I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic stud
Why's my body giving me flack?
A strange bump just formed on my neck
Don't think it was there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in all other ways
My body is falling apart, bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this aging tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
I feel like I'm still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If only I could control my bowels!
Categories:
geezers, age,
Form: Rhyme
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic stud
Why's my body giving me flack?
A strange bump just formed on my neck
Don't think it was there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in all other ways
My body is falling apart, bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this aging tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
I feel like I'm still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If only I could control my bowels!
Categories:
geezers, age,
Form: Rhyme
With my girlfriend in tip top condition
To film sex scenes for late television
She got sick in bed
So I went instead
And was heckled with spiteful derision
Well their laughter had made me feel silly
As I stood there butt naked and chilly
They said, “Get a hair dryer,
Or an electric fire,
For you sure need to warm up that willy.”
The director called three naked geezers
Who he said were real audience pleasers
Then he looked at my lot
And said, “Let’s get this shot,
With my new close up lens… and some tweezers.”
Grabbed a sock and ran home in the nuddy
And I tripped in a field, wet and cruddy
But I’d slipped on the sock
So my girl got a shock
When just one bit of me wasn’t muddy
*
That’s my self respect gone for a burton…
Then the morning sun shone through my curtain
I awoke in my bed
“Only dreaming,” I said
But I took a quick peek to be certain
Categories:
geezers, humorous,
Form: Limerick
My marriage; in danger
No wife in my bed
She slept with two geezers
In our cattle shed
I did suspect one guy
Of making her stray
She does what she pleases
Much to my dismay
The problem with knowing
Is she often bakes
So now I say, ”Jesus,
That means no more cakes.”
And yes it displeases
That her roaming eye
Has found a new lover…
Like Tracy and I
I’m sat eating cheeses
For breakfast today
My cooking ain’t clever
And she’s gone away
Then sounds from the stable
I found my wife there
But she was with Tracy
And they were both bare
Categories:
geezers, humorous, marriage, parody, wife,
Form: Rhyme
idi amin; hitlers sins..stalin pharoah ceaser many geezers
Primed with power, poor agendas always a lender' tied together masses heavy levered; watching' the gates and schwab scoros schwartzenegger.colin powel mengle mussolini and xi. I'm out on on putin..yet no disputing..'No
War is peaceful.' Many descriptions sow deceitful.' Poor
White people..Poor black people..Take the burdens observe
Not the curtain' (or woven web) world net..Spider set?
Marvel do you? Yet maybe not? That information speeds.'plans in feeds? For Nations mediums false-prophet-less.) Souless! Attack the wholeness..Human need
Not bettered by greed' I also address one point.' I confess
That might be right? Of all above brokers above ( most are
White) priviledged white people? Some Swiss are ' or other?
And if that changes? Will there still be grift.? I call for
Jesus..Who alone can lead us ' suffered while in power.)
So fine His mission.' Deep decision..Religion is broken.' By
His body By His pain. He who walked the earth..Who smashed the reins.' Now hell is open..Look and see.' Turn
Away don't take part..Let His Love set you free.!
Categories:
geezers, confidence, courage, encouraging,
Form: Free verse
I hope to be primarily
a man who suffers minim'lly.
Furthermore, I would hope to say,
I might improve another's day.
So, I do not harm yours truly,
or hurt other people, unduly.
It's easy now, as an old bloke,
a few decades, and I will croak.
I am single, my son is grown,
and I live by myself alone.
I am happy with who I am.
In that regard, I am a clam.
If my independent son needs help,
he only needs to give a yelp
On the other hand (I just have two),
I might be challenged anew -
one more test for this old rover
would be if my love life's not over...
which could open Pandora's box.
I would have to change my socks.
Then, I'd need to look deep inside,
preventing tears from being cried,
gracefully, swallowing my pride,
my conscience being my guide,
opening up my heart so wide,
being always on her side,
ready and able to turn the tide,
to not into old habits slide,
I would need to clearly decide
to moral principles, abide,
generously I would provide,
faithfully, 'til the day I died...
but geezers rarely take a bride,
and I will take my life in stride.
Categories:
geezers, age, relationship,
Form: Rhyme
I have heard of crows and crones
But these old geezers are overblown
over dressed with suits that squeak
beady eyes, scrawny necks, and beak
are they from the barnyard then?
Their necks all wrinkled to their chin
I have heard of crows and crones
But these are ugly as crawdad gnomes
it’s weird you say that said the chicken
they are abnormal roosters, hearts a tick’n
we call them Slim and Slam for fun
They walk real slow, neither can run
They appeared out of nowhere in the fall
They are scrawny and weird added pig Paul
They do not talk, whistle, peep or talk
Weird to even us fowl, added the chicken hawk.
Categories:
geezers, bird,
Form: Rhyme
Your grandma dates! This seemed odd to me.
My grandparents have been married since ’33.
We do not call her that, the good sport said.
She is sassy and perky; her clothes are fashionable said Ted.
What do you call her? I ask my friend.
“Gigi, or Googoo, both are accepted in the end.
Or Gixie or Glama,” his brother chimed in.
I finally met her at a pool where seniors swim.
She dressed in fancy clothes, wearing nylon hose.
Her ankles were shapely, and she had a cute nose.
Two or three old geezers were waiting to take her out.
Are they okay with this? I asked. Or do they pout?
Categories:
geezers, grandmother,
Form: Rhyme
Wife’s hair was blowing when they took their ride.
My hairdo is awful! Said Mrs. Goosy McBride.
Her old geezer husband said “wish we had stayed inside.”
No longer cherishing his time with his bride.
They are grumpy for sure, said a neighbor who saw.
She is a doctor, and he studies boring mortgage law.
They never smile or party or wave or act friendly at all.
Their persnickety stuck-up attitudes are rather small.
Categories:
geezers, 1st grade, 2nd grade,
Form: Rhyme
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome charismatic dude
Why's this body giving me flack?
Strange lumps have appeared on my bod
Don't think they were there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in other ways
My body is falling apart bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this ageing tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
Yesterday I was still pretty hot
This can't be I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If I could only control my bowels!
Categories:
geezers, age,
Form: Rhyme
Stores were decorated lavishly for Halloween
A precursor to the extravagant Christmas décor
Seems like Thanksgiving slips silently in between
Almost like it’s not a holiday anymore.
A precursor to the extravagant Christmas décor
Should be cornucopias and some pilgrim hats
Almost like it’s not a holiday anymore,
It’s hard to find Thanksgiving, think of that!
Should be cornucopias and some pilgrim hats
Throughout the harvest month of November
It’s hard to find Thanksgiving, think of that,
Amongst the rush from Halloween to December!
Throughout the harvest month of November
I’m seeing some frozen turkeys in the freezers
Amongst the rush from Halloween to December,
A token for us old Thanksgiving-lover geezers.
I’m seeing some frozen turkeys in the freezers
Seems like Thanksgiving slips silently in between
A token for us old Thanksgiving-lover geezers,
Stores were decorated lavishly for Halloween.
Written November 6, 2022
Categories:
geezers, holiday, november, thanksgiving, thanksgiving
Form: Pantoum
Old curmudgeons who poke and prod
Acting like they are always near to God,
Having nothing of value to do or say
Admonishing me to kneel and pray,
Get on my nerves, and make me mad,
And when they go, I’m awfully glad.
I do not admire their toxic attitudes,
These geezers who truck in platitudes
To think you, hypocrite, know of love
Your words do not come from above!
Criticizing our country, those who serve
I say to you, “You have some nerve!”
Written September 24, 2022
Categories:
geezers, feelings, how i feel,
Form: Couplet
Lady Melanie with silver locks
Loved her bonbons, bagels, and graved lox.
Curmudgeon geezers viewed her a fox,
But she loved them less than chicken pox.
Melanie kept free as best she could.
She allowed no time for coquetry
Or Penelope-style stitchery.
But three bores persistence understood.
Trini, a jet jockey CEO
Lived his life allegro con brio.
As his lovely red Lamborghini,
His love raced too fast for Melanie.
Claude, a failed nebulous maunderer,
Gossip, post-modern philosopher
Believed everything in life was free,
Which made sweet Mellie his property.
Her third paramour drove flat-bed trucks.
When Bo misspoke, he would say “Aw shucks!”
And then, hands on, wordlessly switch gears.
She cast him off leaving him in tears.
Single she may wait until too late,
For a blissful bridal altar state.
Should her three bores e'er face a hot date
At least she shall stand at heaven’s gate.
Categories:
geezers, anxiety, car, feelings, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
Term Limits Opinion
Miracle Man
6/13/2022
My fear is,
New gun laws considered will be more hocus-pocus,
and even if enacted won’t make shootings go away.
They’re intended to appease and shift public focus,
and put off existing problems until some later day.
Even baby formula has now become hard to procure,
southern borders open, and inflation a massive load.
While we search for solutions and wait for a cure.
congress continues, kicking the can down the road.
I think term limits should be passed into law,
but old geezers won’t vote for laws affecting them.
The removal of old wood should never be a flaw,
voters prune young growth and leave the old stem.
Thoughts of an old geezer.
Tom
Categories:
geezers, how i feel, political,
Form: Quatrain
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic dude
Why's this body giving me flack?
Lumps have appeared all over my bod
Don't think they were there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in other ways
My body is falling apart bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this ageing tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
Yesterday, I was still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To cry 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If I could only control my bowels!
Categories:
geezers, age,
Form: Rhyme
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