Long Geezers Poems
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Matthew O' Harris Ease A "FAKE" Irishman
Juiced tin he nuff tame afore
thee Saint Patrick's Day,
(hens this faux written accent
donned to sail hub berate won big todo
fur those peep pull o' Eire rush deuce cent)
aye pretend, and thence make oop
duff fallow wing vary minor event
harkening back e'er sins this generic gent,
hooped tubby imp poet hint wannabe,
(who hapt tubby absent
without leave from Brogue kin home
since a lil whippersnapper, and accident
boot tappin), when me note holler than
garden variety leprechaun, advertisement
tuff hind miss elf, no major ailment -
good red ants tomb ma late mum,
which fair re: creatures, no argument
booth us, iz moar rare than
finding far leaf clover,
and eek will coz fur astonishment
eef hoodlum (caw zing
bedlam) sought atonement
Yukon bull heave or no,
how life on the lamb
as a Dublin street urchin met belligerent
scruffy geezers old looking and bent
till kind ole soul named C. Clement
took yaws truly as apprenticed
Baron without complaint,
though kept ma lidded concealment
secret til search abandoned confident
gnome hissing pipsqueak,
would be sorely missed
giving fresh start with help to coinvent
patois, and be comb real estate magnet
ne'er no wing want oof
basic needs - yea content
in due time making pile
moan hee tall as Taj Mahal
kicking back during Lent
gerrymandering convalescent
old age spinning yarns
for modest copayment
total tubular tales with
nary a Harris Boss Tweed stitch of truth!
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic stud
Why's my body giving me flack?
A strange bump just formed on my neck
Don't think it was there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in all other ways
My body is falling apart, bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this aging tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
I feel like I'm still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If only I could control my bowels!
I raised you south, but he went north.
I vote for Geezers, he votes for Sneezers
I despise cats, he has filled a house with them
We still love each other, my son and I.
I taught you to stand up for yourself and others.
I raised you to cook and clean and do your own laundry.
Anticipating that you would grow up and be a great catch.
I pushed you out of our nest, encouraging you to marry and father.
We have wonderful debates, he and I and his wife and children.
When I say, “I think you should,” he laughs, saying “If only I could.”
We disagree about so many things and yet, I am bursting with pride
For he has developed into his own person.
My seventy-two-year-old cousin has raised a forty-eight who lives at home.
She has always provided him room, board, and a meal. He has never jobbed.
When he threatens to move out and become independent
She says “break my heart why don cha?”
Break My Heart Why Don Cha Contest
Written 2-03-2021
Sponsor Edward Ibeh
I have heard of crows and crones
But these old geezers are overblown
over dressed with suits that squeak
beady eyes, scrawny necks, and beak
are they from the barnyard then?
Their necks all wrinkled to their chin
I have heard of crows and crones
But these are ugly as crawdad gnomes
it’s weird you say that said the chicken
they are abnormal roosters, hearts a tick’n
we call them Slim and Slam for fun
They walk real slow, neither can run
They appeared out of nowhere in the fall
They are scrawny and weird added pig Paul
They do not talk, whistle, peep or talk
Weird to even us fowl, added the chicken hawk.
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic dude
Why's this body giving me flack?
Strange lumps have appeared all over my bod
Don't think they were there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in other ways
My body is falling apart bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this ageing tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
Yesterday, I was still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If I could only control my bowels!
© Jack Ellison 2013
idi amin; hitlers sins..stalin pharoah ceaser many geezers
Primed with power, poor agendas always a lender' tied together masses heavy levered; watching' the gates and schwab scoros schwartzenegger.colin powel mengle mussolini and xi. I'm out on on putin..yet no disputing..'No
War is peaceful.' Many descriptions sow deceitful.' Poor
White people..Poor black people..Take the burdens observe
Not the curtain' (or woven web) world net..Spider set?
Marvel do you? Yet maybe not? That information speeds.'plans in feeds? For Nations mediums false-prophet-less.) Souless! Attack the wholeness..Human need
Not bettered by greed' I also address one point.' I confess
That might be right? Of all above brokers above ( most are
White) priviledged white people? Some Swiss are ' or other?
And if that changes? Will there still be grift.? I call for
Jesus..Who alone can lead us ' suffered while in power.)
So fine His mission.' Deep decision..Religion is broken.' By
His body By His pain. He who walked the earth..Who smashed the reins.' Now hell is open..Look and see.' Turn
Away don't take part..Let His Love set you free.!
She walks in to the disco
Feeling pretty hot
Glances from the others
Tell her that she’s not.
Killer heels do just that
Lips a cupid bow
Drops her Prada handbag
Wrinkles start to show.
Downs a quick Bacardi
Drinking makes her bold
Confidence is growing
Away from her cuckold.
Geezers in the corner
Laugh into their pints
Quick one round the back
Better than a fight.
Twenty each, bet is on,
First one out the door
Get another round in
Won’t take long for sure.
Lads all start to cheer him
Barely heard above the beat
Sweat pours down his forehead
Glass beneath his feet.
Heads off to the ladies
Startled by harsh light
Best friend at her side
Two cougars in the night.
She looks into a mirror
Mascara down her cheeks
Wipes her eyes, full of doubt
The company she seeks.
Another bottled Breezer
The pain will go away
Think about tonight
How to make him pay.
First attempt, chat her up
Give out some on blarney
Flashy car, lots of cash,
Time spent in the Army.
Down in one, more to drink
Atmosphere is cool
Muscle flex, turns her nose
Starts to feel a fool.
Offers her a lift home
Does she want a ride
Drop off by the station
Should she keep her pride.
Love bite on the shoulder
Hopes it can’t be seen
Stomach churns with sickness
How stupid she has been.
Gets home Sunday morning
Feeling really cheap
Clock shows 4 am
Really needs to sleep.
Old man in drunken stupor
Whisky glass beside
Slithers into bed
Sleep is where she hides.
Later in the day
She’ll be chatting on the phone
Talking of the weekend
How she was not alone.
Was it really worth it
It doesn’t solve a thing
Bitter clouds descend
Floor begins to spin.
On the other side of town
Down another street
A wife is full of tears
Her husband is a cheat.
How come all my good buddies
Look so much older than I?
Guess they didn't take care of themselves
That's surely the reason why
Look at me, I'm still dapper and fit
But my friends look frail and tired
Can't believe we went to the same school
Seems life has put out their fire
Skin's all wrinkled, their hair is white
Their teeth are not all their own
Some even need the help of a cane
As they search for their way back home
Whoops! Just saw myself in a mirror
Is this somebody's idea of a joke
I'm so much younger than the image I see
That's surely some other bloke
Am I really one of those poor sad folks
With brand new hips and knees
Sure thought my friends were not aging well
Turns out one of those guys is me
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic stud
Why's my body giving me flack?
A strange bump just formed on my neck
Don't think it was there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in all other ways
My body is falling apart, bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this aging tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
I feel like I'm still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If only I could control my bowels!
I'm really much too young to get old
Something's drastically out of whack
I'm still this handsome, charismatic stud
Why's my body giving me flack?
A strange bump just formed on my neck
Don't think it was there yesterday
My hair seems a bit thinner and greyer
But I'm still young in all other ways
My body is falling apart, bit by bit
Takes me an hour to put on my pants
I wheeze while watching sports on TV
My wife never asks me to dance
There must be a pill old geezers can take
To slow down this aging tommyrot
I'm not ready yet for an old folks home
I feel like I'm still pretty hot
This can't be, I'm much too young
To say 'uncle' and throw in the towel
Gonna fight like hell and never give up
If only I could control my bowels!