of hottest season
Then the lights turned on
And the music stopped
Our hearts stopped too
Our eyes losing their lids, forced to witness the end
Our hearts, reminiscing
One by one, each bird left the nest, heavy-hearted
All unready, some with resignation, some with acceptance, to migrate so soon
Some flapping off together in search of new things
Others flying off to new nests
Even some soaring off alone
Leaving the hollowed nest
For the next generation to find and transform
So even if we meet new birds and find a new nest
We will never forget Our Nest
It starts behind the eyes, a quiet pressure,
No permission asked, no invitation sent.
A sudden, salty, heavy-hearted measure
Of moments that I thought were fully spent.
I am walking, breathing, doing what is needed,
When gravity shifts inward to the chest,
And I am forced to pause, however unheeded,
To let the burning, broken waters rest.
These are not the screams that set a spirit free,
But slow, stubborn thieves that drain the light.
They slip down silently, drawing what used to be,
A cold, unwelcome shadow in the bright.
I hate how they blur the faces I am loving,
How they steal the voice and make me small,
Just a traitorous, quiet, involuntary sobbing,
Against the sturdy, high, and hidden wall.
Written: July 19, 2025, for contest Sponsored by: Mystic Rose Rose
Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us every day
**************
Specters in the Wind
they are still here,
gathering in powerful gusts,
heavy-hearted and somber,
riding the crimson breath of night,
as embers drifting through the air.
They converse through the storm swell;
their laughter loops in lilac breezes.
While their sorrow seeps into the earth.
Not gone,
but concealed in mist, in the veins of tree bark,
and the birthmarks of stone.
They traverse the wheat that sways in the wind.
Their footsteps forever frozen in time.
Every echo is their letter.
Every shadow represents a phrase,
from the script of spirits
who refuse to depart.
Their touch resonates with the rumble of thunder.
and their sigh becomes woven
into the seams of daybreak.
They don't sleep; they swirl.
They don't flee; they flash.
They don't perish; they delve deeper.
Every time you speak their name aloud,
you awaken to a tempest in the skies.
"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." Rumi
John 4: 20-14
Words from the list: heart, river, eclipse, shiver, cold, tender, lush
Heavy-hearted searching for something,
Seeking solace
Slowly walking
Down to the river
Feeling cold, shivering
Plodding through
The lush, verdant
Damp undergrowth
Chilled to the bone
Down at the river
My spirit revived
While absorbing
The bubbling water spray
All those negative ions
Turned the spirit on
I could feel peace
A joy in my soul
His presence near
Eclipsed my troubled soul
Then the hand of Jesus
Touched me tenderly
He drew me in
Oh, what joy that filled my soul
Something happened and I know
I have that river flow
Happiness can be elusive, no matter how hard you try
No matter how much you give and how long the lie
One day you’ll awake and begin asking yourself why
But for Heaven’s sake, I never thought I would cry
For happiness is in the heart which often leads the way
Always being the biggest part in often leading us astray
When will I ever learn to just close that broken door
For by now I simply yearn to not hear it anymore
But I can’t change and my heart is well aware
Saying “you tried to derange, so now fair is fair
But back then I didn’t care, so wrong, I admit!
The both of us standing bare, neither willing to quit
Then in staring each other down I began to notice
He too was wearing a frown, one I could not miss
Making me finally realize after all of those long years
All those broken down cries were really all his tears
Stretched out on wing of weariness,
The total collapse of the flesh.
Arms and legs, limp and pitiless.
The world’s escarpments hurt..enmesh.
Come to me, says the one buried…
Who rose from the grave. Likewise grim,
With heaviness, her soul carried
To the foot of the cross…to Him.
The death bed’s a feather, so white.
Her guardian angel plucked from
her largesse…quintessence takes flight.
To heavy hearted, He says Come.
Decomposing in shallow grave,
But not so the soul…it is brave.
The body dies, an end to its sojourn,
The soul transcends to another region,
A treasure is gone,
For this, we mourn.
Are we prepared for the inevitable?
Can we keep the music pleasurable?
Knowing that the souls of the departed abide,
Though from our view they hide.
If only we could see the departed,
Hear them tell us how they fare,
Perhaps we won’t be heavy-hearted,
Perhaps we would have glad memories to share.
The afterlife is not an illusion,
It’s not a script conclusion,
It’s beyond a transient reverie,
Though our deeds could weave the eerie
April 5, 2023.
Free Submission Poetry Contest,
Sotto Poet.
One by one she climbs the stairs
At the top, a bright light awaits her there
Waiting at the top, by ones that passed her by
Their arms opened wide waiting for her to arrive
Those left behind, heavy hearted, weep and cry
A white light radiates as God opens his gate
Adorned with a halo and wings of gold
A new angel passes over Heaven's threshold
The church bells chime fifty times
The number of years we had one so dear
Living on earth amongst her peers
Giving us her love through out the years
Now, from above she resides
In Heaven, waiting for us to arrive
Alcohol sitting in my veins now
Foggy brain
Grieving day
Days run together
Now that the barstool holds me
My mind shouting her name
Never going to lose that love
Even now that we are away
Away from each other
Going our own
Going our own way
Heavy hearted I am
I take that glass full
Washing away my pain
But it’s too late
Too late
Cause my pain ain’t going away
If I am my truest, most pure and complete Self
when I feel happy, light hearted, and free,
when I feel depressed, heavy hearted, and stuck,
who am I?
If this is the end of a few years' stint of feeling real - of being real-ly alive...
What does that now make me?
If it can be this easy
to fall away from mySelf -
to lose mySelf,
how do I get back to Me?
If I'm not here,
where am I?..
How strongly do I believe
in my own existence,
if I don't believe
in only existing..?
That's all I'm barely doing right now..
I really don't want to be a dead-weight on the World.
I want to be a part of its buoyancy..
I see occasional glimmers of
Me on a good day,
twinkling like a hopeful star
through a brief gap in a grey night's cloud..
I don't know if that gives me hope
that I've not gone too far,
or makes me sadder that
I'm rarely around..
If it can be this easy to lose Me,
can I also be easily found?..
Why when heavy-hearted
I simply rise above
Share the best of me
Guess I believe in love
Push back the curtains; see my hungry heart
It cries for love, yet no one seems to hear
For far too many have been drawn apart
And future aspirations seem unclear
A heavy-hearted world consumed by grief
Believing, still believing joy will come
Though hope’s been captured by a heartless thief
That leaves an empty seat once used by Mum
Our brothers, sisters, children gather round
To mourn the passing of a precious life
But in my heart, some comfort I have found
From friends and family with blessings rife
I’m thankful for the loved ones who remain
May they restore our spirits once again
Cleaned and shaved thinking that’ll do
out and about running blue
Tempted by the light that natures gives
Beckons to heal my soul -
to no avail
An empty course flies through my veins
Little left to guide me sane
Depressed in the light of day
Chained to darkness wrath’s, I lay prey
Escape my reality, with smiles on my face -
to have the weight of reality way in -
Heavy hearted I fall
The day you died you took me with you,
The way you lied shook me black and blue.
The sorrow you felt, I sure felt it too,
Are tomorrow dreams won’t come true.
All the good hello's turned into dying goodbye's,
All the sorrows burned holes into my dying eyes.
You thought you were so sly, but I always knew,
You fought so hard to die and knew I needed you.
Depressing mornings and nights of pure hell,
Horrible memories and unforgettable images,
Of the night which you fell.
Deprivation of your soul saving wonder,
Trepidation of your whole wavering thunder.
Heavy-hearted moments will forever be burned with in my darkened weeping soul.
Broken-hearted and left in this cruel world all alone.
Unheard thoughts engraved in my ugly soul,
I feel as if I'm loosing all control.
Forgiveness with a burden,
Forever i will hold.
Bleeding and burning and
living and dying....
Needing and turning and
giving and crying....
I try to smile but I'm afraid I've forgotten how,
Even in my dreams the angels they do weep...
BY: SHANTAE PAPPACOSTAS
ORTEGA-ZELE (1-29-20)
Sub Categories
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