Best Geezers Poems
Written: October 10, 2023
Night Bewitches Sponsored by: Shadow Hamilton
A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our souls. Erich Fromm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the placidity of the night's embrace,
bewitched the cosmos with an arcane grace.
The moon, a silver orb, may induce its rise.
Oozing its ethereal aurora over the skies
Whispers of worm words waft on wafture wear,
As the stars spangle, their nexus is spare.
The night wiles with its vestigial spell,
Drawing us in, under a talisman dwell.
Penumbras plaster pegs poltergeists of trees,
The twilight augury decry casts souls at ease.
Geezers of nightgown awaken from slumber,
Suing solace in the Cimmerian shade to clamber
The eventide sky overawes with a cosmic array.
Stars bedazzle and coxswain us on our way.
Moonlight sumptuous aura in a gentle glow,
Steer us through the shadow as the nexus flows.
Ebony necromancy decry a glamorous sight.
Drawing us close to the serendipity of the night.
In this cosmic wee hour, dreams bear flight.
Our souls are raised, and our hearts blight.
So let us indulge in this nocturnal delight,
As dusk vamps, squirting a glamor of delight.
Let us wander in the moonlit haze,
As sableness susurrous surreptitious sprays
Wee crepuscule twiddles, a plum night symphony
Where conceit phantasm and verity shed sympathy
Allotting an awareness acumen ariose and aureate
Upon ubiquitous utters uncanny unsophisticate.
Categories:
geezers, analogy, appreciation, dream, night,
Form:
Rhyme
Mary Jane aka ganja, grass, marijuana and a host of other names.
Serenity is yours to gain
being led in dance to fairyland
swing waltz with Mary Jane
Sapped by undue stress and strain
tango’s for two yet ‘lone you stand
serenity is yours to gain
When music sounds an odd refrain
discordant noise in every strand
swing waltz with Mary Jane
One-step, two-step to higher plane
wild rumba to a one-man band
serenity is yours to gain
Cha-cha and spruce your addled brain
Skunk, Lebanese, most every brand
swing waltz with Mary Jane
When life is sucked dry vein-by-vein
reborn yourself with spliff in hand
serenity is yours to gain
swing waltz with Mary Jane
***********************************
A SPECIAL VILLANELLE TO ALL GANJA-GUZZLING OL' GEEZERS
Categories:
geezers, happiness
Form:
Villanelle
Rather lost, they stare over the divide,
how best to circumnavigate this obstacle?
They can see a path gently sloping down
but it is far off to the north two days ride.
West is back from whence they had come,
east is an impassable cliff of sheer rocks.
They can not see far to the south but maybe,
they talk it over and head into the unknown.
Tumble weed rolling by pushed by the wind
as playfully it blows them into their path.
Miniscule trees dot the flat plateau
and small shrubs popping up here and there.
In a hurry they head on swiftly southwards
and soon start to descend to the valley below.
Billy is pale with anxiety as they push on
his wife Betty is due to give birth.
Sammy casts worried looks at his friend knowing
there is little he can say that will help.
At last they reach the valley and gallop on
Just another five miles will they make it in time?
Their horses now struggling, sweat pouring off them.
Billy's homestead comes into view cattle scattering
as they gallop through the herd and into the yard.
Sammy hangs back as Billy dashes in to Betty.
In full labour she screams "Where have you been?"
"The preacher is here to wed us. Did you get the ring?"
"I have it here" said Billy and without delay they were married.
And within minutes the twins arrived a boy and girl both bawling.
"Geezers you cut that close Billy" said Sammy
as they slumped on the front porch drinking beer.
"We made it in the nick of time" replied Billy
flushed with the joy and fulfilment of life.
written 17/09/2014
contest: Cowboys in the Badlands
sponsor Isaiah
Categories:
geezers, horse, life,
Form:
Cowboy Poetry
Now let me be the first to hasten to say,
And all your smirks and snide remarks allay,
That I've never darkened the door of a cabaret,
Where exquisite damsels are on display!
But (I'm told) they don't wear fancy tutus like in a ballet.
Heavens no! They're scantily clad (I'm told) and they sway!
And of their practiced gyrations (I'm told) there's quite an array!
Their hugging that pole (I'm told) will certainly spin your toupee!
They must be on guard (I'm told) to keep lecherous geezers at bay!
A few bucks slipped in their cleavage (I'm told) is their meager pay!
Shucks! This has piqued my interest - I must check it out some day!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 3 in Miranda Lambert's "Burlesque Boutique" Contest - April 2011
Categories:
geezers, funny
Form:
Monorhyme
Stubbing my toeses and whiskers on women
Stepping on nettles and by a swarm of bees bitten
Bounded like hostages tied up with strings
These are a few of my suckiest things
White collared phonies and bills piled in oodles
Bad smells and poop felled from schnauzers and poodles
Old geezers who cry when the old swooner sings
These are a few of my suckiest things
News from the presses with more stock value slashes
Cornflakes that grow soggy when in the milk splashes
Little wood splinters that felt like a sting
These are a few of my suckiest things
When the moon lights
When the glee sings
When I’m feeling glad
I stumble upon one of my suckiest things
And everything turns bad
>
Categories:
geezers, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic dude
Why's this body giving me flack?
Strange lumps have appeared all over my bod
Don't think they were there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in other ways
My body is falling apart bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this ageing tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
Yesterday, I was still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If I could only control my bowels!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories:
geezers, humor,
Form:
Quatrain
My Favorite Things comes to mind...
a random assortment, a jumble of words
a quotient of portions, quotidian served
quixotic strivings of the great deca-dense
obscured in meaning, eschewing all sense
visions and nightmares and hallucinations
erudite arguments, odd fascinations
old geezers fondling memories of things
most folk would not to mixed company bring
inchoate ramblings of damaged young minds
bubbled through water and cardboard box wine
audible groans from the web server host
these are the ones make me giggle the most
shouting in vacuums, a riotous void
pontificating, or mildly annoyed
grieving, believing, or weaving a string
virtuous outburst that don’t do a thing
rants about orange man and all his mean tweets
and, yes, “Let’s go, Brandon” to make things complete
guns, poo, abortion, yes, all are discussed
sometimes the thin-skinned bail out in disgust
side by side, posting, the sage and the fool
the wise in their youth and those starting to drool
bleeping our excrement down on the page
somehow it all seems to soften the rage
when the bard shouts
when the muse screams
‘bout covid or Vlad
we’re at a computer
with just poo to fling
and that makes me laugh a tad
Categories:
geezers, humorous, parody,
Form:
Rhyme
Guess who the mad gab is all about
It's us, a well known pack of old geezers
Old grandpas that are in trouble no doubt
Now most of us are coughers and weezers
It was a risk to be cool and not hide
Drawn to the taboo tobacco, that's right
While John and Paul sang ticket to ride
We would smoke that tobacco all night!
Some warned against it when sales began
Others would speak out and say balderdash
We are just cool like the Marlboro man
And for cigs, kerplunk, put down their cash
Our life has gone up in smoke it's true
Now we need oxygen close to our heads
But don't feel bad for this old sorry crew
We do have some fancy hospital beds!
3/11/2019
For Anyone Game? contest
By Carol Connell
Categories:
geezers, addiction, grandfather, humanity,
Form:
Rhyme
PERPETUUM MOBILE
I must go down to the pigging shops again
To Morrison, Tesco, Aldi or maybe Lidl
For I Just went there for the sodding milk in vain
How could I forget! it really is a riddle
To me, though to my wife it’s clear as day
It’s because my age is already well past middle
And the senior moments frequently make play
When I get there, wonder why, and so head back
Starting endless cycle - perpetuum mobile
Could it be I’ve found an answer to energy lack?
Send old geezers to the shops - instructions to buy
Tie to National Grid their unending there-and-back
We could call it ‘renewable’, answering Greeny cry
With old codgers in perennial supply.
22 April 2019
Categories:
geezers, humor,
Form:
Terza Rima
"Too young!" were the words that everyone said,
while working so hard to get a degree.
First time on our own, and fresh newlyweds,
seeking employment, yet happy were we!
In a strange new town, now, a brand new wife,
I pinched our pennies, the dollars much more!
Hitting the sidewalk, this busy new life
would land me a job, at Rolf's Clothing Store!
Old geezers, would ask me "Would you help me, dear?"
Keeping composure, ..(must not crack a grin!)
"A suit, ...some undies: What size should I wear??"
My tape-measure panics,..(where to begin?!!)
Measuring inseams from crotch to the hem!
Is not a task, I'll be wanting again !!!!
____________________________________________________
11/12//14 For Sara's Contest: JOBS
Categories:
geezers, funny, work,
Form:
Sonnet
She walks in to the disco
Feeling pretty hot
Glances from the others
Tell her that she’s not.
Killer heels do just that
Lips a cupid bow
Drops her Prada handbag
Wrinkles start to show.
Downs a quick Bacardi
Drinking makes her bold
Confidence is growing
Away from her cuckold.
Geezers in the corner
Laugh into their pints
Quick one round the back
Better than a fight.
Twenty each, bet is on,
First one out the door
Get another round in
Won’t take long for sure.
Lads all start to cheer him
Barely heard above the beat
Sweat pours down his forehead
Glass beneath his feet.
Heads off to the ladies
Startled by harsh light
Best friend at her side
Two cougars in the night.
She looks into a mirror
Mascara down her cheeks
Wipes her eyes, full of doubt
The company she seeks.
Another bottled Breezer
The pain will go away
Think about tonight
How to make him pay.
First attempt, chat her up
Give out some on blarney
Flashy car, lots of cash,
Time spent in the Army.
Down in one, more to drink
Atmosphere is cool
Muscle flex, turns her nose
Starts to feel a fool.
Offers her a lift home
Does she want a ride
Drop off by the station
Should she keep her pride.
Love bite on the shoulder
Hopes it can’t be seen
Stomach churns with sickness
How stupid she has been.
Gets home Sunday morning
Feeling really cheap
Clock shows 4 am
Really needs to sleep.
Old man in drunken stupor
Whisky glass beside
Slithers into bed
Sleep is where she hides.
Later in the day
She’ll be chatting on the phone
Talking of the weekend
How she was not alone.
Was it really worth it
It doesn’t solve a thing
Bitter clouds descend
Floor begins to spin.
On the other side of town
Down another street
A wife is full of tears
Her husband is a cheat.
Categories:
geezers, marriage, people, relationship,
Form:
Light Verse
I stripped down to my skivvies
Revealing all flab
Something is sagging
I think it's my BALLS
MAN! am I bummed
Can't examine the rear
Who would laugh
but the kids drinking beer
Their's are nice and firm
While ours is dragging skin
The bulge on my weenie
is old age coming in
When I go to the john
the diaper is smelly
especially the parts
that connect to the belly
When worse comes to worse
My uncle makes house calls
To the old and weary
geezers with sagging balls
Categories:
geezers, angst, life, time, old,
Form:
Epitaph
“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the malls
there was widespread confusion and hot, frenzied brawls.
Many shoppers were wanting the same bloomin’ gifts.
Desperation resulted in feud-level rifts.
There were four grandmas fighting for one preschool game.
Their ferocity made angry pit bulls look tame.
Jostling shoppers collided and bags hit the floor.
Their attempts to retrieve them caused head butts and more.
Loud confusion—“That’s mine!” “No, it’s mine!!”—could be heard.
Startled bystanders heard more than one naughty word.
Two old geezers that should have been home fast asleep
bumped into a tired Santa; all three muttered BLEEP.
When announcements “Ten minutes till close” hit their ears,
those who hadn’t found all they desired held back tears.
The wild nightmare soon ended, and tired folks went home,
knowing that no time soon, crowded malls they would roam.
All would vow, “NO MORE last -minute shopping for me!”
Christmas morning—well-rested— all smiles by the tree,
they remembered the monsters they’d been just last night
and rejoiced that those creatures were nowhere in sight!
November 22, 2018, entered in Joseph May's Night Before Christmas
contest
Categories:
geezers, christmas, confusion,
Form:
Rhyme
Doctors getting exposed like popes,
Caught pulling the rope a dope,
Falling down the entropic slope,
No integrity - can't cope,
Seats of power to dethrone,
Why don't y'all extradite your own?
If ya catch a sleeper near ya,
Take that tommy peeper,
To the nearest theatre,
And expose that creature,
Its the latest greatest feature,
In reality media,
Put it on wikipedia,
We like, "Dawg, we hear ya!"
Stuff ain't black and white,
So let's punk these zebras,
Walkin' 'round like libras,
How 'bout we take their medicine,
To debilitate libidos,
Of ghouls in tuxedos,
Friggin' neato,
Now let's stop the peep show.
We gon' Murder, lazy suckers in art,
Not in the streets, are you a stinking sweet tart?
Be smart, avoid Agents Provocateurs,
Lessons learned from disturbed dealings with nerds,
I'm jealous of every one of you free punks,
Livin' lux' cuz you learned math and redux,
Methodology, just watchin' the flux,
Making rational decisions and earning big bucks,
Sucks to me be me cuz I'm a sensitive nut,
Driving the short bus right into a rut,
I once thought I was a cut above the rest,
Perhaps blessed,
But when putting faith to the test,
I found a lot of hex, and now maybe I'm vexed,
I realized my faith wasn't in myself,
It was in the rest,
So I went on a quest to discover why I felt,
And my feelings lead me straight to hell.
OMJeepers creepers,
Would ya get a load of these sheepish creatures?
Could ya set a tone of leaner demeanor?
Should ya live by the vote of some evil geezers?
I'm gettin' at the throat of some evil deeds,
I'm pullin' out weeds like, "who planted these?"
Some GMO seeds, like, "do we really need these?"
These things we see have an invisible leash,
I breath, I eat, I sleep, I compete,
I discriminate based on character for real,
No Little Bo Peep gon' convince me,
That skin means stink,
Look sir, I'm free,
To use intuition to see into you,
Sleuthin' through the politics that consume you,
Communistic who's who protruding through all the doo-doo,
You know this, Excentrix is super glue sticky dude.
Categories:
geezers, anger, conflict, culture, emotions,
Form:
Free verse
A goldfish has a memory of about three seconds
Very much like senior citizens I'd say
They're often seen aimlessly walking the streets
Wearing their dear wife's negligee
A sneeze has been recorded at travelling over
One hundred forty feet per second
Fast enough to knock a buzzard off a poop wagon
An amazing feat without question
During an average person's lifetime, one will eat
About sixty thousand pounds of food
That's the weight of about six full grown elephants
Embarrassing to be seen in the nude
In Tokyo, I'm told they sell toupees for your dog
Come on, that's just downright bizarre
Way back, “pants” was considered a bad word
That's one of the strangest facts by far
Only one person in two billion will live to be
One hundred and sixteen or older
Wonder if these geezers are still sexually active
Does the fire of passion still smoulder
The longest flight of a rooster ever recorded
Was about thirteen seconds they say
Chasing all the pretty hens around the barnyard
Clucking, “ride 'em cowboy, olé!”
Did you know Ramses Condoms were named
After the pharaoh Ramses the Second
This gentleman surely didn't use any such protection
For fathering 160, he's a legend
If you ever find yourself in a crocodile's jaws
Push your thumbs into its eyeballs
The croc will scream and immediately let go
Then run away before you get mauled
© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories:
geezers, fun,
Form:
Quatrain