Tariffs spanked my 401k
The shank-the-ball king had to say:
I will never flub
I’ve used the right club
Just check out my lie on this play
Categories:
flub, golf, success,
Form: Limerick
While the brisket was slow cooking we went to the pub
Their brisket was already done, that was the rub.
I said to my woman, can I have a bit of this grub?
That was my biggest mistake, it was a giant flub.
Although she said yes, she was pouting in a bit.
I recognized the sign of her bad side, she can be a chit.
grabbed the biggest beer I could find, and she threw a fit.
Knew now that the rest of my night was going to be full of grit.
Categories:
flub, march,
Form: Rhyme
Regina city councillors under fire
For ad campaign’s not looked at prior
How someone did not think to inquire
Check the news if you think me a liar
This province had some odd news breaks
Like the Tim Hortons with the snake…
The moose in the school for hoof’s sake
But this capital city goof takes the cake
I suppose they were hoping for a laugh
Now it looks like there’ll be some new staff
The response may still be half and half
Talked about around the coffee carafe
They’ve taken a lot of flack in the past
Tried to steer into the skid at last
That plan backfired pretty damn fast
A collective face palm, country vast
A headline that didn’t need to be spun
With marketing that cannot be undone
Since the new slogan that they chose to run
Is : “The city that rhymes with fun”…..
** Slogan since retracted by Experience Regina
Still Managed to make International headlines, well done...
Categories:
flub, words,
Form: Quatrain
Tapping my pencil on the desk.
What will I write about?
Chewing the eraser -
Now I have to stick to the subject!
I worry -
Is the lead too long?
Will it break?
What if I make a mistake?
I have to be cautious
and aware of each flub.
As the lead slacks
I must be ready to end.
But what if I have more
to tell?
I worry
about that too.
I’ll likely chew
another eraser
before
I'm through.
Oh no!
Like driftwood
I find myself doodling -
my subject’s brooding.
12/7/2021
Categories:
flub, writing,
Form: Light Verse
I went walking the footpath between life and death.
It was there I first discerned the strum of a harp.
I hastened my step, tracing wooded trail with stealth`
as the resonant resplendent tones grew clear and sharp.
I quickly came upon a figure the size of a mountain.
He carried a manful bearing even as he played.
Smiling at me like he knew me, I felt he was my champion.
“I am the Dagda, god of life and death,” he conveyed.
“I rule agriculture, fertility, seasons and magic.”
Next to him was a cauldron of plenty along with his club
of life or death, and his eyes stored memories both joyous and tragic.
Humbled by this good, great god of Ireland, I felt like a flub.
“Do not trouble yourself,” he paused and said with wisdom.
“You are always most welcome, here in my kingdom.”
Categories:
flub, god, ireland, magic, myth,
Form: Sonnet
To see, or not to see, that, too, is the question:
Whether ’tis happier to hail heartless happenstance
With resigned reality, or designed denial,
Twice succored by seductive self-hypnosis—ay, there’s the flub!
For what follies would such fogged perceptions fashion,
And ought not fierce defiance fade if sense has flown?
Thus vanity, that shifty, false defector,
Binds cowards, all, to say we’d sagely see,
But seeing we’ve imbibed its boozy blindness,
In vain we half-close eyes, shake spears, exist.
Categories:
flub, life, parody, philosophy,
Form: Blank verse
self to expound,
whereby scrawling how painful
eye experience,
where 21st century
urban jungle doth abound
to exacerbate anxiety and panic,
aye noticed round
about puberty, and plugged up ears
to dull the nerve wrack
king Breitbart cacophony
even family pet
dogs (part Border
Collie and Hell Hound)
barked with shrill torturous yap,
which reverberation did
assault and pound
delicate constituent
audiological organ of mine
impossible to avoid unwillingly
being part of loud culture club
emanations impossible to dub,
thus helplessly bombarded, exposed,
and subjected to discordant
damaging noise found
me to flub
attendant tasks, especially grub
bing to earn chump change
to avoid mingling at social hub
rather remain hermetically
sealed, where nub
body cant see me, hence
that concludes thine literary rub.
Categories:
flub, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Free verse
I do not need a cup of tea.
I do not need you're sympathy.
I don't need you to be obtuse.
I just need a cup of Seuss.
The nib, the nub the flub a dub.
A ring of truth in the dirty tub.
How many squubbles can it squish?
How many bubbles can it swish?
The Freckle Heckle Farkle Foos.
Escaped the zoo and now is loose.
They've contacted inspecter Kleuss.
And asked for help from Dr. Seuss.
There seems to be no rhyme or reason
For there seems to be no crime or treason.
But when the slime leaks from the sneez'n.
Sadly, it's just that time of season.
So when your brain goes down the drain.
And there seems that there's just no refrain.
Just blow your nose to ease the pain.
But not your mind so that you stay sane.
Note: It seems I am up to my old ignorant bliss and didn't read what I shouldn't miss. So this won't be entered in the contest. So I offer it now just for jest. :)
Written April 10, 2017
Categories:
flub, allusion,
Form: Rhyme
Deep devious thought is requireD
On writing an acrostic of twO!
Under such circumstances yoU
Best take great care not to fluB
Lines or fail to follow a logicaL
Evaluation. Doubtless you’ll believE
All I say, should you try to write A
Competent composition and pedantiC
Research is definitely needed, foR
Only a few words will be fitting tO
Select, for you to achieve succesS!
Take care writing your attempT.
It’s needed for a good result. Perhaps I
Can help, to avoid an Acrostic catastrophiC!
Rhymer. April 25th, 2016.
(A Double Acrostic is one where the ultimate letter of each and every line, matches the first letter of said line. Not the easiest of acrostics to write, if a sense of continuity and logic is to prevail. The next step of course, is to have a rhyming sequence added. I shall leave that for another day!)
Categories:
flub, motivation, writing,
Form: Acrostic
It's summer, and it's the time
to take the train to old Saint Ives
and visit my Aunt Clementine
who lives alone by an old salt mine.
Aunt Clementine, she likes to dine
on mac and cheese at half past nine
then eats big slices of strawberry pie
while she sits and watches the fire flies.
Aunt Clementine loves polka dots
mostly orange, there's quite a lot
on walls and rugs, on kitchen tops
on her clothes and her dog named "Spot".
Aunt Clementine has crazy hair
that flies around most everywhere
while she hurries and scurries
here and there, and likes to say,
"Well, I declare!"
When she puts her lipstick on
Aunt Clementine breaks out in song
and tells me I should sing along
even if I forget or flub or FLOB
she tells me I am never wrong.
My Aunt Clementine is really fun
she certainly is not a nun
and so full of mischief
I just love to come
to be with her is double fun
in my book she is number one!
Categories:
flub, fun, silly,
Form: Rhyme
This season has been a great big flub.
Their tickets are harder to sell on Stub Hub.
The play from this team appears inherently weak.
It looks like the end of their five season division streak.
They appear to have trouble scoring a run.
When runners are stuck on base, the boys comes undone.
There are so many games the other teams have won.
Seeing this is the cause of fan frustration.
The fans stay away in order to save some face
because the team is struggling to stay our of last place.
What are the people saying around here?
That old, worn out phrase, “Wait until next year”.
Categories:
flub, sports,
Form: Rhyme
Client 9 Governor Spitzer
Was once New York’s ethics blitzer
This VIP flub
At the Emperor Club
Came from an overworked spritzer
Categories:
flub, funny, political
Form: Limerick
I took a little time tonight
To look back on the poems I write
Just to check and see if there
Were any improvement in my fare
On some of them I cried once more
On some of them, how I did roar
On one I laughed till my sides did ache
But I felt justified
Because of the comment Joseph Spence did write
Of course a spelling flub now and then
But what the hey
Cowboys don't talk to gud an nee way
I can't say I have changed much
Mayby there is hope after lunch
But if that does not pan out
I guess I'll just have to live with a pout
Categories:
flub, happiness,
Form: Rhyme