Expletive Poems

True Story

Walking in the front door with my sisters in tow, the phone on the sideboard in the dining room started ringing incessantly.  Upon answering the phone, a very determent voice accosted my ear with, ‘You are the lucky winner in our draw to receive a Life Coat makeover for your house—‘
‘This is not my house …’
‘Well, may I speak to Mr “X”?’
‘No, sorry. My father passed away an hour ago. We have just returned from the hospital—‘
The register in his voice went up an octave: ‘Well, put your mother on the phone, then.’
‘She passed away last week—‘
‘Of all the [expletive] excuses I have ever heard …’ And with that he slammed down the phone.

laughter is
the best medicine

s.c.a.n.d.a.l.i.s.e.d

        don’t judge
                    till you know 
                             the story …

Follow The Leader

Follow The Leader

I Love Playing
Follow The Leader
But I'm Not 
A Kid Anymore.

So I Don't.

But, When I Play
I Copy Everything
Perfectly...

I
Try To...
Copy All The Little
Nuances I Like...

Somebody Tripping,
Falling Off A Board
Waving Their Arms
Everywhere - WooWooWoo!!!

Expletive Deleted
Snot Running Out Of 
Their Nose
Blood Everywhere
(Just Kidding.)

(Maybe.)

A NATIONAL Treasure!

Oh That's Fun!
Fun Fun Fun!

But:
Then It's My Turn...
C'mon, You Guys!
Try THIS!!!!

And The Game Is Ruined.

-Gray Squirrel

05-21-2025

Addiction

Manipulation
Procrastination
Isolation
No motivation

Bell rings
Kettle sings
Timer dings
Pendulum swings

Frenetic
Pathetic
No work ethic
Copacetic

Obsession
Possession
Depression
Aggression 

Alarm beeping
Secret keeping
Trauma steeping
Expletive bleeping

Dramatic
Ecstatic
Fanatic
Traumatic

Affliction
Suspicion
Mortician
Addiction

Heart gentle, Eye mindful

I can offer you sympathy,
try to feel you through empathy.
But if you take it for granted,
silence will be your remedy.

Remember the seeds you planted,
when unnourished will bloom slanted.
Hearts yearn for balanced devotion,
like birds sharing what they chanted.

When there is too much commotion,
tears seem to fall in slow motion.
Will you give my soul an embrace,
try to sense its deep emotion?

Ego only portrays disgrace.
Some actions are hard to replace.
Judgement is harshly negative.
Selflessness should be your showcase.

When the conscience seems tentative,
your heartbeats become expletive.
But if you've helped quench someone's thirst,
the thoughtful become sensitive.

Before the heart and soul immerse,
the eyes observe compassion first.
Awareness brings sweet harmony.
A purpose that should be well versed.

Gorgon's Run

   

Quetzalcoatl, Moloch, NASA, SkyNet, poisonous satellites 
in pink and green, roam
The Earth, raining reversed 
Rockets of the bloody fountain
Discord of the Deep hordes,-
       reins in reign of 3 "3 of swords" 
and flowery deceiving words of their-
Anti- Trinity

Bot blinks in analytical tink

Tinkerbell grooms saloon for victims, 
exposes lice and the heat
Sprays foul graffiti on your door
Hentai, monsters, expletive leech
On all fours, vomitous speech

Aries horned worm Moon covers the Sun
Like black sack-cloth of hair
It turns to blood
Beheaded worshippers
Tailgaters of Ephraim
The Verdant Valleys given
Unto Black Weddings of Days

The head roams and swims
Free from constraints
No unified body

Rockets shot at the eclipse 
In passing
They defy resource's warning in lieu 
        of their Marshall unveiling, to propose
Wages of sin- pay for commodity

Bot flashes till shut down,
ERROR, ERROR...

DISTURBING

DISTURBING

Last night at the witching hour,
I was woken from a dream
By the sound of ghostly howling
And a shrill primaeval scream.

I opened one eye cautiously
And there above my bed,
A saw an apparition
That filled me full of dread.

It hovered for a moment,
Then flew around the room,
Muttering incantations,
A harbinger of gloom.

The wardrobe door was slamming,
The light flashed off and on.
The curtains billowed in the wind.
I cried out, “Please be gone.

“Oh, all right,” said the spectre,
With a disappointed sigh.
Then it flew out of the window
And up into the sky.

I nearly used an expletive,
But I never use that word.
So I used initials only
To query  what had occurred

BELLS

From the smallest of handbells to bells that are heavy,
bells of all types make a large bevy.

Small bells are often the tinkling kind
like decorative ones in some stores we find.

There are ring-a-ling bells and bells that jingle
like jingle bells ringing when merry folks mingle.

Sleigh bells on horses evoke for me
lovely white wonderland imagery.

Other small bells women wear round their ankles.
An alarm bell that wakens me, oh, how it rankles.

There are waist bells the belly dancers often will wear
while big bells on churches call people to prayer.

Some bells sound randomly; others on queue.
There are bike bells, school bells, and cow bells too.

Of bells that chime melodies, there's more than a few.
That's what the bells called Carillon do.

Bell bottom jeans were used back in my day
and Hell's bells is an expletive some say.

The most famous bell, what might it be?
I think it's the one that's called Liberty!

March

M- March expletive cold
A- aren’t we ready for April?
R- ready for showers?
C- changeover will hand Georgia:
H- hades bless your heart iced tea.

3/30/2023
March Into April - Tankacrostic
Andrea Dietrich

Colorful Atmosphere of Every August 12 Receives Warmth Wishes For Providence

What a time to be alive 
Though no one foresee the future 
But we've all got to fight for our life(expletive ) 
Dear, be thankful at this juncture 

With the past struggles of violence that slaps 
Let it turns a bit triggering for you to learn everything you need to live well
Life is our teacher; good students stand to breaking boundaries 
For joy man, your future will  tell 

No one taught us how to be a man
It is all conditioning 
The rains are here so,  don't dress that skinny
Where will your favorite place be to catch fun? 

My gracious lord, count not on his faithfulness to rebel against evil authorities over him
He has all days been of will to your church 
The alter boy have your alter dressed  with his hands touch 
Let not their contents waive off him your love claim 

Rejoice and shout with laughter 
Trade all your heaves for crown 
The lord has been so gracious 
Enough a great deal to be joyous 

Rejoice and shout with laughter 
Born in a great town 
A people of great birth 
Where will the flowers spring if God took away the earth?  

Happy birthday Providence.  Live to fulfill destiny

The Waterfall

In cold winters, water spates into sculptured ice;
opaque embodiments frozen in motion.
Art almost living, as it creaks and crests,
tumbling toward some other birth.
Lovers come here, drunk teenagers,
and just drunks.
Empty beer cans roll or fill with a gritty snow.
Someone has spray-painted red words on a rock face.
Sunlight quickens a glittering ice figure
it could be a porpoise surfing an arc of exhilaration,
it could be the form of an eagle taking off,
only now I see the shape of a sullen, resentful youth.
Perception is everything.
Why does that painted expletive feel so personal?
Maybe it’s because the beauty here is defiled,
or maybe I want to see something that is not here.
A gust of hurdy-gurdy wind guffaws
as I turn away.

The Worst of the Expletive

Stay awake stay awake he repeated
And then the worst of the expletive 
For it was just a struggle to maintain
A semblance of order in his refrain

Say it over and over again
Until it became like a long lost friend
But you have to practice the call
If only to make it to the final footfall 

And then there were the stares
Without one ounce of heartfelt cares
So wander along within your world
When it comes to the final geld.

© Paul Warren Poetry

Amidst Swirling Eddies of Fate

Amidst Swirling Eddies Of Fate...

Negligible power prevails
no matter one jock or nerd
feverishly hollars, fumes
decries, berates... absurd

fickle finger (middle phalange
doubling up as
flipping the bird),
unlikely the powers

that be heard
such lament, would not forfeit
issuing the last juicy,
meaty and tasty word

tis "FAKE" vanity
trumpeting to delude
those, who experience
a sourpuss mood,
when vile unfortunate
circumstances collude

(as if Putin on the Ritz),
whether you be dame or a dude,
no matter, the mindset
finds thee to brood
why without rhyme
or reason Saint Jude

or some other divine being
gleefully laughing out loud,
spurring an angrily strong
temptation to utter a crude
expletive taking by
surprise WASPY, snooty,

and noisily rude
listeners, who quickly exude
a gasp as if ye in pranced the nude
giving slight consolation punching
back at invisible joker
no matter he/she

could not be viewed
nonetheless yours truly
succeeded to read this
mashup, and get thee wooed.

The Perplexities of Brexit From a Cockney Point of View

Sovrinty’s a grand ole gent,
But sovrinty don’t pay the rent.
I got six kids’ moufs to feed.
Sqeezin’ stones don’t make ‘em bleed.
Theresa gal sure went and blew it,
But oo blimmin’ else is there to ’ do it?
Oo else is there to clear the fog?
Wot’s your take, mate? That toff, Reese-Mogg?
Oo ever duzzit, do it fast!
‘ow long’s this Brexit lark to last?

A glossary of terms for the protection and benefit of young learners of English

soverinty  - sovereignty
don’t (third person singular present tense  - doesn’t
ole – old
gent  - gentleman
maufs – mouths
squeezin’, goin’, - -ing
‘em – them
gal – girl
oo  - who
blimmin’  - expletive filling word like bloody, damn, etc.
toff -  a sometimes derisive term for member of the upper class from a non-member of that class's point of view
duzzit  - does it
‘ow  - how

Time Gentlemen, Please

Last words you say
Before your life slips away
Could be just incidental
Or indeed  not confidential 

I suppose the choice may not be
Something I’d want to say so easily
For it may be a surprise 
To me when I do not rise

Most people would want to die in their sleep
The grim reaper crept up the end complete
Your last words may hold
Nothing more then an expletive told

When it may be “F... me”
With my last breath pushed out free
Or will I remain silent at the end
No more needing to pretend.

© Paul Warren Poetry

Expletive Deleted

Expletive deleted from the text
The word is taboo not allowed in the mix
For these Celtic words was once forbidden
From the Norman Conquest or so it’s written

But now the words can be said
Expletives are heard and read
For the n word is worse or so I’ve heard
So now if you use it, you sound absurd.

© Paul Warren Poetry

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