It only pays off to know God, not knowing people....People will leave you and forsake you...
These are things that God will never do....Spend time getting to know God and He will always
bring the right people to you...
“My God” said St. Peter “how neat
A donkey head for trick or treat!
Just two feet? I want more!”
So god gave him four
off he ran hee-haw bleat!
There Gabriel stood with his horn
He said God I really am bored!
With a poof he’s reborn
With a tail and a horn
For tonight Gab’s gone unicorn!
“Well, Heavens!” Said Beelzebub
“Now ain’t this a fine rub-a-dub!
“Can I play?”
“YES YOU MAY!”
and poof he’s an apple in tub!
Yes, God is a Hall-o-ween gaffer
And the night rang out with HIS laughter
Ghosts genuflect as they fly
Vamp’s morph to good guys
And Hosts raised a toast to hereafters!
I keep stumbling upon names of God as I work,
You can tell it is a name of God because because you get a little shiver when you realise it.
Of course I only have a lifetime,
A human one,
And as time is short I don't think I will pursue it,
However,If I have children and they are unruly,
I might set them a few lines.
I woke, it was dark and some thing was on my face,
I tried to move my arms but found my self in a confined place.
My head was spinning and I felt sick
I think I was drugged and someone was playing a bad trick
I heard a noise but could make out what it could be
I lay there wondering what was happening to me
Who could have done this, I couldn’t think of a reason why
I started to pray, “O God please don’t let me die.”
I felt the lid “O God I’m in a wooden box.”
They going to bury me naked just wearing me socks.
Then I heard the sound, a chain saw, they were trying to start.
I began to panic, I was frightened, chest pains, I think it’s my heart.
Terrified my bowels flowed free
It’s ok I thought that the last thing I’ll leave them from me
I began to whimper still trying to figure out who and why
And praying louder “O God please don’t let me die.”
Then I heard my wife, she’s in with them I thought until she said,
“I told you not to drink, now come out from under the bed.”
Grandma, the little girl said
Where do we go when we’re dead?
We go with God up in heaven
She told the young girl of seven
And gently patted the top of her head.
Then my goldfish who died I can say
Is with God up in heaven today
Little brother yelled no
I know that ain’t so
Cause I saw mommy flush him away!
Just happy every morning when I wake up alive
Wiggle me toes, see to see if my feet still have feeling
Thank The Good Lord and send the Devil a "Go To Hell" card
Guess I made it through another day and did survive
And giving me another reason for being
Maybe getting old, but no use to take it hard
Crawl out if bed and try stand up
Navigate to where I left the kitchen last night
Pray to God there is some coffee
Takes forever, but i am ready for a cup
Or there might be a pretty good fight
Three cups for sure, then I will be able to see
Check the mail and all the bills are on time'
When my knees go to hurting, know that is going to rain
When it goes to clouding up, go inside and let her rip
Seems like they know how to get every dime
All the medicine I take, is WD-40 just for the pain
Teeth all accounted for, thanks to Poly-Grip
When my belly goes to growling, it is time to eat
When I go to sweating, then I stand in the shade
When the Sun goes down, Thank God for another creation
Grab me a cup of coffee, take me a easy seat
Another day is done and I hope all of my dues are paid
No candles or cake, everyday is a celebration
once while planning to take a picture
i thought about how i could
get God to pose
of course i could use a distingushing suit
but for a picture with God
a suit is of little use
then i thought of the obvious
a wonderful plan
i would take a picture with
Gods word in my hand
still as of yet
i have not posed for that picture
but at times i ponder pleasantly
on when i'll take the picture
until one day
it was cruelly exposed
i already had a picture of God
and just didn't know
pulling down the sun vissor
inside my truck
a cut out picture of
Allanis Morrisette
she played God in a movie called
"Dogma"
it frightened me at first
for obvious reasons
but when i think of God
i think that this is the kind of joke
he would play
so, allanis morrisette will stay
i will not worship her
or say that she is God
but when ever i see that picture
i'll see a picture of God
Useless Things
Parasites are useless
By definition
Mere takers
Not givers
Why then
Did God create them
Mosquito’s are useless
An annoying itching blood sucking nuisance
So then
For what obscure and Godly purpose
Do you think God created them
Was it because we could take pleasure in killing them
Because I do
One less Mosquito in the world
One less Mosquito to bite you
Don’t tell me it’s the Devils work
A mere fallen angel could not conceive
Of all the living detailed intricacies
For blue printing a Mosquito
But still it’s a peculiar notion
Tapeworms, tics and fleas
Bed bugs and sawflies
And all their other parasitic families
In the great and grand Natures plan of things
What possible intention
Was behind their invention
They’re useless
Just an annoyance
For what incomprehensible divinities purpose
Does a Mosquito
Comprehend
what was God thinking
when He made porcupines
and skunks
didn't He know they'd stick us
didn't He know they stunk
what was the beauty
in bats, rats and flies
bats they mostly scare us
and rats they draw the flies
to the ocean he gave
electric eels, jellyfish and sharks
don't even think of touching them
or you'll get a bite without a bark
and in the land of swamps
populated with misquitoes
leeches and lizards
disease infested, blood sucking
ugly looking critters
what was God thinking
when He was doing all of that
He was just board
with simple dogs and cats